Golden Taunt

I was watching Monday Night Football this week instead of the World Series. There were a few reasons for this. First, I probably wouldn't care if the two teams in the World Series both came down with horrible bouts of diarrhea, the likes of which the world has never seen, and the whole thing had to be called off for fear of starting the next Black Plague. Nothing against St. Louis or Boston, I’m sure they are fine cities, but haven’t they won enough already?

Second, rarely do you get to see so many WVU players on Prime time NFL football at the same time. Third, the Rams gave out free hot dogs to anyone willing to come see them lose instead of the Cardinals. Not that I could receive a free hot dog from a thousand miles away, but I appreciate the gesture. So I’m watching the game when Golden Tate, the Notre Dame product, not only saves a would-be interception, but manages to make the catch and score a touchdown. Great play. Too bad he spent the next thirty yards it took him to reach the end-zone taunting the other team.

What happened to sportsmanship? Congratulations Tate, you caught a ball with your hands and ran across a line of paint. Give this guy a noble prize (I shouldn't say that too loud, they’ll give them to anyone these days). I don’t poo poo all celebrations in sport. There are real, legitimate reasons for celebrating. For instance, when the Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a post-season berth for the first time since 1992 (along with their first winning season since 1992) they had a good reason to celebrate. But they chose to do so in a reasonable fashion; in their locker room as a team celebrating a great win. Not by pointing at the Cubs players and taunting them for another losing season and for having by far the worst stadium in MLB (how the hell old Yankee Stadium was torn down but Wrigley is still standing baffles).

I am picking on Tate. To be fair, in every professional sport (and college, and High School and little league and fantasy league and squash matches) you see this kind of behavior and it’s just sad. But we just let them go on doing it. We let them act this way by buying tickets and T-shirts and spending our precious time watching them run around on grass fields instead of going out and running around on grass fields. Are our lives so sad and meaningless that we must not only attach ourselves to these teams, live and die by their wins and losses, but look the other way when they act like spoiled children? I am aware he was chastised by his coach and the fans gave it to him on Twitter. But mark my words, when he catches his next touchdown, everyone will forget that he is a giant bag of dicks while they celebrate and watch him do the Triple Lindy as a touchdown dance.

You shake the hand of the person you defeated and thank them for their effort. You act as if you have been there before. You take time to realize just how lucky you are to be in the NFL, making millions to play a game.

It makes me question why I watch at all. Am I contributing to the problem just by tuning in?

The Black Hole

Wait, is it October?

I feel like I just came out of a coma. A coma I was perfectly conscious for. I am fully aware of how completely I ignored everything and one since April. Not that I don’t have a damned good excuse, but I do apologize. It’s called the Black Hole. It’s caused by work. I’m not saying I have cleared the event horizon, but I am working at full engine capacity to warp out of this funk.

It came to me this past weekend. The Wife and I went to Morgantown, West Virginia with friends and family for the WVU game against Texas Tech. We tailgated and cheered and booed and witnessed a fight (more on that below) and I realized how disconnected I have become since being promoted in April. I haven’t written, or socialized or anything; it’s been stressful. So I’d like to apologize for being stressed out and mean and elusive and for letting Dump the Blog decay. I can’t promise I won’t still be that way from time to time, but I will try hard not to.

Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you about Morgantown. Not Morgantown, West Virginia; Morgantown the person. Morgantown is the daughter of some random dude sitting in the row ahead of me at the WVU game this weekend. He named his daughter Morgantown! I guess she got off lucky; he could be an Oregon fan. This gentleman had copious amount of enthusiasm (alcohol) for the home team. Unfortunately, he believed everyone else that didn’t have as much passion (meth addiction) as he was actively rooting for the other team. This lead to verbal insults and finally, some very choice sign language directed at the rows behind us.

