Sorry about the slow September everyone. We at Dump have been super busy with the Mothman 5k. Now that that's over, it’s time for us to get back to our normal ranting.
As a programming note, coming in October we will be on vacation and will be doing daily mini blogs like last year. Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party included! We are kicking around the idea of posting some videos from the trip as well! Just what you all need, video of me being grumpy.
While we pull ourselves together this week, why don’t you all throw some suggestions in the comments for things we should write about in the coming months? Obviously we plan to see our fair share of movies, but what else would you like to see filling the blog on a weekly basis? Do any of you support the idea of a video blog (V-log) from us?
Showing posts with label Vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vacation. Show all posts
Monday, September 17, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Zoo and Baseball
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| Rhino! |
The Wife: On the 5th, we headed to the Columbus Zoo! Our annual zoo trip has become a summer tradition for us. Unlike last year, Google Directions didn’t cause a rage fest to occur and we made it to the zoo in perfect time without getting lost in the greater Columbus area. Boom! This may have been the hottest it’s ever been at the zoo as temperatures peaked over 100 that afternoon. Thanks Global Warming or Manbear Pig!? I am waiting for Al Gore to rescue us by taking this summer heat wave down to a breezy 75 degrees.
Complaining aside, the heat really didn’t bother us, and the day went swimmingly. Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! We got excellent views of some animals we never see and I was able to get some fantastic pictures. Other than witnessing a giant brown bear stare me down through the glass as he took a massive poop and seeing the male elephant try to mount the female elephant multiple times, the animals were great! I appreciate Jack Hanna’s work at the Columbus Zoo to make it different from run-of-the-mill zoos. The animals at the Columbus Zoo thrive in a more natural habitat setting and the zoo has taken efforts to protect endangered species. They deserve kudos!
Hobo Dan: Melvin the elephant steps up to the plate and takes a few practice swings. The crowd roars in excitement, and because they are all lions. A few nervous Zebras in the upper deck whisper about steroids use and the Hall of Fame. Melvin ignores it all, he is in the zone. The pitcher, a tall orangutan named Muffins checks first base and waits for the signal from his catcher. Fast ball, down the middle is the call. Muffins winds up and lets it fly. Melvin tenses and then swings... What, huh? Sorry, I took one look at the name of the post and started writing.
This has been a seriously hot week! I think it went to my head. What better way to cure the heat illness? Go walk around outside at the zoo! The animals had the right idea. "Lets sleep in the shade." If aliens do visit this planet, what are the chances they see us as the most intelligent species? We are always out running around in inclement weather (sun bathing, skiing), attempting stupid stunts (sky diving, ramping anything off of anything, every event at the Winter Olympics) and generally engaging in meaningless, unfulfilling activities (Facebook, waiting in line, E!, video games, blogging). These animals have it right. If it's hot, sleep. If it's cold, go inside a cave and sleep. Hungry? Caribou anyone?
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| Inside PNC Park: Pittsburgh, PA. Go Buccos! |
The Wife: Friday and Saturday served as “staycation” days, although we did manage to drag ourselves out of the house once to see The Amazing Spider-Man! Sunday we enjoyed America ’s favorite past time as we ventured to PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates, for a baseball game. PNC Park is absolutely gorgeous and is known to be one of the most attractive ball parks. Other than the scorching heat, it too, was a great day as the Pirates smashed the San Francisco Giants winning 13-2! Us Pirates fans have had a rough 19 years, so it’s been great to see this team doing well, and being there to witness such a great win was awesome. Go Buccos!
Below our some pictures from our travels:
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| Snake ssssss! Attempted Parseltongue and it posed. Lol Harry Potter FTW! |
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| Gorillas are so cool |
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| Adorable baby gorilla |
Blog Note: As you know we have been doing some updates to the blog. Most recently we updated the About Dump and Relay tabs at the top of the page. Check them out!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
2012 Survival Guide
With 2012 bringing the apocalypse, I thought I’d put together a list of survival gear I find vital to living post 2012. I will remind you this list is only helpful if you actually manage to survive the initial destruction. If the end comes at the hands of a giant rouge planet or meteor smashing into Earth, this list is utterly useless. Also bear in mind you need to be smart enough to use these items. You have one year to gather and learn, good luck!
Remote Underground Survival Habitat: Your R.U.S.H. is vital to living through the 2012 Armageddon. It is a safe, warm place to kick up your heels and laugh as all the nonbelievers suffer terrible, indescribable deaths.
Water: A few months supply should get you through the onset of the end times. A good filtration system will stretch it out even longer; just don’t expect me to drink your disgusting urine water.
Food: Spam, freeze dried meats and fruits, Tang, jerky, canned goods, artificial sweeteners, powdered milk, imitation eggs, facon (fake bacon), McDonald’s French Fries; all these things will keep forever, just don’t forget the cyanide capsules for when you’ve had enough.
Clothes: The chances that the apocalypse results in a tropical, united utopian nudist colony are very very slim. Bring layers.
Weapons: I'm not hot on guns. Guns require ammo. Ammo runs out and you're left with a bludgeoning weapon at best. Take a note from The Walking Dead and get a cross bow! Or get creative and make your own tool for hunting/self defense. My head is spinning with ideas born from my office cubical; the deadly pencil cross bow! If the initial projectile doesn't get them, the lead poisoning will! Knives and swords are also good, but they make hunting particularly difficult; not impossible, just difficult. You ever try to run down a deer carrying an official movie replica of Aragorn's sword, Narsil? Didn't think so...
Companions: As much fun as Apple's Siri is, when shit goes down, she can't carry her weight. Get some people together and choose a rally point for when things go south. Store some of your crap there. Bring cookies.
Intelligence: Lets face it, the end of the world is really just a giant survival of the fittest event and some of you aren't going to make the cut.
Musical Instruments: Keeping sprits high is always important. However, the guy that brings his recorder from sixth grade should be shot on site.
Duct Tape: Seriously stock-pile this stuff! Have you even seen Mythbusters? They made a boat and a plane out of Duct Tape. Come on people!
Solar Powered Crap: If it’s solar powered it’s gold, unless of course the sun is blocked by devastating nuclear winter or volcanic ash or terrible storms or you’re forced to live underground in some sort of cave or you can only go outside at night. Hmmmm, now that I think about it, don’t let collecting them take up too much of your time.
Rope: Rope, in the hands of the properly trained person, is almost as useful as Duck Tape. But, if you’ve gathered three miles worth of rope for the end times, and don’t even know how to tie a square knot, then all you really have is three miles of rope to hang yourself with. Wait; check that, you won’t know how to tie a noose either.
A Calculator: Because I didn’t pay nearly enough attention in math class. Did you?
An Aluminum Trash Can: Put this in the basement with a radio and batteries and any other electronic devices you’d like to keep around inside of it. In the event of huge solar flair or massive EMP attack, the can will protect these items from destruction. Good luck finding a decent radio station to listen to.
A Bug Out Bag: Contains Off Bug Spray, citronella candles, matches, bug nets. Keep in mind nuclear fallout could mutate the bugs to unreasonable sizes. If you believe this actuality is likely, also include DVD copy of Starship Troopers for training in large bug extermination.
DVD Player: How else do you plan on watching Starship Troopers?
Metallica’s Black Album: At some point you will have to make your final stand against the forces of evil in the brutal post-2012 world, wouldn’t you like to do so with a proper soundtrack?
Scuba Gear: Particularly if you live east of the Appalachian Mountains or west of the Rocky Mountains and it's a glacial melt situation.
A Doctor: You probably don’t have time to go to med school, so convince a Doctor to come live in your R.U.S.H. until at least February 1, 2013. Bend the definition of the word “convince” if necessary.
Pie Making Materials: Who wants to live in a world without pie?
A Clock: Seriously, the clock we keep in our living room died a few weeks ago. I am so disoriented. When should I eat or sleep? This sun dial isn't compatible with my energy saving light bulbs for some reason.
Remote Underground Survival Habitat: Your R.U.S.H. is vital to living through the 2012 Armageddon. It is a safe, warm place to kick up your heels and laugh as all the nonbelievers suffer terrible, indescribable deaths.
Water: A few months supply should get you through the onset of the end times. A good filtration system will stretch it out even longer; just don’t expect me to drink your disgusting urine water.
Food: Spam, freeze dried meats and fruits, Tang, jerky, canned goods, artificial sweeteners, powdered milk, imitation eggs, facon (fake bacon), McDonald’s French Fries; all these things will keep forever, just don’t forget the cyanide capsules for when you’ve had enough.
Clothes: The chances that the apocalypse results in a tropical, united utopian nudist colony are very very slim. Bring layers.
Weapons: I'm not hot on guns. Guns require ammo. Ammo runs out and you're left with a bludgeoning weapon at best. Take a note from The Walking Dead and get a cross bow! Or get creative and make your own tool for hunting/self defense. My head is spinning with ideas born from my office cubical; the deadly pencil cross bow! If the initial projectile doesn't get them, the lead poisoning will! Knives and swords are also good, but they make hunting particularly difficult; not impossible, just difficult. You ever try to run down a deer carrying an official movie replica of Aragorn's sword, Narsil? Didn't think so...
Companions: As much fun as Apple's Siri is, when shit goes down, she can't carry her weight. Get some people together and choose a rally point for when things go south. Store some of your crap there. Bring cookies.
Intelligence: Lets face it, the end of the world is really just a giant survival of the fittest event and some of you aren't going to make the cut.
Musical Instruments: Keeping sprits high is always important. However, the guy that brings his recorder from sixth grade should be shot on site.
Duct Tape: Seriously stock-pile this stuff! Have you even seen Mythbusters? They made a boat and a plane out of Duct Tape. Come on people!
Solar Powered Crap: If it’s solar powered it’s gold, unless of course the sun is blocked by devastating nuclear winter or volcanic ash or terrible storms or you’re forced to live underground in some sort of cave or you can only go outside at night. Hmmmm, now that I think about it, don’t let collecting them take up too much of your time.
