Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When Strollers Attack!

Hobo Dan: There is no better wake up call then when some kid walks by your hotel window and loudly states "Something smells like ass!" What a great way to rise and grind. What a wonderful observation to loudly declare at 7 a.m. right by my window.

I had no idea Disney was so dangerous. Today, for instance, I almost had my foot cut off by a baby stroller. The razor blade sharp front end maimed my left ankle. My foot is holding on by a few tendons. I hope I don't need surgery to repair my broken soul. I think it's time to start requiring special license and training to operate those things. I'm not just thinking of myself here; kids have to ride in those death traps. The least we could do is make sure idiots aren't driving them. Then again maybe those idiots shouldn't be breeding either.

Wow today was hot. I know it's Florida in July, what should I expect? The wind just stopped and we baked like cake. Then we decided to take a boat ride in a floating oven. Throw on some salt and pair me with a nice wine and you have a damn fine meal. But seriously it has been a great trip.

The Wife: My legs are killing me and I have a ginormous blister on my toe (and yes, I wore tennis shoes not flip flops!). Despite my injuries and the husband's near death experience with a stroller (see above) today was of course fun because it is Disney...the Happiest Place on Earth and my most favorite place ever! Seriously you weirdos that don't like Disney creep me out! Sure the parks get crowded but's Disney! Most line areas are even themed (unlike regular amusement parks) so the wait never seems long!

This trip we've been pretty lucky with very little waits too, especially for July, which we have discovered really is Brazil month. I am all for diversity and culture, but seriously these massive Brazil groups don't get what a line is and just mass together. At one point I thought they formed a black hole around us and that I would never see my beloved Mickey again!

Other than the heat (duh it's Florida people who come here in July and gripe about being hot must be idiots) and the scary stampede of Brazilians, today was a lot of fun. We toured the world at Epcot and ventured to Hollywood Studios again, where we rode the Rockin' Roller Coaster and had some winning-good popcorn.

Closing the day was a trip to Magic Kingdom, the focal point of all Disney Parks! Here we dined at a restaurant based on the one from Lady and the Tramp (do kids today even know that movie?) and then rode all the classic rides: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and of course my favorite, Splash Mountain!

Oh and I should mention that we finally tried the famous pineapple "Dole Whips" and I must say they are worth the hype!
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