Thursday, June 9, 2011

Topics for Discussion

And the name for the new Nintendo system is… Wii U? Yeah. They haven’t announced any tuition prices yet, but there will be a baseball team and a fight club. I’m hoping to get in with a track scholarship when they release Mario and Sonic at the London Olympic Games 2012. EA will probably port NCAA Football 2012 over to it, so at least Terrell Pryor will be able to finish out college somewhere. Maybe he can trade something for admission to Wii U. I bet we can even rip off Miami of Florida’s stupid “the U!” chant. I didn’t think they’d find a stupider name than Wii; I was wrong. Maybe I’m being harsh; perhaps it is unfair to judge something by name alone. There are plenty of things with dumb names that were able to overcome the adversity of said idiotic name; isn’t that right Anthony Weiner?

The Wife and I are going to the zoo tomorrow to watch all the ferocious beasts wonder about aimlessly, drooling over their food. With any luck we will see some actual wild animals too. I hate crowds. Get enough people together in one place and they all lose their minds. They all act like they are wondering alone in the desert; the desert effect. I’m just not much for getting bumped by the sweaty, hairy fat guy wearing a tank top. Tank tops are not for everyone; same goes for tube tops, mini skirts, flip flops, leggings, jeggings and tight cloths in general. I do love the irony of the zoo. Thousands of idiots meandering around sucking down ice cream and lard (getting fatter and fatter) watching animals that only eat for survival. Animals that could and would and maybe should tear those fatties to pieces. Some people say our progress as a civilization has allowed us to act this way. But what ever happened to survival of the fittest? Oh that’s right, socialism.

The new Jim Carry movie Mr. Poppers Penguins makes me want to vomit. So does that Collin Ferrell movie where he is a vampire. I’m so tired of vampires. None of these trailers are more annoying than “Never forget where you came from!!!” That’s not the name of the movie, but it’s the only part that really sticks with me. Apparently Colombiana (how do you pronounce that?) is about Uhura wanting to avenge the death of her parents. Never forget where you came from!!! It looks like along the way she’s going to hook up with that guy from Alias who seems to be playing a CIA agent, again. At some point she gets all sad about how “I watched as my parents were murdered right in front of me!” well cry more noob, Mr. Spock’s entire civilization was murdered in front of him and he barely shed a tear. Never forget where you came from!!! I bet he never forgot where he came from either; he didn’t seem to need it constantly screamed in his ear as a reminder. The intensity of the film looks only to be surpassed by the cheesiness of its dialog. Never forget where you came from!!! If you don’t get it, go watch the trailer here.

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