Third Annual Mothman 5k

Shameless self promotion to follow...

Everyone, did you know the Wife and I put on a world class 5k road race every year? Amazing, but true. The Third Annual Mothman 5k run/walk will be commencing at 8:30 a.m. on September 15, 2012 in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. The run is in coordination with the Eleventh Annual Mothman Festival. You can pre-register for the race by going to this link, downloading the form and sending it in. Pre-registration costs $15 and ends on September 8! You can also show up the day of the race and sign up. Race day registration (or check in and pick up for those pre-registered) begins at 7 a.m. and ends at 8:15 a.m. The cost on race day is $20. The first 50 participants receive a Mothman 5k T-Shirt. All participants receive a goody bag. Optional hugs will also be on hand. Prizes will be given out for the overall Male and Female winners as well as age group winners. For more and up to date details, like Mothman5K on Facebook and follow on Twitter @mothman5k.

The race route travels through historic downtown Point Pleasant. Starting at the beautiful Tu-Endie-Wei State Park, the race travels up Main Street, past the Mothman Statue and Festival area, before turning right onto Ohio Street and then right onto Kanawha Street. A left hand turn puts you on a quick loop around the block near Harmon Park (Camden Ave. to Madison Ave. to Poplar St.) before returning you to Kanawha Street and heading back downtown the way you came. From there the course returns to Ohio Street and then finally back to Main Street. The finish line runs parallel to the iconic Mothman Statue in the heart of the Festival area.

As a former runner I can tell you this course is a lot of fun. Okay, we designed it too, so I'm biased. It is very flat save for a slight incline on Camden Ave. Except for a hundred meters or so of historic brick streets at the start, the course is all asphalt and well kept roads. The route will be well marked with signs, bright neon paint marks with a the pace car from the Point Pleasant Police Department. However, the roads are not closed to traffic during the race, so we do encourage participants to be aware. The course also crosses train tracks. No trains are scheduled at the time of the race, but we do ask participants to be advised and watch your ankles!

The start line at Tu-Endie-Wei State Park has a gorgeous view of the confluence of the Kanawha and Ohio Rivers. The Park itself has many interesting historical markers including The Point Pleasant Battle Monument, erected on October 10, 1909 as a tribute to a battle fought on the same date in 1774. The Park also has The Mansion House Museum, originally a tavern built in 1796, now a historic house museum. Very close to the start line is the Point Pleasant River Museum. The meat of the race takes you through historic downtown Point Pleasant, past the Mothman Statue and the Silver Bridge Memorial. Once the race is over we encourage all participants to stick around for the festival and explore the town of Point Pleasant.

Here is a map! To trick Google Maps I had to use a few extra Destination points (C and E). The start is Point A. Point B is the One Mile mark. Point D is the Two Mile mark. Point F is the finish line!

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Shark Week 2012

Raw Power

The Wife: After months, weeks and days of anticipation, the greatest week of television EVER is almost here! That’s right Dump readers, SHARK WEEK 2012 will begin at 9 p.m. this Sunday! The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week lineup looks epically JAWSOME as it will celebrate its 25th year of television greatness!

To quote one of my favorite comedies, “Step Brothers,” Shark Week is simply “raw power.” What’s not to love about this amazing television event? Sharks have mystified humans for years. They are fascinating creatures, specifically the great whites. Anytime I hear about a shark attack, it’s like a train wreck and I can’t stop reading or watching coverage. As inaccurate as it may be of shark behavior, “Jaws” continues to be one of my favorite movies. I even enjoy awesomely bad shark movies, like “ Deep Blue Sea ”…“A shark ate me!” – Samuel L. Jackson Voice. Sharks do get a bad rep, sadly. I am sure they would prefer a seal to human flesh, which probably tastes gross. With Shark Week, we get a glimpse into how sharks really live.

Biting into this year’s Shark Week lineup and kicking off the glorious event will be “Air Jaws Apocalypse” at 9 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 12. Air Jaws Apocalypse will pick up right where 2011’s “Ultimate Air Jaws” left off. As Ultimate Air Jaws was one of last year’s best Shark Week features, I have high expectations for Air Jaws Apocalypse, and look forward to seeing more great white shark jawsomeness! Following Air Jaws Apocalypse will be “Shark Week’s Impossible Shots,” where a team of wildlife cameramen will head to South Africa to try to secure a rare shot of a great white. If they succeed, I am sure all Shark Week enthusiasts will want the image for their computer screen savers!