Now I have seen a lot of creative ways to flip people off. I mean a lot! But I have never seen someone tattoo the image of a hand giving the middle finger on their right calf muscle. It seems like a really awkward spot. Once he had exhausted his actual hands in the exercise of vulgarity, he turned, bent over and lifted his pant leg to reveal the tattoo (all while using his wife’s head to balance himself on the bleacher). This was the final insult, apparently, that sparked the target of these attacks and Morgantown’s father to start rolling down the bleachers of section 220. The fight didn’t last long; rolling quickly down five rows of metal bench seats is the number one cause of short fights. We laughed, took pictures and flipped one another calf birds the rest of the afternoon. It was lovely.

So Dump is back, kind of. I want to know what you want me to write about. Comments please. Also, I’d like to thank a certain cousin-in-law-in-law(?) for harassing me about the blog and making me feel super guilty about all this time off.

Lance Armstrong

Did you ever want to believe in something so much you purposefully ignored clear facts? I have. I think it’s pretty clear what I am talking about, but I haven’t wanted to talk about it at all because it hurts. I am not mad. I am hurting in my soul. Writing this has my stomach all rung up because I don’t want to say it. I was wrong. I guess we won’t know anything for certain until the over hyped, narcissistic interview airs tonight, but didn’t we already know? Lance Armstrong is indeed a cheater and maybe more importantly, a liar and a bully.

For those of you who don’t know, I have been a very big Lance fan for years. I have a USPS cycling jersey, I read the book, a have the overpriced custom sunglasses. In years since his retirement and second retirement, I have adamantly defended him in accusations of doping. This is all over. He cheated. He lied about it. He viciously attacked those willing to come forward and tell the truth. He built a charitable foundation on a mountain of lies and bribery. This hurts more than just Lance and the people he took down with him. This hurts the people who believed in the idea of the Livestrong Foundation. I just don’t see a way it can continue on after this. But I am not going to harp on about all this, there are plenty of people doing that for me. I’d much rather forget him, move on, and try to help the people with real problems.

There are those out there cheering this fall from grace and I have words for you:

You were right, now shut up. What kind of sad, messed up world do we live in where people are happy when news like this breaks? This was not just a great sports story, it was a great human story. What has happened to our culture? We enjoy tearing people down more than building them up. Lance deserves every bit of criticism coming his way, no doubt. He brought this upon himself by first cheating and second lying about it and trampling those around him who did nothing but tell the truth. But must we revel in it? I am sad because I can no longer trust anything.

London 2012 Summer Olympics

The Wife: Well as of today we are about one week into the London 2012 Summer Olympics! We originally intended this post to publish last week to serve as a kick-off to the games, but as they say, life happens, and we too, got caught up in the impending Olympics excitement!

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the Olympics, specifically the summer games. In a world where things are far from perfect and countries are often at odds, it is a beautiful thing that we can still have an event that brings people together from all nations to celebrate our gifted athletes. Not to mention, the Olympics is a chance for non-mainstream sports to shine. The Olympics have provided me with so many great memories. I will never forget the man with the golden shoes, the incredible Michael Johnson, dominate the 200m and 400m in track at the Atlanta ’96 games. I also will never forget the Magnificent Seven of the ’96 games! Watching Keri Strug land on one leg after her vault to seal Team USA ’s victory is just one of those epic sports moments that will live on forever. More recently, how could I forget the dominance of swimmer, Michael Phelps? Seeing him specifically dominate in Beijing ‘08 solidified him as one of the best athletes of all time. Even though his time in London hasn’t been quite as magical, with these games Phelps has already achieved the status of the most decorated Olympian of all time and will certainly go down in history as one of the greats.