Rope: Rope, in the hands of the properly trained person, is almost as useful as Duck Tape. But, if you’ve gathered three miles worth of rope for the end times, and don’t even know how to tie a square knot, then all you really have is three miles of rope to hang yourself with. Wait; check that, you won’t know how to tie a noose either.
A Calculator: Because I didn’t pay nearly enough attention in math class. Did you?
An Aluminum Trash Can: Put this in the basement with a radio and batteries and any other electronic devices you’d like to keep around inside of it. In the event of huge solar flair or massive EMP attack, the can will protect these items from destruction. Good luck finding a decent radio station to listen to.
A Bug Out Bag: Contains Off Bug Spray, citronella candles, matches, bug nets. Keep in mind nuclear fallout could mutate the bugs to unreasonable sizes. If you believe this actuality is likely, also include DVD copy of Starship Troopers for training in large bug extermination.
DVD Player: How else do you plan on watching Starship Troopers?
Metallica’s Black Album: At some point you will have to make your final stand against the forces of evil in the brutal post-2012 world, wouldn’t you like to do so with a proper soundtrack?
Scuba Gear: Particularly if you live east of the Appalachian Mountains or west of the Rocky Mountains and it's a glacial melt situation.
A Doctor: You probably don’t have time to go to med school, so convince a Doctor to come live in your R.U.S.H. until at least February 1, 2013. Bend the definition of the word “convince” if necessary.
Pie Making Materials: Who wants to live in a world without pie?
A Clock: Seriously, the clock we keep in our living room died a few weeks ago. I am so disoriented. When should I eat or sleep? This sun dial isn't compatible with my energy saving light bulbs for some reason.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
2011 Dump Family Vacation: Recap
We had this magnificent blog post prepared for you all to read. Then an unholy crap storm stuck down upon us from the heavens and deleted 90% of what was written. An argument of massive proportions erupted between the the Wife and myself over who's fault this might have been. I lost. Here is our best effort after the argument and my subsequent punishment. I believe she's going to make me see The Smurfs movie to atone for my sins.
The Wife: For our first day spent in Florida, we ventured out of the Disney area to the land of wands, magic and spells. Yes, we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. Including this recent trip, I have been to Disney seven times, but I have never been to Universal. I stand by my word that Disney is better, but the Harry Potterness makes the trip to Universal worth it. In the mini blog (and a recent paragraph that was deleted by incorrect use of the space bar... NOT BY ME!) I discussed the park experience in detail. I refuse to write about all of that again, but I will highlight my favorites. For one, I cried when I first laid eyes upon the Hogwarts Castle. It was breathtaking! I got to experience everything I wanted to at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I had butterbeer and pumpkin juice, which were both delicious, visited all of the Hogsmeade shops, where I purchased the famous Harry Potter chocolate frog in the Honeydukes shop. Each frog contains a trading card like from the books (only you get one of the four house leaders not the Dumbledore card). I got the Rowena Ravenclaw card, not my favorite, but I'll take it! We also saw Hagrid's Hut and visited the Ollivander's Wand Show, which was awesome, even though I should have been picked to receive the free wand instead of that little kid! I had an amazing meal at The Three Broomsticks as well, which looks exactly like the movie!
Our favorite ride was Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey, a simulator type ride located within the castle. The Harry Potter actors recorded scenes for the ride, which uses both screen movement technology mixed with animatronics. During the ride, you fly over the castle and Quidditch field as well as encounter spiders and the evil dementors. I can't tell if the husband was amused or embarrassed when I shouted "expecto patronum!" at the dementors. Winning! The ride line queue was even epic as you toured the castle, saw the greenhouse, moving portraits, Dumbledore's office, the entrance to Gryffindor and of course, the famous sorting hat! It is one of the coolest rides I have ever been on, but if you choose to ride this, be sure to pop a dramamine if you are prone to motion sickness!
Basically the attention to detail spent at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, whether it be on the Hogsmeade shops or the Hogwarts castle, is amazing. If you are a true Harry Potter fan, like me, this is a must see. I made a vow last summer when the park opened that I would go in 2011, but I never really thought it would happen. Needless to say I was quite a happy little muggle wannabe Gryffindor during my time at the park. I already anticipate my next trip! If only I could take the Hogwarts Express to get there!
(Here is a paragraph that was not deleted! Hooray!) Well we can't wrap this re-cap post without actually talking about Disney. As usual it was a great time. I know we got lots of exercise walking around the parks each day too. We visited the core four parks: Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom. I can never pick a favorite park as I love them all. I really like the rides at Hollywood Studios, but I also really enjoy Epcot — a park that has become more fun to me now that I am older. The Animal Kingdom has one of my favorite Disney rides, Expedition Everest, so I like it too. Of course, The Magic Kingdom will always hold a special place in my heart as it is the symbol of all things Disney. It has Cinderella's Castle and my beloved rides, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion and my favorite of all the attractions, Splash Mountain! Sporting my Minnie Ears, each day at Disney was awesome. Sure it was hot, but it didn't matter because we were in Disney, duh! My favorite part of Disney was our character dinner experience at The Garden Grill in Epcot. Along with amazing food (best meal of the trip!) we got to be kids again and meet Chip, Dale, Pluto and of course, Mickey! I loved taking pictures with the characters and was just as excited as any child in the restaurant. I also loved that I finally tried the famous Dole Whip at Disney. It was worth the hype. My favorite evening of the trip was spent at Hollywood Studios, where I munched on the famous Mickey Ice Cream Bar and watched the "Fantasmic!" show. Fantasmic was great and is easily the best of all the Disney Park shows! If you are a lover of all things Disney and grew up watching all the classic movies, this is a must see show!
I already miss Disney. I am very much a type-A personality and tend to be stressed constantly. In Disney, I was never stressed. It is the most relaxed I have been in quite sometime. I love how at Disney you can temporarily re-visit the carefree days of childhood. I have spent holidays, birthdays and even my honeymoon at Disney. Needless to say, I can't wait to return to "The Happiest Place on Earth!"
On an unrelated note to the husband, I look forward to seeing The Smurfs!
Hobo Dan: So yeah, Disney is awesome. This coming from the guy who hates lines, large crowds, noise and general tomfoolery. They also make it so easy to see and do everything thanks to the easy pass that allows you to go to any park any time you're there. Not to mention the giant Lego store at Downtown Disney. I'd say MGM... I mean Hollywood Studios is probably my favorite park. It has great rides including the recently revamped Star Tours ride. Now you can ride it over and over and get different rides every time. I think someone said there are 50 different combinations for the ride. If you like Star Wars, go ride it. Hollywood Studios also has the best other rides (outside Expedition Everest).
I also can't write about Disney without mentioning The Magic Kingdom. It was really fun too, other than watching a girl puke her guts out right beside me in the line for Space Mountain. What is really awesome is the new part of Fantasyland they are working on for 2012. They are building the castle from Beauty and the Beast. Sweet. Epcot is also really cool and has the best food. Even when people are walking around pronouncing it Ep-i-cot. I love when people add letters to words.
What's this? A paragraph back from the grave from our original post. I had it saved in my email: Apparently July is Brazil month at Disney (it actually is). During the month every annoying teenager in the country uproots and travels to Florida to haunt my dreams. The encounter starts innocently enough; small over the horizon your eye caches a glimpse of a flag or inflated marker of some type. As it closes in you realize the flag is surrounded by a sea of kids wearing matching, brightly colored T-shirts. Before you know it they are on you. They are the mob, the swarm, there is no escaping their destruction. As one of our bus drivers put it: “When you see that flag, run the other way.” Being from Brazil, they obviously speak Portuguese; a language no one else speaks. I guess there is no word for line in Portuguese because they can’t comprehend what one is or how to wait in one. Single file? Screw that, they mass around the entrance, pushing their way in. They have no problem pressing themselves against one another or you. In the hot July sun and humidity this only served to make me miserable and irritable. I guess in Brazil they test structural integrity by mindlessly beating on something until it falls over or they tire. Since they never tire the pounding goes on endlessly until the line moves past what ever object they felt the need to test out. In this case a door adorned with marbles. It made a super awesome noise when they bashed their hands onto it. It’s probably good we were in a confined space. If I’d had room to swing my fists I’d probably be in jail right now.
The Wife: I should mention quickly, since my post about this magnificent man got deleted due to aforementioned misuse of the spacebar, that we did encounter king of the rednecks while in line for The Tower of Terror at Hollywood Studios. This man also wasn't fond of the Brazilians and he felt the need to loudly proclaim that he wanted to "smack 'em in the mouth." He also gave us fun facts about how Disney rents out the parks for two weeks for a fee of $20,000. First of all that would be super cheap to have Disney all to yourself, and secondly, um no, pretty sure they don't completely close parks for two weeks just to rent them out to groups. They don't even close the park for celebrities! He also leaned over my shoulder and played 20 questions about my blackberry. I was never so relieved to get on a plummeting elevator!
Hobo Dan: Next time we go on vacation and choose to write about it I'll make sure I learn to properly use the keyboard so another deletion situation does not arise.
So there you have it, our 2011 Dump Family Vacation! Now here are some pictures for your enjoyment:
Our hotel, Disney's Coronado Springs Resort
Hogwarts Castle!
Big 'ole rhino at Animal Kingdom! The Wife could have reached out and touched this cutie!
Cinderella's Castle!
