Saturday, May 28, 2011

E3 2011: A Wii Conversation

Welcome to week two our E3 2011 Preview. Here is a link to last weeks post if you were too lame to catch it then. This week Alex and I have a super serious conversation about the Wii. Prepare yourself for next weeks post when we unleash ourselves for full E3 madness. Okay we are going to talk about anything and everything. If you have any questions or comments please address them at the bottom of this post and we'll see abut getting you some info for next week. Enjoy!

Hobo Dan: So the first draft of this contained about fifteen Wii penis jokes. I cut them all because there were terrible, offensive and tiresome. Plus, I needed to leave something for Alex to talk about. So here we are just as promised to talk about E3 and in particular Nintendo at E3. If you live under communist rule and haven’t heard, the big N is going to officially announce their next console at the conference this year. On June 7 we will know what it’s called, what it does and potentially what games it may launch with. Many years ago I was a huge Nintendo fan. The Wii has turned me sour; that and years of forced labor in the sour patch kids mine. Yes, I have fallen away from Nintendo; but I do hold onto some hope. Hope my friends that Nintendo may just come to their senses and stop this crazy war on core gamers. I don’t use the word “hardcore” because there is a large difference between casual gamers who play Wii Sports and the other motion mini games, core gamers who play pretty much everything in moderation and HARDCORE gamers who are super elitist assholes. I just wanted to make that clear.

Alex: Okay, here are the Wii jokes. I just have to get this out of my system. Because I'm 12. The Wii is going to be backwards compatible with the original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). The amalgamated name will be the Wenis. It will have a camera on the controller so you can record yourself playing with your Wiinii. One of the Wiinii's launch titles will be Dibblenauts.

Other potential names:
Wii're Sold Out
Wii'll Release it Sometime
Wii Promise this One Wiill Be Better
Wii've Finally Got HD

Okay. I'm done. In all seriousness, the Wii 2 will not be called the Wiinii. "Ni" is the Japanese word for "two" but they would most likely use the katakana character for "tsu". That is if they even call it the Wii 2. Nintendo's naming process has always been. . . erratically coded. The Gamecube was originally called the Dolphin during production, and the Wii was originally called the Revolution. So for all we know it could be named Frank.

This next console generation could be interesting. With the Wii Nintendo basically printed money by pandering to casual gamers--leaving core and hardcore gamers out in the cold. The question is whether or not those people who shoved money at Nintendo last time will bother with the Wii 2. Most people I know with a Wii (casual, core, and hardcore gamers) say it does nothing but gather dust. There's a lot of areas Nintendo needs to improve on. Of course, this is a video game console so that's what we need--games.

How about 2 Zelda titles in the same console generation? Maybe a GOOD Star Fox or Metroid? MOAR FIRE EMBLEM PLZ! Keep it up with the 2D sidescrollers! New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Donkey Kong Country Returns, and Kirby's Epic Yarn were great games and great sellers. Make a 2D style Zelda or Metroid. Oh yeah, and encourage 3rd parties to develop games for once.

Hobo Dan: I think you pinned the tail on the Yoshi when you said they have to get third part developers on board. But haven’t we been saying this for years? If this new system is going to be graphically more powerful (or at least on par with) the PS3 and Xbox 360, then there is no reason third parties like EA and Activision can’t port their games to Wii. They already whore themselves out on the other two systems. I also think they need to convince, bribe or blackmail someone into making a Wii 2 exclusive; kind of like what Microsoft has done with Epic, the creators of Gears of War. Microsoft doesn’t own Epic, but they have an exclusive deal with them for Gears and it’s working out okay for both parties.

I am very interested to find out if this rumored six inch touch screen on the controller is factual. According to myth, it will be able to act as a touch control similar to the DS’s bottom screen. I might also be able to stream games from the Wii. So imagine your loving wife wants to watch Glee or some other blood curdling show and you want to play Wii. Well if this works the way I understand, you could play the system off the controller, freeing up the TV for her. Now that would be awesome. Others have suggested you’ll be able to take the controllers and load them up with small games to play while you’re away from the home system. I’m not too big on this idea because isn’t that the point of the DS and 3DS? Oh, don’t worry Wiimote wagglers, the old controllers from the Wii will work with the new system or at least that’s what the small house elves feeding me info say.

The most pressing issue for me is online play. If the new Wii isn’t at least on par with what Xbox has with Xbox Live, I won’t even consider buying it. There is no reason I shouldn’t be able to load up the new Smash Brothers, invite Alex to a chat group and play with him for mindless hours. NO REASON! It’s your ball Nintendo, don't be a dropper.

Alex: I imagine with all of the Big 3 now having some form of motion controls it would behoove more companies to make multi-platform motion games. All they'd have to do is tweak the controls between the three versions, as graphical differences is what kept a lot of games from going on the Wii in the first place. Assuming that Nintendo delivers on the HD promise, of course.

I'm hoping that if there is a screen on the controller it is used like the VMU on the Dreamcast (but they put more effort into it). Mini maps and menus would be great things to have down below to leave more room for visuals on the actual TV screen. As a rabid RPG player, I would LOVE touch screen controls to micromanage every bit of equipment and constantly view my stats.

Online play is a must now. I have some faith that Nintendo will step up on this front. The evolution of the dreaded friend code system (used on the Wii and DS) is becoming less of a hassle. For example, instead of having to type in a long FC, in Pokemon Black/White you can IR link your DSes and never have to type anything. I wouldn't be surprised if they dropped the FC all together and had a more organic user name system like Sony and Microsoft. Though this is Nintendo. . .

Here's what I know about the next console generation. I will buy the PS4. I don't know If I'll buy the Wii 2 or Xbox 720--or at least not at launch. Why? Well I'll want a new console, of course, but with so many games being cross platform now it comes down to exclusives. Nintendo always has the best first party titles, but I can wait to buy it when there's at least half a dozen titles I really want. Or Smash Bros. with actual internet play. Microsoft's first party games are all shooters--so I don't really give a damn. But what else can you expect from the only Western developed console. "Hurr, derr, guns go bang!" That leaves Sony. The Playstation's interface and controller have always felt better to me, so I'll go for what's comfortable. Also I'd much rather play God of War and Uncharted over Gears of War or Halolz any day.

Hobo Dan: Choosing my next gen system is going to be a real pain. I like them all and have pretty good reason for wanting each of them (assuming Nintendo doesn't screw it up, again). However, I see no end in sight to my poorness. I'll have to choose not only based on games but other entertainment features. Our Xbox is one of the most useful objects in our home. It does games, Netflix, Hulu and plays DVDs and washes my car and waxes my back. Nintendo is going to have to work pretty hard to convince me to switch back. I was raised on Nintendo games and systems. I love the characters and franchises. I really do have my fingers crossed for them to get it right.

1 comment:

  1. Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch...!