Review: The Campaign

The Wife: With two new movies coming out, The Campaign and The Bourne Legacy, we had to pick one to see first. Well, for those of you that actually know me, you know that there was really no contest. While I enjoy the Bourne series, Will Ferrell movies will always win out! Plus a Bourne movie without Matt Damon can wait another week.

I carry a biased opinion somewhat because as mentioned above, I love Will Ferrell movies. Pairing him with The Hangover’s Zach Galifianakis seemed like a recipe of pure, comedic gold for me, so The Campaign = a win-win situation. Not to mention a movie that mocks both sides of the political spectrum was the perfect medicine after weeks of reading useless, pointless, annoying Facebook arguments regarding the upcoming Presidential election. Well, The Campaign was exactly what I hoped and expected it to be: a couple hours of sheer stupidity and hilarious comedy. Ferrell was at his best, as usual, and Galifianakis simply added to the hilarity. Also, the brief appearance from Jason Sudeikis, who play’s Ferrell’s character’s campaign advisor, was notable as well.

The name of the movie is pretty self-explanatory as the movie centers on the election of Democrat Incumbent Cam Brady (Ferrell) and Republican new-comer and challenger, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis). Of course, the two engage in entertaining debates filled with stupid rhetoric as well as take part in ridiculous campaign mudslinging. Much of these things pokes fun at our current political debates/issues, which at times was scary since so much of what was on screen actually does happen in some (less funny, of course), way. There is a moral of the story at some point as the movie does have a semi-plot, but come one folks, a plot and moral is not why we watch Will Ferrell movies. And if you do watch his movies seeking these things then you really need to re-think your life.

Overall, The Campaign was simply put (as I’ve said way too many times in this review) hilarious. Fortunately, not all funny parts were shown in the previews, which sadly happens with many comedies. I enjoyed that this movie mocked politics as well as poked fun at “both sides” of the political spectrum. Sometimes you just need to laugh and you need a stupid movie, where you don’t have to use too much brain power. Frankly, for those of you who are on the anti-funny movie train, please grow a sense of humor. Not everything you see needs to be Oscar-worthy. If you are one of those types, I truly feel sorry for you. Lighten up! If you are as jaded with politics as I am and love Will Ferrell movies, then by all means head to the theatre for this one. However, if you enjoy funny movies but want to save your money, then this would be ok to wait for Netflix too as it really isn’t anything new from Ferrell (which is fine by me).

Hobo Dan: If you have seen any Will Ferrell movie ever made, you have a good idea what to expect from The Campaign. He is the quintessential dumb, slap stick, bumbling fool everyone loves to laugh at. Every movie he is in turns into this. Pay no attention to any of the other actors in the film; Will is here to be Will. I thought Zach Galifianakis could overcome this effect. I was wrong. Zach is totally over shadowed by the dumbness of Will Ferrell in this movie. I usually get a good laugh or two from Galifianakis and his subtle facial expressions, but he seemed totally lost in The Campaign. Lost, or in awe of just how dumb Will Ferrell really can be.

Don’t get me wrong, this movie had some really funny parts. I laughed. But nothing took me rolling into the aisles, giggling wildly as slurpee spews from my nostrils. I don’t know if Ferrell and company have lost a step, or just keep repeating the same old antics to the point that I am now immune to that form of idiocy. I suspect the latter. I never thought this could be true, but maybe I can only laugh at a full grown man acting like a retarded twelve year old so many times. Please understand, this kind of comedy has its place. I loved Anchorman and Talladega Nights. Step Brothers is the underrated king of the Will Ferrell genre in my opinion. I just think at this point in my life (and after the endless string of movies like this), I am ready for something a little more clever than crass. If you still hold a special place in your heart for Will Ferrell, then go see this, otherwise wait for the DVD release.

Ten Shark Movies!

In honor of Shark Week 2012, The Wife asked that I put together a comprehensive list of the ten greatest shark movies of all time. I went into my troll cave and made this list instead. The following shark movies may (and in many cases may not) be any good at all...

Number 10: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
I have not seen this movie. I searched for Shark movies to research this post. As soon as I saw the title of this film, I knew it had to be included. I never plan to see this movie nor watch the trailer, or even read a plot synopsis. No, I think all I need to know is in the title: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. That about sums it up. Sure, never judge a book by its cover, but I seriously doubt this is really a commentary on current race relations in the United States or a savy political drama about money, power, corruption and George Clooney. I'm pretty sure its about a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus who get into a fight over some poorly written plot points.

Number 9: Shark Night 3D
Here is the IMDB description of this movie: "A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to shark attacks." Umm... So... don't get in the water? The IMDB entry goes on to read "They soon come to the realization that 15 species of sharks are lurking in the water, and with no form of boat or transportation, and no signals for phone's, the group of seven now face a fate they would never imagine." No, stop it. Really? Did anyone see this movie. Why?