The Wife: For our first day spent in Florida, we ventured out of the Disney area to the land of wands, magic and spells. Yes, we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. Including this recent trip, I have been to Disney seven times, but I have never been to Universal. I stand by my word that Disney is better, but the Harry Potterness makes the trip to Universal worth it. In the mini blog (and a recent paragraph that was deleted by incorrect use of the space bar... NOT BY ME!) I discussed the park experience in detail. I refuse to write about all of that again, but I will highlight my favorites. For one, I cried when I first laid eyes upon the Hogwarts Castle. It was breathtaking! I got to experience everything I wanted to at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I had butterbeer and pumpkin juice, which were both delicious, visited all of the Hogsmeade shops, where I purchased the famous Harry Potter chocolate frog in the Honeydukes shop. Each frog contains a trading card like from the books (only you get one of the four house leaders not the Dumbledore card). I got the Rowena Ravenclaw card, not my favorite, but I'll take it! We also saw Hagrid's Hut and visited the Ollivander's Wand Show, which was awesome, even though I should have been picked to receive the free wand instead of that little kid! I had an amazing meal at The Three Broomsticks as well, which looks exactly like the movie!
Our favorite ride was Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey, a simulator type ride located within the castle. The Harry Potter actors recorded scenes for the ride, which uses both screen movement technology mixed with animatronics. During the ride, you fly over the castle and Quidditch field as well as encounter spiders and the evil dementors. I can't tell if the husband was amused or embarrassed when I shouted "expecto patronum!" at the dementors. Winning! The ride line queue was even epic as you toured the castle, saw the greenhouse, moving portraits, Dumbledore's office, the entrance to Gryffindor and of course, the famous sorting hat! It is one of the coolest rides I have ever been on, but if you choose to ride this, be sure to pop a dramamine if you are prone to motion sickness!
Basically the attention to detail spent at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, whether it be on the Hogsmeade shops or the Hogwarts castle, is amazing. If you are a true Harry Potter fan, like me, this is a must see. I made a vow last summer when the park opened that I would go in 2011, but I never really thought it would happen. Needless to say I was quite a happy little muggle wannabe Gryffindor during my time at the park. I already anticipate my next trip! If only I could take the Hogwarts Express to get there!
(Here is a paragraph that was not deleted! Hooray!) Well we can't wrap this re-cap post without actually talking about Disney. As usual it was a great time. I know we got lots of exercise walking around the parks each day too. We visited the core four parks: Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom. I can never pick a favorite park as I love them all. I really like the rides at Hollywood Studios, but I also really enjoy Epcot — a park that has become more fun to me now that I am older. The Animal Kingdom has one of my favorite Disney rides, Expedition Everest, so I like it too. Of course, The Magic Kingdom will always hold a special place in my heart as it is the symbol of all things Disney. It has Cinderella's Castle and my beloved rides, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion and my favorite of all the attractions, Splash Mountain! Sporting my Minnie Ears, each day at Disney was awesome. Sure it was hot, but it didn't matter because we were in Disney, duh! My favorite part of Disney was our character dinner experience at The Garden Grill in Epcot. Along with amazing food (best meal of the trip!) we got to be kids again and meet Chip, Dale, Pluto and of course, Mickey! I loved taking pictures with the characters and was just as excited as any child in the restaurant. I also loved that I finally tried the famous Dole Whip at Disney. It was worth the hype. My favorite evening of the trip was spent at Hollywood Studios, where I munched on the famous Mickey Ice Cream Bar and watched the "Fantasmic!" show. Fantasmic was great and is easily the best of all the Disney Park shows! If you are a lover of all things Disney and grew up watching all the classic movies, this is a must see show!
I already miss Disney. I am very much a type-A personality and tend to be stressed constantly. In Disney, I was never stressed. It is the most relaxed I have been in quite sometime. I love how at Disney you can temporarily re-visit the carefree days of childhood. I have spent holidays, birthdays and even my honeymoon at Disney. Needless to say, I can't wait to return to "The Happiest Place on Earth!"
On an unrelated note to the husband, I look forward to seeing The Smurfs!
Hobo Dan: So yeah, Disney is awesome. This coming from the guy who hates lines, large crowds, noise and general tomfoolery. They also make it so easy to see and do everything thanks to the easy pass that allows you to go to any park any time you're there. Not to mention the giant Lego store at Downtown Disney. I'd say MGM... I mean Hollywood Studios is probably my favorite park. It has great rides including the recently revamped Star Tours ride. Now you can ride it over and over and get different rides every time. I think someone said there are 50 different combinations for the ride. If you like Star Wars, go ride it. Hollywood Studios also has the best other rides (outside Expedition Everest).
I also can't write about Disney without mentioning The Magic Kingdom. It was really fun too, other than watching a girl puke her guts out right beside me in the line for Space Mountain. What is really awesome is the new part of Fantasyland they are working on for 2012. They are building the castle from Beauty and the Beast. Sweet. Epcot is also really cool and has the best food. Even when people are walking around pronouncing it Ep-i-cot. I love when people add letters to words.
What's this? A paragraph back from the grave from our original post. I had it saved in my email: Apparently July is Brazil month at Disney (it actually is). During the month every annoying teenager in the country uproots and travels to Florida to haunt my dreams. The encounter starts innocently enough; small over the horizon your eye caches a glimpse of a flag or inflated marker of some type. As it closes in you realize the flag is surrounded by a sea of kids wearing matching, brightly colored T-shirts. Before you know it they are on you. They are the mob, the swarm, there is no escaping their destruction. As one of our bus drivers put it: “When you see that flag, run the other way.” Being from Brazil, they obviously speak Portuguese; a language no one else speaks. I guess there is no word for line in Portuguese because they can’t comprehend what one is or how to wait in one. Single file? Screw that, they mass around the entrance, pushing their way in. They have no problem pressing themselves against one another or you. In the hot July sun and humidity this only served to make me miserable and irritable. I guess in Brazil they test structural integrity by mindlessly beating on something until it falls over or they tire. Since they never tire the pounding goes on endlessly until the line moves past what ever object they felt the need to test out. In this case a door adorned with marbles. It made a super awesome noise when they bashed their hands onto it. It’s probably good we were in a confined space. If I’d had room to swing my fists I’d probably be in jail right now.
The Wife: I should mention quickly, since my post about this magnificent man got deleted due to aforementioned misuse of the spacebar, that we did encounter king of the rednecks while in line for The Tower of Terror at Hollywood Studios. This man also wasn't fond of the Brazilians and he felt the need to loudly proclaim that he wanted to "smack 'em in the mouth." He also gave us fun facts about how Disney rents out the parks for two weeks for a fee of $20,000. First of all that would be super cheap to have Disney all to yourself, and secondly, um no, pretty sure they don't completely close parks for two weeks just to rent them out to groups. They don't even close the park for celebrities! He also leaned over my shoulder and played 20 questions about my blackberry. I was never so relieved to get on a plummeting elevator!
Hobo Dan: Next time we go on vacation and choose to write about it I'll make sure I learn to properly use the keyboard so another deletion situation does not arise.
So there you have it, our 2011 Dump Family Vacation! Now here are some pictures for your enjoyment:
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monkey Butt
I'm tired now, and have to take over driving soon. See you Monday.
The Wife: I am tired. I love and miss Disney. Can't wait to see my puppy boy though. Will write more later. K, thanks, bye!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
When Strollers Attack!
I had no idea Disney was so dangerous. Today, for instance, I almost had my foot cut off by a baby stroller. The razor blade sharp front end maimed my left ankle. My foot is holding on by a few tendons. I hope I don't need surgery to repair my broken soul. I think it's time to start requiring special license and training to operate those things. I'm not just thinking of myself here; kids have to ride in those death traps. The least we could do is make sure idiots aren't driving them. Then again maybe those idiots shouldn't be breeding either.
Wow today was hot. I know it's Florida in July, what should I expect? The wind just stopped and we baked like cake. Then we decided to take a boat ride in a floating oven. Throw on some salt and pair me with a nice wine and you have a damn fine meal. But seriously it has been a great trip.
The Wife: My legs are killing me and I have a ginormous blister on my toe (and yes, I wore tennis shoes not flip flops!). Despite my injuries and the husband's near death experience with a stroller (see above) today was of course fun because it is Disney...the Happiest Place on Earth and my most favorite place ever! Seriously you weirdos that don't like Disney creep me out! Sure the parks get crowded but whatever...it's Disney! Most line areas are even themed (unlike regular amusement parks) so the wait never seems long!
This trip we've been pretty lucky with very little waits too, especially for July, which we have discovered really is Brazil month. I am all for diversity and culture, but seriously these massive Brazil groups don't get what a line is and just mass together. At one point I thought they formed a black hole around us and that I would never see my beloved Mickey again!
Other than the heat (duh it's Florida people who come here in July and gripe about being hot must be idiots) and the scary stampede of Brazilians, today was a lot of fun. We toured the world at Epcot and ventured to Hollywood Studios again, where we rode the Rockin' Roller Coaster and had some winning-good popcorn.
Closing the day was a trip to Magic Kingdom, the focal point of all Disney Parks! Here we dined at a restaurant based on the one from Lady and the Tramp (do kids today even know that movie?) and then rode all the classic rides: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and of course my favorite, Splash Mountain!
Oh and I should mention that we finally tried the famous pineapple "Dole Whips" and I must say they are worth the hype!
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
...And Star Tours is Awesome!
Today we began our adventure with some wild fun at Animal Kingdom. Battled a Yeti on Expedition Everest (one of my top fav rides in all of Disney) and had some fun in an African Safari. Got some great animal pics (except for when my camera once again decided to be hateful when I tried to get an elephant pic...don't worry I got a cute baby elephant pic despite my cameras random rage quits) that we will post later. We also saw Nemo the Musical! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!
And the best part of today was our dinner at Epcot. We ate at the Garden Grill Restaurant and along with the amazingly good food, we were joined by Pluto (who seriously loved me and came by to see me like 10 times), Chip, Dale and the man of honor himself, MICKEY! I was as excited as the four year olds in the restaurant. You can be a kid again at Disney, which is great considering the stressed out adult lives we lead!
We closed today with Mickey ice cream and the Fantasmic Show at Hollywood Studios. Also rode some rides thanks to the winning power of extra magic hours.
And a Star Tours is awesome!