While I enjoy the winter games for figure skating and the occasional round of curling (hey, curling CAN be entertaining), the Summer Olympics are by far my favorite. Nearly all of the events are entertaining, and the summer games feature my two favorite events, Track and Field and Gymnastics! I also really enjoy the Marathon , Swimming, Diving, Archery, Beach Volleyball and Cycling. The list could go on and on as I try to catch as much Olympic coverage as possible! However, it is my first mentioned favorite, Track and Field, that means the most to me. As a former collegiate track and field athlete, I love seeing MY SPORT shine on television every four years. Track is typically one of the sports that no one cares about, with the exception of those of us in the running community. Therefore, I love seeing it take center stage at the Olympics! I ran track for 14 years, starting as a wee little third grader, and the sport will always be a part of me and dear to me. Although I run primarily for fitness now and have hung up my competitive shoes, I still keep up with the sport and love watching track and field events. Even if I watch track on television, I still get those familiar butterflies in my stomach when the runners toe the line to begin. The Olympics have provided us with so many phenomenal moments in the sport of Track and Field, including 2008’s emergence and dominance of Jamaica ’s Usain Bolt. Man, can that guy fly! While I am all for TEAM USA , I can’t wait to see what Bolt does in London ! I also hope to see our Men’s and Women’s 4x1 teams reclaim gold! I can’t forget Bernard Lagat either, and I really hope he has a good showing at these games. While sprinters are at the forefront of the games, as a former mid-distance and distance track girl, I can’t wait to see the longer events unfold, including the 10,000! It should definitely be an exciting Olympics for Track and Field, and I hope to see many records broken this year!

Already we have had a fabulous 2012 Summer Olympics. This year’s Opening Ceremonies alone were beautiful. The torch lighting was the best I’ve ever seen and really signified the true meaning of the games. So far Team USA has performed great as well. I’ve already been brought to tears seeing our Women’s Gymnastics Team get the gold, as I’ve waited for Team USA to win since the Magnificent Seven in ’96. It was also emotional seeing Phelps finally break the record and become the most decorated Olympian of all time. As Track and Field and many other events are still to come, I am sure we are in for a treat with these summer games!

If you love the Olympics, feel free to share some of your favorite Olympics moments. GO TEAM USA !!!

Zoo and Baseball

Rhino!

Last week’s 4th of July holiday served as a five-day weekend for us. With our power back (see Meltdown 2012 for an explanation) we basked in the glory of electricity and enjoyed a mini-vacation of sorts. Zoo, baseball, relaxation, and of course, beautiful air conditioning, made for an enjoyable time!

The Wife: On the 5th, we headed to the Columbus Zoo! Our annual zoo trip has become a summer tradition for us. Unlike last year, Google Directions didn’t cause a rage fest to occur and we made it to the zoo in perfect time without getting lost in the greater Columbus area. Boom! This may have been the hottest it’s ever been at the zoo as temperatures peaked over 100 that afternoon. Thanks Global Warming or Manbear Pig!? I am waiting for Al Gore to rescue us by taking this summer heat wave down to a breezy 75 degrees.

Complaining aside, the heat really didn’t bother us, and the day went swimmingly. Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! We got excellent views of some animals we never see and I was able to get some fantastic pictures. Other than witnessing a giant brown bear stare me down through the glass as he took a massive poop and seeing the male elephant try to mount the female elephant multiple times, the animals were great! I appreciate Jack Hanna’s work at the Columbus Zoo to make it different from run-of-the-mill zoos. The animals at the Columbus Zoo thrive in a more natural habitat setting and the zoo has taken efforts to protect endangered species. They deserve kudos!

Hobo Dan: Melvin the elephant steps up to the plate and takes a few practice swings. The crowd roars in excitement, and because they are all lions. A few nervous Zebras in the upper deck whisper about steroids use and the Hall of Fame. Melvin ignores it all, he is in the zone. The pitcher, a tall orangutan named Muffins checks first base and waits for the signal from his catcher. Fast ball, down the middle is the call. Muffins winds up and lets it fly. Melvin tenses and then swings... What, huh? Sorry, I took one look at the name of the post and started writing.

This has been a seriously hot week! I think it went to my head. What better way to cure the heat illness? Go walk around outside at the zoo! The animals had the right idea. "Lets sleep in the shade." If aliens do visit this planet, what are the chances they see us as the most intelligent species? We are always out running around in inclement weather (sun bathing, skiing), attempting stupid stunts (sky diving, ramping anything off of anything, every event at the Winter Olympics) and generally engaging in meaningless, unfulfilling activities (Facebook, waiting in line, E!, video games, blogging). These animals have it right. If it's hot, sleep. If it's cold, go inside a cave and sleep. Hungry? Caribou anyone?

