Monday, January 23, 2012

Review: Underworld Awakening

Hobo Dan: Well... it was better than Abduction. I don't know if I've ever seen a film that seemed more phoned in than Underworld: Awakening. It was pretty obvious to me that Kate Beckinsale was in this film simply to fulfill contract obligations. The third (I don't recognize the most recent prequel) film in the Underworld franchise, this is set twelve years after the second film, Underworld Evolution. It's been five years since that movie and wow have vampire movies changed. So on some level I am happy to see a vampire movie that returns to the traditional vampires that don't glow in the sun light and have teenage romances. Unfortunately, no amount of blood, guts, tight fitting leather and 3D effects could have saved this movie.

Let's get right to it. About an hour into the film I was hooked. Yes, this is getting good. Here is the Underworld I remember! Twenty minutes later it ended. Seriously. This comes in at an hour twenty with credits and previews! Sad face... It seems like they film two movies at the same time, found a good place to spilt them up, and we can expect to see Underworld Awakening Part 2 around July; only that's not the case. Chances are we are looking at another five years for the next one (if ever). I guess I don't know what I expected. Did I even like these movies the first time around? It has been awhile but I don't remember some of the terrible direction from the first two. Lets talk about accents. I remember the other films in the franchise being British sounding. So why are half the actors in this British and half American? It's twelve years in the future, why does everything look the same? Why was the only nudity in this movie the ass of some dude about to turn into a werewolf? We will never know.

If you liked the first films, consider getting it on Blu-ray, otherwise avoid it. We need to teach the movie makers this kind of half baked money grab is not acceptable. I expected better.

The Wife: Yeah what he said...except for the whole nudity thing. I really thought "wow the plot is finally getting somewhere" and was totally hooked, but then the credits rolled. I better not have to wait another five years for the next movie! Another prequel (which I also don't recognize) doesn't count!

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