Hobo Dan: When large crowds get together, they love to rejoice in their shared stupidity by doing the wave. An internationally recognized sign that we are all idiots. Why would Aliens in search of other intelligent life come here. I'm pretty sure if Aliens are real, they are more like Independence Day.
Pluto the dog really liked my wife. He kissed her and hugged her and even copped a feel. Then he crapped on the floor of the restaurant and I got to rub his nose in it; so he got what was coming.
I guess the USA is the only country in the world with lines. That is the only explanation as to why foreigners have no idea what to do or how to act when in them. They believe the best way to get to the destination is to mass around it and crowd in until everyone else just gets out of the way. I guess it's just because their afraid it won't be there if they don't hurry? Fear not foreigners, this is America, we've got our shit together when it comes to entertaining distractions from important matters; haven't you played Angry Birds?
And Star Tours is Awesome!
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
You're A Wizard Harry
The Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey Ride is one of the most amazing rides I have ever been on. I screamed, casted my patronus spell when the Dementors attacked and basically was in fangirl heaven. Spiders attack at one point and I did Ron's "can we panic now?" Quote from HP and The Chamber of Secrets! For once in our marriage, today I was the nerdiest Roush! Before Flight of the Hippogriff (rollercoaster) I even bowed at Buckbeak and the Universal employees told me good job. I am the coolest!
Basically the HP Park was a dream come true. Even the bathrooms were awesome thanks to Moaning Myrtle. If you love HP, you must come here! Experience of a lifetime! Sooo sorry if this post wasn't the funniest, but I had to fangirl blog. (Along with HP I also got my pic taken with CYCLOPS from X-Men!) I am sure the hubs has some funny musings below!
Hobo Dan: Crotch fondling Mexican kid please stop. I understand adjustments are needed on occasion but you're putting on a tease show in the middle of the lobby with Mickey watching and everything. Chill kid you can't be too rough with that equipment.
Did you guys hear we went to the Harry Potter park today? I'm sorry the Wife under sold it so much. It really was pretty cool. Question: does something called butterbeer sound like a good idea when it is 95 outside and the suns beating down on you? Butterbeer was a bad choice. Yeah it was good, but after 30 minutes it started curling in my stomach; it was a fun time. It was also pretty funny to see my wife shouting HP spells at the creatures on the ride. She can never make fun of me for light saber fighting again.
Attention fat people on scooters: drive into the ocean. If you have a real excuse to use that thing (fat shouldn't count) then at least learn how to drive it. Also avoid the super narrow aisles in all the stores, you're going to get stuck and I'm not pulling your ass out. That about sums it all up.
Stay tuned for more coverage tomorrow! Visiting Disney parks!
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Saturday, July 9, 2011
We Love Disney Sandwiches
The Wife: We are finally at Disney, my favorite place in the whole world and of course "The Happiest Place on Earth!" We arrived at our Disney Resort this evening and it has already been awesome. I seriously love being told to "have a magical day" constantly. And our hotel, which is kind of southwest/mexican themed is beautiful! To top it off it even comes with our very own hilariously entertaining Guatemalan soccer team. See above post for details!
Also, as Daniel mentioned...the sandwiches. Earl of Sandwich at downtown Disney is almost worth the trip here all by itself. Disney even makes food taste better!
The trip here was pretty smooth even with my intense fear of flying. The children behind me didn't help my nerves by shouting "we are gonna fly to space...or crash!" Thanks kid. The same kids also felt the need to kick my seat multiple times. It didn't matter though cause I was on my way to Disney!
Tomorrow we will venture to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! Be ready for an uber nerdfest!
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Thursday, July 7, 2011
2011 Dump Family Vacation
You’re reading the title right, they are letting us out for a week to go on vacation. Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol? The Wife and I are heading down to Florida to visit Walt Disney World and also The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal. Pause for a moment and listen; yes that is the blood curdling scream of my wife's anticipation (she does that every time I mention the Harry Potter Park.) See there it was again! But we aren’t going to leave you fine folks out in the cold for a week. Matching Gryffindor t-shirts and all we will be venturing into the parks with our phones ready to update you at first sight of furries.
Our goal is to post a mini blog once at day starting on Saturday (probably in the evening time). These mini blogs will be bigger than a tweet, but smaller than our normal posts. If you don't know what a tweet is or how long one usually is then go find out for yourself. Gosh, you expect me to tell you everything? We hope to include pictures as well, assuming we can get the technology to work with us. Also be sure to follow each of us on twitter for little ninja comments. I may or may not be taking random, bizarre, gross, disturbing, misleading and hilarious pictures and tweeting them, so follow us to find out. @Dumptheblog for me and @lilrunner for the Wife! Seriously people, get with the times and pick up a twitter account.
Fear not, we will return the week after with a vengeance. On Monday, July 18 we will drop our thoughts about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (did you hear that scream again) and the week after on the 25th we will be getting down to the tune of Captain America! Also on Thursday, July 21 we will be giving a full recap of our vacation adventure. After that, it's August and summer is almost over *sad clown face*. August does bring rumblings of my 2011 Fall Movie Preview and small on the horizon, the 2011 Mothman Festival in September! The Wife and I put on a 5k race for it and everything! It's going to be an exciting end to the summer and I'll be blogging my heart out all along the way. If you're keeping track this is seven solid months of posting from me and no sight of slowing down.
Comment below if you have any requests or suggestions of things we should see or do and report back on while in Orlando. If anyone knows where I can find large signs or objects that are easily taken out of context I'll be very grateful.
Our goal is to post a mini blog once at day starting on Saturday (probably in the evening time). These mini blogs will be bigger than a tweet, but smaller than our normal posts. If you don't know what a tweet is or how long one usually is then go find out for yourself. Gosh, you expect me to tell you everything? We hope to include pictures as well, assuming we can get the technology to work with us. Also be sure to follow each of us on twitter for little ninja comments. I may or may not be taking random, bizarre, gross, disturbing, misleading and hilarious pictures and tweeting them, so follow us to find out. @Dumptheblog for me and @lilrunner for the Wife! Seriously people, get with the times and pick up a twitter account.
Fear not, we will return the week after with a vengeance. On Monday, July 18 we will drop our thoughts about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (did you hear that scream again) and the week after on the 25th we will be getting down to the tune of Captain America! Also on Thursday, July 21 we will be giving a full recap of our vacation adventure. After that, it's August and summer is almost over *sad clown face*. August does bring rumblings of my 2011 Fall Movie Preview and small on the horizon, the 2011 Mothman Festival in September! The Wife and I put on a 5k race for it and everything! It's going to be an exciting end to the summer and I'll be blogging my heart out all along the way. If you're keeping track this is seven solid months of posting from me and no sight of slowing down.
Comment below if you have any requests or suggestions of things we should see or do and report back on while in Orlando. If anyone knows where I can find large signs or objects that are easily taken out of context I'll be very grateful.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Zoo Trip
What do you get when you put two people together that are both hot, hungry and annoyed? My Wife and I this past weekend at the Columbus Zoo! Sometimes we combine our powers and form a super ball of anger. Sometimes our powers clash and we turn on one another. In either of these situations the result is a fairly entertained blog post, at least for you. For me? Blood pressure medicine.
So we hadn’t even reached the zoo before the world took a big’ol dump right on our heads. And by world I mean Google Maps, and by dump I mean it gave us totally wrong directions. No, I do not mean confusing directions. I also do not mean out of the way directions. I mean that it took us to the wrong place. Google Maps said stop here and guess what, there was no zoo. We spent the next hour trying to figure out where we were and how to get to the zoo from there. I may have had one or two or five screaming freak outs where I needlessly pounded on the steering wheel and cursed Google and their so called maps. But that is just a rumor; you should know better than to believe everything you read on a blog. So we called mom to help us find our way. She started looking and then asked if I had a pen. When I answered no she could not believe it. So she asked again. Still no pen, mom. It was unbelievable to her that I didn't have a pen. Lost in the largest city in Ohio and she got stuck on lack of pen?
Well as you may have guessed, we did find the zoo; about an hour after we intended to. If the day just went prefect from that point, I’d stop writing here. Nay children, the idiots of the world surrounded us for an afternoon of fun, adventure and nut shrinking excitement. In everyone’s individual mind eye, are they their own main character in an unending chorus line of stupidity? Or are they so consumed by themselves that they are oblivious to everyone else around them? Perhaps they are incapable of grasping such concepts like manners, public behavior and common sense. The idiocy was not limited to visitors of the zoo either. I ordered some food and a Pepsi and a Diet Pepsi from an eatery. I was subsequently asked to repeat my drink order three times! Was this guy high? Was I high? The Wife and I hadn’t eaten in a while thanks to the arduous task of finding the zoo, so we were both very hungry. If you know us, then you know not to f around with us when we are hungry, and here was this guy asking me to repeat my order of soft drinks! I slaughtered him and stashed the body in the Polar Bear tank.
We spent the next few hours dodging strollers and slow moving humans as we attempted to see the animals without making contact with any of the other sweaty patrons of the zoo. They should issue license to walk. It is called a straight line people! Also do not stop in the middle of everything to pick your nose, look at your map or tell your child to stop being an asshole. Yes, your kid is being annoying, but do us all a favor and discipline them off to the side. I hate sudden stops where I end up rear ending someone with my crotch. Then the person I hit is like “Why were you so close perv?” I wouldn’t be following so close if you weren’t walking slower than someone’s grandma after a colonoscopy. How about the couple that has a two year old and a six year old who let the six year old push the stroller? Child labor much? He can’t even see over the handlebars and you expect him NOT to ram into everything in the park? Did I mention I’m a strong advocate of state sponsored human neutering?
I have led you to believe it was not an enjoyable time. This is untrue. Anytime spent away from work with my Wife is spent well. The Zoo, after getting there and getting food was great. The animals were fairly active for such a hot day. After the zoo we met up with some friends for dinner. There was just one more little annoyance when I could see the restaurant, but I couldn't get to it. Apparently it's impossible to make roads and signs that help you get somewhere.
