Saturday, May 7, 2011

Review: Thor

Number one complaint about Thor? I have a job and can’t get to a movie show time at seven or eight so I’m forced to see it in 3D at 9:40! Did you hear me? 3D!!!!!!! And guess what, I hated it even more than I thought I would. 3D sucks and now I’m speaking from experience! It actually made the picture quality of the film worse! How can you people watch this crap? I cannot wait to get this on Blu-ray so I can actually see just how beautiful it is. Oh, and talk about Highway robbery! You have to pay five extra dollars a ticket! I’m lucky I didn’t have to go to the ER after wearing the saw blades they were trying to pass off as glasses for two hours. My poor wife had to wear the horrible things over her glasses. The 3D effect itself is unimpressive and adds ZERO to the film. What a stupid gimmick. The first and last 3D film I will ever be seeing. The next time the only show time available is 3D, I’ll just go home.

The evening started great as we both got home from work and began to bicker over dinner locations and movie times. I failed to stave off the 3D showtime and dealt with it the best way I knew how; bitch about it constantly and become utterly bitter, not only towards the movie, but to everyone one I met as well. That in mind it was great to have dinner next to soulful voiced black guy talking very loudly about his love of the wine he was drinking. The perfect little hillbilly family behind us was awesome too. They kept going on and on about muffin tops and Korea. I was very confused. I also felt trapped in a strange gay love triangle as our male waiter and another across the room kept making eyes at each other. I kept getting caught in between these looks of passion. That was about the moment I stopped eating the bread sticks.

The movie itself was fantastic. It was fun and funny and just a great adventure. I've read some reviews from people complaining that the romance in the movie was rushed. They say it's unrealistic for Thor to foster a real relationship with Jane in basically the weekend he spends on Earth. To them I say: is that relationship less believable than the Norse God of Thunder traveling the cosmos on a rainbow bridge slaying frost giants as he wields a magical hammer so heavy only he can manage to carry it; yet somehow he can throw it at his enemies as if it's a boomerang? Some people are just looking for things to pick at; says the pot. Iron Man 2 was good and this was way better. The Avengers is starting to look better and better. Also remember to stay after the credits for super nerd-gasim fun. My wife even had one!

No comments:

Post a Comment