Shark Week action will continue on Monday evening with “Sharkzilla” (9 p.m.). Just the name “Sharkzilla” leads me to believe that this will be epic. The special is geared to celebrate this year’s 25th anniversary of Shark Week. Throughout the special the Discovery Channel will attempt to resurrect the largest shark known to ever swim in our oceans, the Megalodon. Supposedly this shark could have ruffed up even the likes of a T-Rex, according to the Discovery Channel’s website! Starring in this special will be some of the Mythbusters team! So don’t miss the awesomely named special, Sharkzilla! If you are a Mythbusters fan, you won’t want to miss the “Mythbusters’ Jawsome Shark Special,” set to air at 10 p.m. following Sharkzilla. On Tuesday, all of you “Jaws” fans like me must tune in for “How Jaws Changed the World” (9 p.m.)

Other specials that I look forward to with this year’s Shark Week include “ Great White Highway ” (9 p.m., Thursday) and “Shark Week’s 25 Best Bites” (10 p.m., Thursday). This year’s jawsome lineup also includes: “Adrift: 47 Days With Shark” (10 p.m., Tuesday) and “Shark Fight” (9 p.m. Wednesday). A full schedule and description of shows is available at the Discovery Channel's Shark Week Page: Shark Week 2012.

So be sure to not miss this jawsome-winning event! If you are a fellow lover of Shark Week, tell us why you enjoy this television event so much! Also, make sure to check Dump on Saturday for a special post where Hobo Dan will countdown his favorite shark-themed movies!

Meltdown 2012!

Hobo Dan: So we planned to review Ted for you guys, then mother nature swung her giant ass up and around and took a huge old dump right on West Virginia, Ohio and most of the surrounding area. Power outages are everywhere. I have realized I am woefully unprepared for the end of days. What is it about these times that makes people lose their freaking minds? The heat maybe... Anyways, we are probably out of power till Thursday (if I am to believe the power company). I'm ruining my eyes and fingers typing this out on my phone for you because we left the computer at home. Oh by the way, today was supposed to be new cell phone day! Thanks a lot weather. Luckily we already have a Thursday blog queued up for you fortunate enough to have the electric sex.

We escaped to the in-laws for the time being, and the wife has settled down to watching a show called " Keeping Up With the Kardashians"? It is terrible. Seriously, why is this a TV show? Did I already die and this is my punishment? I kind of hope the power goes back out here so I don't have to watch it anymore. Ugh. Hey, keep safe, keep cool, and keep away from stray zombies...

The Wife: I always say things like "shopping is my favorite" or "napping is my favorite" for things I enjoy. Well due to the recent disaster that is this weekend, I will now proclaim electricity as my number one favorite of everything. Electric, please come back my lovely friend. If you do, I will never take you for granted again!

Well as Hobo Dan so eloquently described above, this weekend our area suffered a major storm. It all began Friday evening. We had plans to see Ted and write a review for all you fine Dump readers. I decided to take an epic after work nap (the best kind!) before we went on with our evening plans. Did I ever tell you when I'm really tired I can sleep through ANYTHING? Evidently this includes a horrendous thunderstorm and a TORNADO! Sure. Needless to say our plans were shot. We also had no food in our home. Terrific. Fortunately the Dollar General was the only store open in our area so Friday night was spent with a snack food picnic via candlelight. I should also take a moment to praise the iPad battery here. That thing allowed me to watch all of Step Brothers Friday evening and still had lots of battery remaining. I love technologyyyyyy, but not as much as you, you see...but I still love technology...always and forever!

Saturday our house turned into an oven and we baked and basically were miserable. Seriously no AC and temperatures above 100 do not equal a fun time! Fortunately my parent's home regained power so we quickly threw a bag together and have been staying there ever since. Oh blessed AC and electricity! I LOVE YOU! I was also able to even relax a little Sunday and catch up on episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. That show is pure art. HAHA! I don't care that it's silly, I enjoy it! Haters gonna hate, I guess!