So we hadn’t even reached the zoo before the world took a big’ol dump right on our heads. And by world I mean Google Maps, and by dump I mean it gave us totally wrong directions. No, I do not mean confusing directions. I also do not mean out of the way directions. I mean that it took us to the wrong place. Google Maps said stop here and guess what, there was no zoo. We spent the next hour trying to figure out where we were and how to get to the zoo from there. I may have had one or two or five screaming freak outs where I needlessly pounded on the steering wheel and cursed Google and their so called maps. But that is just a rumor; you should know better than to believe everything you read on a blog. So we called mom to help us find our way. She started looking and then asked if I had a pen. When I answered no she could not believe it. So she asked again. Still no pen, mom. It was unbelievable to her that I didn't have a pen. Lost in the largest city in Ohio and she got stuck on lack of pen?
Well as you may have guessed, we did find the zoo; about an hour after we intended to. If the day just went prefect from that point, I’d stop writing here. Nay children, the idiots of the world surrounded us for an afternoon of fun, adventure and nut shrinking excitement. In everyone’s individual mind eye, are they their own main character in an unending chorus line of stupidity? Or are they so consumed by themselves that they are oblivious to everyone else around them? Perhaps they are incapable of grasping such concepts like manners, public behavior and common sense. The idiocy was not limited to visitors of the zoo either. I ordered some food and a Pepsi and a Diet Pepsi from an eatery. I was subsequently asked to repeat my drink order three times! Was this guy high? Was I high? The Wife and I hadn’t eaten in a while thanks to the arduous task of finding the zoo, so we were both very hungry. If you know us, then you know not to f around with us when we are hungry, and here was this guy asking me to repeat my order of soft drinks! I slaughtered him and stashed the body in the Polar Bear tank.
We spent the next few hours dodging strollers and slow moving humans as we attempted to see the animals without making contact with any of the other sweaty patrons of the zoo. They should issue license to walk. It is called a straight line people! Also do not stop in the middle of everything to pick your nose, look at your map or tell your child to stop being an asshole. Yes, your kid is being annoying, but do us all a favor and discipline them off to the side. I hate sudden stops where I end up rear ending someone with my crotch. Then the person I hit is like “Why were you so close perv?” I wouldn’t be following so close if you weren’t walking slower than someone’s grandma after a colonoscopy. How about the couple that has a two year old and a six year old who let the six year old push the stroller? Child labor much? He can’t even see over the handlebars and you expect him NOT to ram into everything in the park? Did I mention I’m a strong advocate of state sponsored human neutering?
I have led you to believe it was not an enjoyable time. This is untrue. Anytime spent away from work with my Wife is spent well. The Zoo, after getting there and getting food was great. The animals were fairly active for such a hot day. After the zoo we met up with some friends for dinner. There was just one more little annoyance when I could see the restaurant, but I couldn't get to it. Apparently it's impossible to make roads and signs that help you get somewhere.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Pack
I have select friends that will laugh very hard when I say “I love my backpack,” that’s an inside joke and you all are on the outside. But I do love it. I love hiking. I’ve got the itch, and not the itch you get after eating at McDonalds. I want to fill up my backpack and travel into the forest. I want to stay there and survive with only what I could fit into the pack. This is not some existential Walden bull. I really want to get away from this right here. The computers, the technology, the essence of our culture these days. Does anyone go outside anymore? Is there even a reason too?
I was looking at some out door apparel this weekend. I showed a shirt I really liked to my wife and she let me know just how ugly she thought it was. But who cares what you look like in the woods? If someone wears white after Labor Day in the forest does it make a sound? It’s not about looks in the wild; another perfect reason to go there. Utility is key to survival. You’re little GPS device is great until it runs out of batteries. I’m not going to go all Man vs Wild by eating bear shit or giving myself a salt water enema; I’m talking about simple hiking and nature. As I write this from my station at work I can’t help but feel out of place. I think this is not where I should be, maybe the woods isn’t either but the least I can do is go find out.
So this is a call to arms. If any of you have any interest in roughing it, contact me. I already have my first expedition mapped out. I’ll be doing the 31.7 mile Kanawha Trace trail from Barboursville, WV to Frazier’s Bottom, WV. It will be a single night trip; fifteen miles one day and fifteen the next. The terrain is pretty difficult. The following is a list of important items:
Necessary items:
Backpack: metal frame is preferred, especially if you are carrying a tent.
Tent: unless you like animals snuggling up to you at night. Note: the easier to put up and break down the better. Also, the more people it sleeps the heavier it will be. Generally there should be one tent for every two people.
Sleeping Bag and Ground mat: the lighter weight the better. If you bring a mattress from a five star hotel no one is going to feel sorry for you when you’re tired after five minutes.
Clothes: these should be light weight and durable. Bring clothes for all weather regardless of season. One pair of underwear and socks for every 2.5 days should do; minimum two pair.
Hat: no not the kind they wore at the royal wedding.
Boots: not necessarily boots, but some very comfortable, durable athletic shoes with good tread. If I ever see flip flops on a backpacking trip I will set them on fire, feet still attached.
Water: Your body needs water, so drink that shit.
Food: unless you plan on catching it yourself.
First Aide Kit: for boo boos.
Map and Compass: like I said GPS is great when it works. Unless you KNOW where you are, bring these items just incase. Also, it’s best to know how to use them.
Fire Starting Materials: depending on the time of year and location there could be fire bans up, but it never hurts to bring this stuff along anyways. Lighters, lint, flint and tender, matches; whatever your preference, just don’t light the whole forest on fire.
Rope and Bag: to put food and other smelly stuff in for night storage (bear bag). Also handy if someone is being super annoying.
Other Equipment: (not everyone needs this stuff on their person. A good long discussion beforehand about who is bringing what can help sort this out)
Plates and Utensils: these are not totally needed unless you plan of cooking hot meals that can’t be held in or eaten by hand. Also, you better have some way to wash them or the animals will come do it for you.
Camera: to record the cannibalism first hand so there is no doubt.
Cash: you never know when you may find a forest wondering Gucci salesperson. Actually, you never know when trouble may hit and you need to buy supplies. This is America remember, you’re never THAT far from something; even if it is rapist hillbillies.
Cell Phone: I know this pretty much goes against in whole getting away from technology idea, but if you keep it off and for emergency use only it’s okay.
Walking Stick: some people like the extra stability these provide.
Fishing Pole: I guess some people enjoy sitting and waiting.
Duct Tape: come on, do I need to explain this?
Sun Screen: I wanted to put this on the do NOT bring list, but global warming and all demands I allow it to come along. You see sun screen is an item that smells and continues to smell long after use. Animals can smell it and are attracted to it. But as long as your final use for the day is four or five hours before you sleep it will be okay, maybe. This also goes for tooth paste!
Do Not Bring:
Bug Spray: yeah no one likes being bitten by bugs, but the last time I checked, being bitten by a bear wasn’t high on too many people’s lists either. Sure 9 out of 10 times it’s a raccoon or other harmless creature that smells it on you while you’re sleeping, but are you willing to chance it the one time it’s not? (Oh and just so you know, if you’re in North America, it may not be a bear, but there is something out there that can smell it and can hurt you. Scout’s honor.) If the bugs are bothering you, just throw some dirt on yourself. Oh I’m serious.
Deodorant: see bug spray.
There are tons of other things I haven't mentioned. If you are genuinely interested contact me, if not then take a hike.
I was looking at some out door apparel this weekend. I showed a shirt I really liked to my wife and she let me know just how ugly she thought it was. But who cares what you look like in the woods? If someone wears white after Labor Day in the forest does it make a sound? It’s not about looks in the wild; another perfect reason to go there. Utility is key to survival. You’re little GPS device is great until it runs out of batteries. I’m not going to go all Man vs Wild by eating bear shit or giving myself a salt water enema; I’m talking about simple hiking and nature. As I write this from my station at work I can’t help but feel out of place. I think this is not where I should be, maybe the woods isn’t either but the least I can do is go find out.
So this is a call to arms. If any of you have any interest in roughing it, contact me. I already have my first expedition mapped out. I’ll be doing the 31.7 mile Kanawha Trace trail from Barboursville, WV to Frazier’s Bottom, WV. It will be a single night trip; fifteen miles one day and fifteen the next. The terrain is pretty difficult. The following is a list of important items:
Necessary items:
Backpack: metal frame is preferred, especially if you are carrying a tent.
Tent: unless you like animals snuggling up to you at night. Note: the easier to put up and break down the better. Also, the more people it sleeps the heavier it will be. Generally there should be one tent for every two people.
Sleeping Bag and Ground mat: the lighter weight the better. If you bring a mattress from a five star hotel no one is going to feel sorry for you when you’re tired after five minutes.
Clothes: these should be light weight and durable. Bring clothes for all weather regardless of season. One pair of underwear and socks for every 2.5 days should do; minimum two pair.
Hat: no not the kind they wore at the royal wedding.
Boots: not necessarily boots, but some very comfortable, durable athletic shoes with good tread. If I ever see flip flops on a backpacking trip I will set them on fire, feet still attached.
Water: Your body needs water, so drink that shit.
Food: unless you plan on catching it yourself.
First Aide Kit: for boo boos.
Map and Compass: like I said GPS is great when it works. Unless you KNOW where you are, bring these items just incase. Also, it’s best to know how to use them.
Fire Starting Materials: depending on the time of year and location there could be fire bans up, but it never hurts to bring this stuff along anyways. Lighters, lint, flint and tender, matches; whatever your preference, just don’t light the whole forest on fire.
Rope and Bag: to put food and other smelly stuff in for night storage (bear bag). Also handy if someone is being super annoying.
Other Equipment: (not everyone needs this stuff on their person. A good long discussion beforehand about who is bringing what can help sort this out)
Plates and Utensils: these are not totally needed unless you plan of cooking hot meals that can’t be held in or eaten by hand. Also, you better have some way to wash them or the animals will come do it for you.
