Anyone remember that one time, an hour before my wedding, when I clogged up that child size toilet in the church? Knees at my chin I squatted over that thing for one last push before the vows. I flushed and heard the water splashing on the floor. The first thought through my mind was “she will kill me if I get this tux wet before the ceremony.” Then I figured I needed to move before that turd got me. I realized no one could get mad because I’m the groom. So I zipped up and got the hell out of there. One of my groomsmen was in the stall next to me. Sorry dude. Why does this stuff always happen to me?
I won’t complain too much, I did get to marry my best friend after escaping the overflow. Yes, it’s true; I did cry more than my wife did. In my defense, she was having a GPS tracking device surgically installed into my ankle at the time. In truth I don’t remember a lot from the wedding. It’s kind of a blur. I know she feels the same way. It wasn’t until we were in the car on our way to the hotel that we really came back down to earth. That’s when I finally got to share my toilet clogging story with the one person I really wanted to tell it to.
Four years seems like so long ago and like no time at all. Life now is completely different from back then. Not bad, just different. Life is hard and so is marriage. So I’m pretty pleased to have my wife to share the hardships with. She knows how to laugh even in the face of less than ideal circumstances. So today we will probably go get some dinner and have terrible service. They will probably get our order wrong. On the way home we’ll get a flat tire. I’ll love every minute of it, not because I love the trouble, just the company.
Love you Wife.
P.S. Next year you’re writing this…