Inside PNC Park: Pittsburgh, PA. Go Buccos!

An even better cure for the heat sickness is sitting in direct sunlight for three hours straight watching guys play with their balls and sticks. Yay, homoexrotic baseball jokes! Seriously though, despite the power outage at the beginning of the week and the extreme heat, it was truly good to have some time off spent with the Wife. I love all the things we do together and am thankful we have the ability to do them. The only way the weekend could have been any better is if those two elephants at the zoo had gone at it so we could have filmed it to post up here. Don't pretend you wouldn't have watched...

The Wife: Friday and Saturday served as “staycation” days, although we did manage to drag ourselves out of the house once to see The Amazing Spider-Man! Sunday we enjoyed America ’s favorite past time as we ventured to PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates, for a baseball game. PNC Park is absolutely gorgeous and is known to be one of the most attractive ball parks. Other than the scorching heat, it too, was a great day as the Pirates smashed the San Francisco Giants winning 13-2! Us Pirates fans have had a rough 19 years, so it’s been great to see this team doing well, and being there to witness such a great win was awesome. Go Buccos!

Below our some pictures from our travels:

Snake ssssss! Attempted Parseltongue and it posed. Lol Harry Potter FTW!

Gorillas are so cool

Adorable baby gorilla

Blog Note: As you know we have been doing some updates to the blog. Most recently we updated the About Dump and Relay tabs at the top of the page. Check them out!

Moneyball

The Wife and I watched Moneyball this past weekend in an attempt to see as many of the best picture nominees as possible before the Oscars. A fantastic movie in my opinion, but I’m not here to review it. I’m here to talk about baseball. Every time I see a great baseball movie it reminds me that, deep down, I actually like that sport. I then lament for a few days until realizing that I am a Reds fan and The Wife is a Pirates fan, so between us, our teams have one playoff appearance in the last sixteen years (2010 Reds, Swept in LDS). I then proceed to hate on the sport for a few days. I growl and complain about its over paid athletes and long season. I rip the league for allowing the rich teams to prosper and the poor teams to die. And fat pitchers, what’s up with that? Then I just forget about it; baseball. I can’t remember the last time I watched a full game. Even in 2010 when the Reds made it to the playoffs for the first time in fifteen years, I just shrugged it off. So why do I love baseball movies, but not baseball?

I grew up on baseball movies like Angels in the Outfield, Little Big League and the Sandlot. I also remember seeing Major League at a young age (probably too young). So what do these movies have in common? Underdogs. In every case they are about teams overcoming to achieve. I think this is at the very core of why I love baseball movies. The movies give hope that anything is possible. You know, angels coming down from heaven to help you win, eleven year olds going pro and Charlie Sheen wearing glasses so he can pitch without killing people; winning. Everyone loves a good underdog story and that’s what you get from baseball movies. Moneyball fits right into this mold with one notable difference; it is true. Moneyball made me love and hate baseball all over again. It reminded me just why the sport is great, underdogs and streaks and the history of them game, which is rivaled by no other sport. It also reminded me that the game is about the money. Spoilers follow. Despite the efforts of the characters in the movie, they didn’t win it all. The movie tries to be hopeful by suggesting that the Red Sox won a few years later using the Moneyball principles, but the fact remains that Boston is one of the rich teams.

Call me a fair weather fan all you want. My answer is that I am a devoted Browns fan; I think that pretty much kills the fair weather idea. Maybe I just don’t like baseball. I’ve never really played it (organized). But I think it’s my deep feeling that may team and in turn many teams have no real chance to win. The underdogs have no chance. They have been bled out. Of the past twenty World Series winners, only two have been out of the top twenty richest teams (Toronto and Florida). Half of those wins come from teams ranked in the top ten richest teams (Yankees, Red Sox, Phillies, Giants and Angels). Seven of the wins come from the top two teams (Yankees and Red Sox). The teams at the bottom just cannot compete with this. Sure every now and then a middle of the road team may do well and even win it all; but those are rare and become even more so. I think Moneyball gets it right and wrong. There is no romance in baseball, until there is, but even then, it’s all about the money.