Camera: to record the cannibalism first hand so there is no doubt.
Cash: you never know when you may find a forest wondering Gucci salesperson. Actually, you never know when trouble may hit and you need to buy supplies. This is America remember, you’re never THAT far from something; even if it is rapist hillbillies.
Cell Phone: I know this pretty much goes against in whole getting away from technology idea, but if you keep it off and for emergency use only it’s okay.
Walking Stick: some people like the extra stability these provide.
Fishing Pole: I guess some people enjoy sitting and waiting.
Duct Tape: come on, do I need to explain this?
Sun Screen: I wanted to put this on the do NOT bring list, but global warming and all demands I allow it to come along. You see sun screen is an item that smells and continues to smell long after use. Animals can smell it and are attracted to it. But as long as your final use for the day is four or five hours before you sleep it will be okay, maybe. This also goes for tooth paste!
Do Not Bring:
Bug Spray: yeah no one likes being bitten by bugs, but the last time I checked, being bitten by a bear wasn’t high on too many people’s lists either. Sure 9 out of 10 times it’s a raccoon or other harmless creature that smells it on you while you’re sleeping, but are you willing to chance it the one time it’s not? (Oh and just so you know, if you’re in North America, it may not be a bear, but there is something out there that can smell it and can hurt you. Scout’s honor.) If the bugs are bothering you, just throw some dirt on yourself. Oh I’m serious.
Deodorant: see bug spray.
There are tons of other things I haven't mentioned. If you are genuinely interested contact me, if not then take a hike.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Flying Pig Weekend!
Good day everyone. Due to my week long celebration of the movie Thor, I have passed the blogging duties to my dear Wife. She will be informing you of the great weekend we just had where she participated in the Flying Pig Half Marathon. Also it is likely I will blog about Thor on Saturday go be sure to check in. Peace.
-Hobo Dan
I know this blog is a long one...but the husband told me to not hold back and to describe the whole experience!
This past weekend was one of excitement, accomplishment, goal-reaching and fun. To quote Charlie Sheen, it was WINNING! I came, saw and conquered "the flying pig!" In other words, I finally ran my first half marathon on Sunday! I have been running since third grade and ran competitively throughout junior high, high school and college. Other than hurdles, I had ran every track event from the 100 to the 10K.
After my post-collegiate running career, I have done a decent job keeping up with my running, but primarily for fitness purposes. I do not run at the intensity that I did in college nor do I have time to do so. Shortly after college graduation I set a goal for myself: run a half marathon. However, it took a few years for me to actually do it and I began to wonder if I had the guts and drive anymore to do so. It was something I wanted to do, but to be blunt, I was scared. A half marathon is stepping out of my comfort zone...BIG TIME! With encouragement from the husband and some of my running club members, I realized that I could do it. I began doing long runs again (something I hadn't really done much of except for days when I just felt like going out and doing more miles), and decided to set my sites on The Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio. The race was voted by Runners World magazine as one of the Top 10 most fun marathons in the country or something of that nature. Also, I mean the theme is a flying pig, SO CUTE!
Sooooo as the week of the Flying Pig came, I unfortunately caught a sore throat/head cold. YUCK! I hate being sick! I know what typically comes with a sore throat and I was determined to not let myself get worse so I tried everything. Cough drops, massive amounts of Claritan D, ect. The husband suggested gargling salt water...which I found gross, until Internet research indicated that this was a good idea. So I spent the days leading up to the race gargling massive amounts of salt water. Tasty! While I didn't magically get completely healthy, I know the salt water actually helped and my throat didn't feel nearly as bad! Winning!
Still feeling not 100 percent, I decided I was good enough to go running wise, so we kept our hotel reservation in Cincinnati and headed off to conquer "the pig" Saturday morning. This was the first time since my last race in college that I was actually nervous about running again! My only expectation was to finish the race, but because it was unknown and something I had never done, the nerves kicked in hardcore. I asked the husband one thing: to not go all Daniel and complain and rant about the traffic. He agreed to do so, however, this promise lasted only about 20 minutes as we got stuck in traffic in Gallipolis due to a tractor pulling a van. LOL. Sure. Well after we got our dog checked in at his "doggie camp" for the weekend, we finally got out of traffic and made it to Cincinnati in good time!
We immediately went to the Flying Pig Expo so I could register for the half marathon! Parking of course was an adventure, but everything worked out. I registered and then the reality finally slapped me in the face: "OMG I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO RUN A HALF MARATHON TOMORROW!" The expo provided a great distraction though. It was HUGE and so well organized, like the entire Flying Pig Marathon event. There was basically a store in the expo, so along with my race "swag" I got some other goodies, including a pink Flying Pig t-shirt and hot pink arm warmers. Winning! After all the expo madness and checking into our hotel, As a pre-race tradition that dates back to my high school cross country days, we went to Carrabbas for dinner so I could carbo-load with some pre-race pasta and bread! Yum yum!
Sunday race morning came early. VERY EARLY. The race started at 6:30 a.m., but in order to park at Paul Brown Stadium (which is where the race started) we had to be there no later than 5:30...which meant I got up at 3:50 a.m. I'd wager to say I got about 2 hours of sleep total Saturday night. Between the annoying hotel air conditioner, my head cold crud and my nerves, sleep really was out of the question. I woke up with a familiar nervous feeling that I used to always get before races. For my pre-race meal I forced down a Snickers Marathon Bar (not good but a quick fix and better than those awful chewy PowerBars!) I also did another old pre-race tradition of mine: PEED ABOUT A MILLION TIMES. Why oh why do I always pee soooo much when my nerves are up? Luckily, the Flying Pig was also organized in this department and had a HUGE row of multiple porta-potties near the start. After pacing and semi-stretching, the rain began to fall just in time for the runners to go to their starting corrals or "pig pens" as the Flying Pig called them! I was in Pig Pen B (pig pen/corrals are based on projected finish times). My pig pen was the second fastest one. I had to leave Daniel and head to that area alone. I was surrounded by many runners who had running partners or at least knew each other. However, during the 10 minute wait in our pig pen, I ended up making some friends and chatting with people. That's the beauty of distance runners, who for the most part, (except for the witch with a b who tried to accuse me of line jumping during one of my multiple porta potty trips!) are always very friendly. That was nice and made things more relaxed.
Finally, the race started...as more than 30,000 people were in the race and I was in Pig Pen B it was several seconds later (maybe even a minute) before I actually crossed the start line. This of course did not effect times, as all participants wore a timing chip on their shoe that officially started their time when they crossed the start line. The first two miles were insane... "bumper to bumper" traffic of people! These miles were quite slow as there were so many people and not a lot of room to move. I don't even remember seeing mile 1 or the time because all of a sudden I saw the marker and time for mile 2! These miles (although slow) went by fast. While I didn't exactly have a time goal, I knew I could be going faster and finally "traffic" began to be less tight and I picked up my pace. We ran over three bridges (which I loved!) and were in Kentucky for a short stint of the race. My biggest memory of Kentucky was laughing at the "Big Daddy Liquor" store we ran by lol. Yes, I am so mature! When we crossed the third bridge back into downtown Cincinnati, I knew the supposed difficult section of the race, called "the climb" was coming up. I had taken a virtual course tour thanks the beauty of YouTube...so I braced myself for the hills to come. The climb itself wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought it would be. A lot of the runners who had written course reviews describing "the climb" as brutal have obviously never suffered through Agony Hills repeats in Charleston. However, the hills were by no means easy and were still quite a challenge. You would think a hill would be done but then it would keep going! Finally, I hit mile 8 and knew the bulk of the main hill part was done. That being said, I would describe the whole course as not really flat, but a "rolling course." Much of the hill part took place in the beautiful Eden Park, which also was a nice distraction. I like to have nice things to look at while I run, and it was gorgeous there! I went through mile 9, which had some bit of a downhill. But, I really began to feel fatigued in mile 9...although I made it through the hills quite fine and didn't find them to be as scary as I thought, they really made me tired for the remainder of the run. At mile 10, I hit the dreaded "wall." I knew I only had 3.1 miles left...but I was exhausted at this point. Mile 11, while having a major downhill, was probably my worst one. I know I slowed down and of course blew some sweet snot rockets thanks to my head cold...I am a classy lady! I remember thinking on this mile that I couldn't wait to finish and that maybe I wouldn't do another half after this. Then mile 12 came and I realized... ONE MILE LEFT. JUST ONE! THAT'S IT! I got a breath of energy back and as I neared Great American Ballpark, I knew I was soooo close to crossing "run a half marathon" off my bucket list! In the final 100 meters or so, I unleashed my good ole "track speed" and passed quite a few people with my finishing kick. I clocked in at under two hours, which was good enough for me and my first half marathon effort.
Crossing the finish line was amazing! It was such a rush of adrenaline. Despite nearly puking on one of the volunteers as I leaned over after crossing the line (another oh so wonderful running tradition of mine), I was instantly filled with happiness. As I walked down the finishing area, I was immediately given my finisher's medal. I also decided at that point that even though I was sore, exhausted and drenched (it literally rained the entire race), that I would definitely do another half marathon and would have to do the Pig next year too! I hadn't felt that good about myself in a long time, and it was nice to have that feeling of gratification back again. The adrenaline from finishing was like a drug and now I need more! As I collected snacks in the finishers area and made my way out of the "tunnel" to find the husband post-race (which took an hour by the way lol) I cried. I actually did it. I kept saying that to myself. Running this half marathon was just the emotional boost I needed.
Finally, I found the husband and we walked around downtown as much as I could...but ultimately decided to go to the car. LOL. I was sore, tired and ready to change into dry clothes, meet up with our Cinci friends and get some post-race Skyline Chili!