In all seriousness, praise God we stayed safe through the storm and have a place to stay with power. We really miss our home but what can ya do? I just really hope this isn't the start of the zombie apocalypse like people are making it out to be! We will be on the zombie watch though!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

2012 Survival Guide

With 2012 bringing the apocalypse, I thought I’d put together a list of survival gear I find vital to living post 2012. I will remind you this list is only helpful if you actually manage to survive the initial destruction. If the end comes at the hands of a giant rouge planet or meteor smashing into Earth, this list is utterly useless. Also bear in mind you need to be smart enough to use these items. You have one year to gather and learn, good luck!

Remote Underground Survival Habitat: Your R.U.S.H. is vital to living through the 2012 Armageddon. It is a safe, warm place to kick up your heels and laugh as all the nonbelievers suffer terrible, indescribable deaths.

Water: A few months supply should get you through the onset of the end times. A good filtration system will stretch it out even longer; just don’t expect me to drink your disgusting urine water.

Food: Spam, freeze dried meats and fruits, Tang, jerky, canned goods, artificial sweeteners, powdered milk, imitation eggs, facon (fake bacon), McDonald’s French Fries; all these things will keep forever, just don’t forget the cyanide capsules for when you’ve had enough.

Clothes: The chances that the apocalypse results in a tropical, united utopian nudist colony are very very slim. Bring layers.

Weapons: I'm not hot on guns. Guns require ammo. Ammo runs out and you're left with a bludgeoning weapon at best. Take a note from The Walking Dead and get a cross bow! Or get creative and make your own tool for hunting/self defense. My head is spinning with ideas born from my office cubical; the deadly pencil cross bow! If the initial projectile doesn't get them, the lead poisoning will! Knives and swords are also good, but they make hunting particularly difficult; not impossible, just difficult. You ever try to run down a deer carrying an official movie replica of Aragorn's sword, Narsil? Didn't think so...

Companions: As much fun as Apple's Siri is, when shit goes down, she can't carry her weight. Get some people together and choose a rally point for when things go south. Store some of your crap there. Bring cookies.

Intelligence: Lets face it, the end of the world is really just a giant survival of the fittest event and some of you aren't going to make the cut.

Musical Instruments: Keeping sprits high is always important. However, the guy that brings his recorder from sixth grade should be shot on site.

Duct Tape: Seriously stock-pile this stuff! Have you even seen Mythbusters? They made a boat and a plane out of Duct Tape. Come on people!

Solar Powered Crap: If it’s solar powered it’s gold, unless of course the sun is blocked by devastating nuclear winter or volcanic ash or terrible storms or you’re forced to live underground in some sort of cave or you can only go outside at night. Hmmmm, now that I think about it, don’t let collecting them take up too much of your time.

Rope: Rope, in the hands of the properly trained person, is almost as useful as Duck Tape. But, if you’ve gathered three miles worth of rope for the end times, and don’t even know how to tie a square knot, then all you really have is three miles of rope to hang yourself with. Wait; check that, you won’t know how to tie a noose either.

A Calculator: Because I didn’t pay nearly enough attention in math class. Did you?

An Aluminum Trash Can: Put this in the basement with a radio and batteries and any other electronic devices you’d like to keep around inside of it. In the event of huge solar flair or massive EMP attack, the can will protect these items from destruction. Good luck finding a decent radio station to listen to.

A Bug Out Bag: Contains Off Bug Spray, citronella candles, matches, bug nets. Keep in mind nuclear fallout could mutate the bugs to unreasonable sizes. If you believe this actuality is likely, also include DVD copy of Starship Troopers for training in large bug extermination.

DVD Player: How else do you plan on watching Starship Troopers?

Metallica’s Black Album: At some point you will have to make your final stand against the forces of evil in the brutal post-2012 world, wouldn’t you like to do so with a proper soundtrack?

Scuba Gear: Particularly if you live east of the Appalachian Mountains or west of the Rocky Mountains and it's a glacial melt situation.

A Doctor: You probably don’t have time to go to med school, so convince a Doctor to come live in your R.U.S.H. until at least February 1, 2013. Bend the definition of the word “convince” if necessary.

Pie Making Materials: Who wants to live in a world without pie?

A Clock: Seriously, the clock we keep in our living room died a few weeks ago. I am so disoriented. When should I eat or sleep? This sun dial isn't compatible with my energy saving light bulbs for some reason.