Thursday, June 2, 2011

Statesticles

So the internet is a weird place. Am I right? Everyone on the internet is an expert. Prove otherwise. I mean you can be one too. My wife is not a doctor, nor does she work in a health related field, but the internet has given her an MD in just about every medical study there is. Why go to the hospital anymore? If we could get a hold of some happy gas I’d let her remove my appendix tomorrow. Random appendix joke number 17: The appendix is kind of like an opinion, everyone has one, they are all completely useless and some people’s just need removed completely. I mean people on the net know everything there is to know. And if you don’t know it and want to find out there is no better way to do so then a web search. Somehow that gets me to the point, maybe.

Monday was a rather unusual day for this blog (yeah, yeah aren’t they all). I guess the combo of it being a holiday and I wrote about the most popular movie of the year (so far) on its opening weekend lead to an explosion of hits. From the time it posted at 6:00 AM Monday, to Tuesday morning, the blog got around one hundred hits. That is far and away the biggest one day this blog has ever seen. This makes me very happy, but I can’t help wondering what caused this. Lucky for me I have a whole stats page devoted to showing me where people are finding the blog. A majority comes from Facebook. Most of you know me personally and find the blog that way. There are also a few blog surfing sites that bring in some hits. The smallest number comes from Twitter, but I have reason to believe this number is bigger, but if you’re on a mobile device it does register a hit from Twitter itself. There is one other way to find the blog: Google search. If you Google the blog by name it will come up. The blog will also show up if you are searching for certain key words that Google happens to find in the blogs content. This phenomenon is what happened Monday. As you know I wrote about the Hangover 2. The very first sentences of that entry contained a penis joke. Here are a few Google searches that lead people to my blog on Monday:

hangover 2 penis
hangover 2 penises
the hangover 2 penis
"hangover 2" penises
hangover 2 penis scene
alot of penis in hangover2
hang over 2 a bad movie a penis movie
are there penis in hangover 2?
hangover 2 boobs
hangover 2 dick scene
hangover 2 penis shots
hangover 2 penis picture
hangover 2 reviews penis
how much penis is in hangover 2?
hangover 2 dick pic
dick pictures of hangover two
hangover 2 penis number
and my favorite: hangover 2 dump load

Are you as confused as I am? This is not the first time someone has stumbled onto this blog by way of strange Google search. A few months ago I went on a tirade and used some pretty obscure adjectives to describe my emotions. The entry was named Bescumber. I didn’t even use the word in the body of the blog, nor did I or will I, define it for you now. Go look yourself. Needless to say the day the post went up, I received a hit on the blog by an individual searching for “pictures of bescumber”. What does all this mean? Am I so crude a person that poo spray and penises is the best representation of my writing? Why did no one find the link to my blog because they searched for “Hangover 2 review”? Maybe it’s best I don’t know the answer.

2 comments:

  1. Oh man another one just showed up "hangover 2 real penis?" I'm seriously not making these up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love "how much penis is in hangover 2". It's not "how many" but "how much"--as though there is a mathematical equation to figure out the penis mass ratio.
    i.e. there are 14.7 phalocks of penis in the Hangover 2.

    ReplyDelete