Overall, the race experience was amazing. The Flying Pig organizers put together one awesome, well-run event! Not to mention the support of the city of Cincinnati and the cities in Kentucky that we ran through. Every single step of the race had spectator support, cheers, bands and entertainment of some kind! It all helped motivate me and the other participants sooo much! They also had gatorade and water offered throughout the whole race! With my sore throat, this was AWESOME and very helpful! I feel like I was probably spoiled doing the Flying Pig for my first half because it was so huge and the crowd support was soooooo awesome! The post race snacks were also amazing. I had the best yogurt I've ever had. It is now my quest to find it. They even had non-conventional post race snacks that many people shockingly seemed to enjoy. I've never seen so many people swig down chocolate milk immediately after racing. Not for me, but to each is his own!
Upon completing the race, I also found that some runners and spectators, including Daniel, got a full view of one runner. A naked runner man that is. Manbearpig?!?! Evidently, according to the news report the next day, the man jumped in the race at some point (he was not a registered participant) and well, ran naked! He actually had to be tazed! I am glad I did not see the naked dude... but have to give him props for being so "ballsy." Hahaha to cheesy jokes!
Anyway, this weekend was awesome and an experience that I will always treasure and never forget. Thanks to all those who supported and encouraged me, especially the husband who is and always has been my "biggest fan!" I still can't believe that the girl who used to complain about having to run the 3200 voluntarily signed up for a half marathon and completed the race...and further more, enjoyed it!
-The Wife
-Hobo Dan
I know this blog is a long one...but the husband told me to not hold back and to describe the whole experience!
This past weekend was one of excitement, accomplishment, goal-reaching and fun. To quote Charlie Sheen, it was WINNING! I came, saw and conquered "the flying pig!" In other words, I finally ran my first half marathon on Sunday! I have been running since third grade and ran competitively throughout junior high, high school and college. Other than hurdles, I had ran every track event from the 100 to the 10K.
After my post-collegiate running career, I have done a decent job keeping up with my running, but primarily for fitness purposes. I do not run at the intensity that I did in college nor do I have time to do so. Shortly after college graduation I set a goal for myself: run a half marathon. However, it took a few years for me to actually do it and I began to wonder if I had the guts and drive anymore to do so. It was something I wanted to do, but to be blunt, I was scared. A half marathon is stepping out of my comfort zone...BIG TIME! With encouragement from the husband and some of my running club members, I realized that I could do it. I began doing long runs again (something I hadn't really done much of except for days when I just felt like going out and doing more miles), and decided to set my sites on The Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio. The race was voted by Runners World magazine as one of the Top 10 most fun marathons in the country or something of that nature. Also, I mean the theme is a flying pig, SO CUTE!
Sooooo as the week of the Flying Pig came, I unfortunately caught a sore throat/head cold. YUCK! I hate being sick! I know what typically comes with a sore throat and I was determined to not let myself get worse so I tried everything. Cough drops, massive amounts of Claritan D, ect. The husband suggested gargling salt water...which I found gross, until Internet research indicated that this was a good idea. So I spent the days leading up to the race gargling massive amounts of salt water. Tasty! While I didn't magically get completely healthy, I know the salt water actually helped and my throat didn't feel nearly as bad! Winning!
Still feeling not 100 percent, I decided I was good enough to go running wise, so we kept our hotel reservation in Cincinnati and headed off to conquer "the pig" Saturday morning. This was the first time since my last race in college that I was actually nervous about running again! My only expectation was to finish the race, but because it was unknown and something I had never done, the nerves kicked in hardcore. I asked the husband one thing: to not go all Daniel and complain and rant about the traffic. He agreed to do so, however, this promise lasted only about 20 minutes as we got stuck in traffic in Gallipolis due to a tractor pulling a van. LOL. Sure. Well after we got our dog checked in at his "doggie camp" for the weekend, we finally got out of traffic and made it to Cincinnati in good time!
We immediately went to the Flying Pig Expo so I could register for the half marathon! Parking of course was an adventure, but everything worked out. I registered and then the reality finally slapped me in the face: "OMG I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO RUN A HALF MARATHON TOMORROW!" The expo provided a great distraction though. It was HUGE and so well organized, like the entire Flying Pig Marathon event. There was basically a store in the expo, so along with my race "swag" I got some other goodies, including a pink Flying Pig t-shirt and hot pink arm warmers. Winning! After all the expo madness and checking into our hotel, As a pre-race tradition that dates back to my high school cross country days, we went to Carrabbas for dinner so I could carbo-load with some pre-race pasta and bread! Yum yum!
Sunday race morning came early. VERY EARLY. The race started at 6:30 a.m., but in order to park at Paul Brown Stadium (which is where the race started) we had to be there no later than 5:30...which meant I got up at 3:50 a.m. I'd wager to say I got about 2 hours of sleep total Saturday night. Between the annoying hotel air conditioner, my head cold crud and my nerves, sleep really was out of the question. I woke up with a familiar nervous feeling that I used to always get before races. For my pre-race meal I forced down a Snickers Marathon Bar (not good but a quick fix and better than those awful chewy PowerBars!) I also did another old pre-race tradition of mine: PEED ABOUT A MILLION TIMES. Why oh why do I always pee soooo much when my nerves are up? Luckily, the Flying Pig was also organized in this department and had a HUGE row of multiple porta-potties near the start. After pacing and semi-stretching, the rain began to fall just in time for the runners to go to their starting corrals or "pig pens" as the Flying Pig called them! I was in Pig Pen B (pig pen/corrals are based on projected finish times). My pig pen was the second fastest one. I had to leave Daniel and head to that area alone. I was surrounded by many runners who had running partners or at least knew each other. However, during the 10 minute wait in our pig pen, I ended up making some friends and chatting with people. That's the beauty of distance runners, who for the most part, (except for the witch with a b who tried to accuse me of line jumping during one of my multiple porta potty trips!) are always very friendly. That was nice and made things more relaxed.
Finally, the race started...as more than 30,000 people were in the race and I was in Pig Pen B it was several seconds later (maybe even a minute) before I actually crossed the start line. This of course did not effect times, as all participants wore a timing chip on their shoe that officially started their time when they crossed the start line. The first two miles were insane... "bumper to bumper" traffic of people! These miles were quite slow as there were so many people and not a lot of room to move. I don't even remember seeing mile 1 or the time because all of a sudden I saw the marker and time for mile 2! These miles (although slow) went by fast. While I didn't exactly have a time goal, I knew I could be going faster and finally "traffic" began to be less tight and I picked up my pace. We ran over three bridges (which I loved!) and were in Kentucky for a short stint of the race. My biggest memory of Kentucky was laughing at the "Big Daddy Liquor" store we ran by lol. Yes, I am so mature! When we crossed the third bridge back into downtown Cincinnati, I knew the supposed difficult section of the race, called "the climb" was coming up. I had taken a virtual course tour thanks the beauty of YouTube...so I braced myself for the hills to come. The climb itself wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought it would be. A lot of the runners who had written course reviews describing "the climb" as brutal have obviously never suffered through Agony Hills repeats in Charleston. However, the hills were by no means easy and were still quite a challenge. You would think a hill would be done but then it would keep going! Finally, I hit mile 8 and knew the bulk of the main hill part was done. That being said, I would describe the whole course as not really flat, but a "rolling course." Much of the hill part took place in the beautiful Eden Park, which also was a nice distraction. I like to have nice things to look at while I run, and it was gorgeous there! I went through mile 9, which had some bit of a downhill. But, I really began to feel fatigued in mile 9...although I made it through the hills quite fine and didn't find them to be as scary as I thought, they really made me tired for the remainder of the run. At mile 10, I hit the dreaded "wall." I knew I only had 3.1 miles left...but I was exhausted at this point. Mile 11, while having a major downhill, was probably my worst one. I know I slowed down and of course blew some sweet snot rockets thanks to my head cold...I am a classy lady! I remember thinking on this mile that I couldn't wait to finish and that maybe I wouldn't do another half after this. Then mile 12 came and I realized... ONE MILE LEFT. JUST ONE! THAT'S IT! I got a breath of energy back and as I neared Great American Ballpark, I knew I was soooo close to crossing "run a half marathon" off my bucket list! In the final 100 meters or so, I unleashed my good ole "track speed" and passed quite a few people with my finishing kick. I clocked in at under two hours, which was good enough for me and my first half marathon effort.
Crossing the finish line was amazing! It was such a rush of adrenaline. Despite nearly puking on one of the volunteers as I leaned over after crossing the line (another oh so wonderful running tradition of mine), I was instantly filled with happiness. As I walked down the finishing area, I was immediately given my finisher's medal. I also decided at that point that even though I was sore, exhausted and drenched (it literally rained the entire race), that I would definitely do another half marathon and would have to do the Pig next year too! I hadn't felt that good about myself in a long time, and it was nice to have that feeling of gratification back again. The adrenaline from finishing was like a drug and now I need more! As I collected snacks in the finishers area and made my way out of the "tunnel" to find the husband post-race (which took an hour by the way lol) I cried. I actually did it. I kept saying that to myself. Running this half marathon was just the emotional boost I needed.
Finally, I found the husband and we walked around downtown as much as I could...but ultimately decided to go to the car. LOL. I was sore, tired and ready to change into dry clothes, meet up with our Cinci friends and get some post-race Skyline Chili!
Overall, the race experience was amazing. The Flying Pig organizers put together one awesome, well-run event! Not to mention the support of the city of Cincinnati and the cities in Kentucky that we ran through. Every single step of the race had spectator support, cheers, bands and entertainment of some kind! It all helped motivate me and the other participants sooo much! They also had gatorade and water offered throughout the whole race! With my sore throat, this was AWESOME and very helpful! I feel like I was probably spoiled doing the Flying Pig for my first half because it was so huge and the crowd support was soooooo awesome! The post race snacks were also amazing. I had the best yogurt I've ever had. It is now my quest to find it. They even had non-conventional post race snacks that many people shockingly seemed to enjoy. I've never seen so many people swig down chocolate milk immediately after racing. Not for me, but to each is his own!
Upon completing the race, I also found that some runners and spectators, including Daniel, got a full view of one runner. A naked runner man that is. Manbearpig?!?! Evidently, according to the news report the next day, the man jumped in the race at some point (he was not a registered participant) and well, ran naked! He actually had to be tazed! I am glad I did not see the naked dude... but have to give him props for being so "ballsy." Hahaha to cheesy jokes!
Anyway, this weekend was awesome and an experience that I will always treasure and never forget. Thanks to all those who supported and encouraged me, especially the husband who is and always has been my "biggest fan!" I still can't believe that the girl who used to complain about having to run the 3200 voluntarily signed up for a half marathon and completed the race...and further more, enjoyed it!
-The Wife
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Everyday Things
I just realized I have somewhere around three shirts. Go ahead and check the facebook; those of you unfortunate enough to be my friend. Yeah, done? And? that's what I thought; in all my pictures I'm wearing the same small number of shirts. I think this means the end is near. Maybe 2012 is really going to happen! Does anyone want to meet up and plan out what cliff to jump off of just before the end? I'll bring the kool aide! You know, if we jump at just the right moment the aliens or robots or Mothman or Han Solo or George S. Patton or who ever will swoop down to save us. Or it's all a bunch of bull shit and we just fall to our deaths. Either way we won't have to get up the next day and go to work. I could also just need some more shirts. Christmas ideas everybody!
I’m sure all of you know someone like me. Some freak like me. I’m not complicated. Your first mistake would be over thinking me. I’m a man of simple requests. For instance, often I like to enjoy a hamburger; plain. So what does plain mean? I’m pretty sure the Dictionary of Modern American Foods describes it as and I quote “meat and fucking bun!” Now I worked at a fast food establishment for nine months after college. I know the customer is not always right. But damn it to hell, how hard is it to make a plain hamburger? “Okay, I have this bun, now I need this piece of meat. Okay, now wrap it up. Done, oh that was simple!” Yeah you’d think so. I mean really, what could a customer ask for that is any easier than a plain sandwich? Oh, and while I’m on the topic, when I ask for that plain hamburger, the word plain implies NO CHEESE. So after I order you don’t have to ask me if I’d like cheese. I mean why did you even bother to take my order if you weren’t going to pay attention to the words coming out of my huge flapping lips? And no, I would not like to try an oatmeal, burrito, green milkshake or what ever else you burger joints are pushing these days. If I want those things, I’ll go to a restaurant that specializes in that item or make it at home. I just want a hamburger from you people. Plain and simple.
I guess it is the fate of us all to suffer and rot under such ridiculous and mundane circumstances.
On a more joyous note, the Wife will be running her very first half Marathon this Sunday, May 1 in Cincinnati, Ohio at the Flying Pig Half Marathon. That's 13.1 miles for you uneducated in the ways of running. There is a way to track her progress via text message using the chips in her shoes. If you're interested let me know and I'll get you that info. Be aware the race starts at 6:30 AM so if you sign up you'll get some very early texts! Also, we both have sore throats, please pray they don't turn into anything more. The Wife will provide you with a full write up of the run and the weekend as a whole next Thursday, so YAY for scheduled programing! Peace be with you all, accept for that dumb ass that messed up my burger, you have a terrible weekend ass hole.
I’m sure all of you know someone like me. Some freak like me. I’m not complicated. Your first mistake would be over thinking me. I’m a man of simple requests. For instance, often I like to enjoy a hamburger; plain. So what does plain mean? I’m pretty sure the Dictionary of Modern American Foods describes it as and I quote “meat and fucking bun!” Now I worked at a fast food establishment for nine months after college. I know the customer is not always right. But damn it to hell, how hard is it to make a plain hamburger? “Okay, I have this bun, now I need this piece of meat. Okay, now wrap it up. Done, oh that was simple!” Yeah you’d think so. I mean really, what could a customer ask for that is any easier than a plain sandwich? Oh, and while I’m on the topic, when I ask for that plain hamburger, the word plain implies NO CHEESE. So after I order you don’t have to ask me if I’d like cheese. I mean why did you even bother to take my order if you weren’t going to pay attention to the words coming out of my huge flapping lips? And no, I would not like to try an oatmeal, burrito, green milkshake or what ever else you burger joints are pushing these days. If I want those things, I’ll go to a restaurant that specializes in that item or make it at home. I just want a hamburger from you people. Plain and simple.
I guess it is the fate of us all to suffer and rot under such ridiculous and mundane circumstances.
On a more joyous note, the Wife will be running her very first half Marathon this Sunday, May 1 in Cincinnati, Ohio at the Flying Pig Half Marathon. That's 13.1 miles for you uneducated in the ways of running. There is a way to track her progress via text message using the chips in her shoes. If you're interested let me know and I'll get you that info. Be aware the race starts at 6:30 AM so if you sign up you'll get some very early texts! Also, we both have sore throats, please pray they don't turn into anything more. The Wife will provide you with a full write up of the run and the weekend as a whole next Thursday, so YAY for scheduled programing! Peace be with you all, accept for that dumb ass that messed up my burger, you have a terrible weekend ass hole.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Camping Trip
I love camping. There is no better way to just relax and get away from noise and cell phones. You can bring your cell phone with you, but it won't work; at least, not where we went. Over the weekend, starting Thursday, the wife and I packed up and went camping. We borrowed the canvas pop up camper from Mom, thanks Mom, and made way to Hocking Hills State Forest. We went there last year as well so I'll only say that if you haven't been there you are really missing out. Another coupe we know joined us on Friday, camping and friends go so well together.
So it's just hot and humid. I complain a lot on here, but I try not to went talking about camping. Camping is my Zen place, or my Ka for any DarkTower junkies. Camping is just the best; hot or cold, rain or shine. Unfortunately, we got a good dose of hot and rain. It wasn't a damper (no pun) on the weekend, just another part of it. The couple that came with us had no idea how to get there. For the record it is out of the way. I gave them directions, but my directions have taken people the wrong way before; a certain attendee from my wife's last birthday can attest. So I was nervious when it cam time to meet them. I'll state again, there is little to no cell phone service there. It's a good twenty to thirty mile drive to get it. I went to the predetermined meeting place a little early and sat in the back of the truck and relaxed. Generally I despise waiting, but I was camping, so no problem. Then the rain came.
This was a downpour for the ages. When they pulled into the parking area I didn't even see them until they were parked right beside me. Normally I would be pissed about the rain. No, I'm camping, bitch! Nothing is going to get me down. They follow me up the narrow and curvy road to the camp site and we arrive to see it had become a mud slide. We packed inside the camper; four people or various sizes and two dogs; Winston our small Miniature Schnauzer and Issac, their large Golden Retriever. I wasn't cramped, but it was close. it didn't help that our small dog with an inferiority complex had to bark at everyone who came in the door. He also barked when they left and again when they came back in; as if he completely forgot who they were in the two minutes they were gone. This did stop after a while, but at first and during the rain storm it was, testing.
We had dinner ready and soon after it was dry enough to go outside and try to make a fire. I love camp fires. I don't love making camp fires out of wet wood. It's not imposable, just difficult. But I pushed on and got that fire started and it was good. I looked past it low burn and constant need of tending. I was able to make peace with all the chair being wet. I sat on a log for the fire. That was fine although I had to stand from time to time. The log was standing up strait and it was just barely thick enough. I have conjured several jokes about it being too thin to sit on, but I decided not to go there right now. I guess the camping vibe is still with me.
The next day we hiked more and it rained more. We ate and it got super humid. But people here is the truth; it didn't bother me, because I was camping. If all the crap happened to me in a regular day, the blog make have gone:
So I'm sick. Hot Damn! There is nothing better than being sick and camping and it's so humid a fish just swam by my face! Think of all the days it doesn't rain and the one it does, I'm on vacation and sick. Head cold; irony that I have a cold yet I'm hot as hell and sweating like a fat guy at the county fair eating a funnel cake. My head is so stuffed I'm just waiting for the alien to bust out of my sinus and go terrorize Signorine Weaver...
But I didn't do that. I won't do that. I don't feel that way and writing that was hard because I just don't have it in me right now. Don't worry, I'm sure angry Hobo Dan will return at some point, but for now I'm on camping high.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Weekend at Hocking Hills
If you've never been to Hocking Hills State Park in Hocking county Ohio, stop reading this right now and go! First of all, there is no cell phone reception within a twelve mile radius or so; it's great. There are few places in the world I know so well I would consider them home; this region is one of them. I spent many summers camping at Hocking Hills and hiking and generally being in nature, which I don't do enough anymore.
Thursday I returned to Hocking Hills to camp for the first time since high school. This time I had my wife and dog with me. It was very cool to be in a place treasured in my childhood, now as an adult with my own family. We stayed at the State camp ground which sits at the top of the hill from Old Man's Cave. Down the other side of the camp is Rose Lake and all around the area are trails of all kinds. We just chilled out Thursday night, relaxed by the fire and had some S'mores.
Friday morning we got up and decided to hike the trail linking Old Man's Cave and Cedar Falls. Round trip ended up being about six miles. The dog and I just about died by the end; then I had top carrie him up some high wooden steps. The wife had no trouble at all getting through the very rough trail (errr). A long nap in the camper was just what I needed to help recover from that trek.
That evening we just relaxed and talked and it was good. People always complain about being bored. We had nothing to do and it was glorious. I think we lose sight of the really important things when we have the TV deciding that for us. Saturday we hit a few different places to hike but didn't do anything like the day before. I'm glad because I'm too out of shape for that nonsense again so soon.
By Sunday I didn't want to leave, I never do. Going back to the noise of modern society didn't seem like a good choice, but alas I had no where else to go. We popped down the camper and left. Before we started home we hiked Ash cave, since its on the way out. Out of all the days we where there our dog was best behaved on Sunday. Maybe he didn't want to leave. Probably he finally got comfortable with the new surroundings (It was his first camping trip).
I can't wait to go back.
Our Dog Winston
Cedar Falls
Rose Lake
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