Number 8: Blood Surf
I have a feeling that this is a bad movie. Want proof?


Number 7: Any Given Sunday
The gripping tale of the Miami Sharks professional football team as it struggles with injuries and egos must rank among the great shark films ever made because it's my list and I say so. Plus it has Al Pacino, who looks like a man shaped shark...

Number 6: Raging Shark
The plot of Raging Shark: Doctor Mike Olsen returns from his oceanic observation station, where his wife Linda feels in charge, when it's reported in desperate trouble after a sudden shark attack wrecked the oxygen supply. The accompanying ship and even the coast guard are also attacked, and soon other sites in and around the Bermuda triangle, where a few years earlier an alien space-ship crashed, which now seeps a mysterious organic crystal. The US Navy sends a submarine, which also carries bureaucrat Ben Stiles, who berates safety and other violations aboard. More dangers lurk inside as getting out proves physically daunting. It made the six spot just for that.

Number 5: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Stay with me here. During the second task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the competitor for Durmstrang, Victor Krum, morphs himself into a shark to recover something the merpeople have taken into the Black Lake. Shark movie.

Number 4: Jaws 2
Not really a bad movie. It couldn't possibly live up to the original, but still not a bad movie.

Number 3: Shark Tale
Okay so this is actually a pretty good movie, even if it is reactionary a Finding Nemo rip off. Ever notice the rule of two in movies? When Volcano came out, so did Dante's Peak. Armageddon, Deep Impact. It goes on and on. Generally one is considered good and the other repetitive rubbish. Well Shark Tale is actually pretty entertaining as kid movies go.

Number 2:  Deep Blue Sea
"They ate me! A mother f***ing shark ATE ME!"

Number 1: Jaws
Seriously, there is no better shark movie. Despite giving sharks a very negative stereotype that persists even today, Jaws is one great movie. It is without question the greatest shark movie ever made and must be at least in the top 100 films of all time. Now excuse me, I have to go follow The Wife around as she shops for clothes; should I  hum the Jaws soundtrack as I mindlessly stalk the isles?

Shark Week 2012

Raw Power

The Wife: After months, weeks and days of anticipation, the greatest week of television EVER is almost here! That’s right Dump readers, SHARK WEEK 2012 will begin at 9 p.m. this Sunday! The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week lineup looks epically JAWSOME as it will celebrate its 25th year of television greatness!

To quote one of my favorite comedies, “Step Brothers,” Shark Week is simply “raw power.” What’s not to love about this amazing television event? Sharks have mystified humans for years. They are fascinating creatures, specifically the great whites. Anytime I hear about a shark attack, it’s like a train wreck and I can’t stop reading or watching coverage. As inaccurate as it may be of shark behavior, “Jaws” continues to be one of my favorite movies. I even enjoy awesomely bad shark movies, like “ Deep Blue Sea ”…“A shark ate me!” – Samuel L. Jackson Voice. Sharks do get a bad rep, sadly. I am sure they would prefer a seal to human flesh, which probably tastes gross. With Shark Week, we get a glimpse into how sharks really live.

Biting into this year’s Shark Week lineup and kicking off the glorious event will be “Air Jaws Apocalypse” at 9 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 12. Air Jaws Apocalypse will pick up right where 2011’s “Ultimate Air Jaws” left off. As Ultimate Air Jaws was one of last year’s best Shark Week features, I have high expectations for Air Jaws Apocalypse, and look forward to seeing more great white shark jawsomeness! Following Air Jaws Apocalypse will be “Shark Week’s Impossible Shots,” where a team of wildlife cameramen will head to South Africa to try to secure a rare shot of a great white. If they succeed, I am sure all Shark Week enthusiasts will want the image for their computer screen savers!

Shark Week action will continue on Monday evening with “Sharkzilla” (9 p.m.). Just the name “Sharkzilla” leads me to believe that this will be epic. The special is geared to celebrate this year’s 25th anniversary of Shark Week. Throughout the special the Discovery Channel will attempt to resurrect the largest shark known to ever swim in our oceans, the Megalodon. Supposedly this shark could have ruffed up even the likes of a T-Rex, according to the Discovery Channel’s website! Starring in this special will be some of the Mythbusters team! So don’t miss the awesomely named special, Sharkzilla! If you are a Mythbusters fan, you won’t want to miss the “Mythbusters’ Jawsome Shark Special,” set to air at 10 p.m. following Sharkzilla. On Tuesday, all of you “Jaws” fans like me must tune in for “How Jaws Changed the World” (9 p.m.)

Other specials that I look forward to with this year’s Shark Week include “ Great White Highway ” (9 p.m., Thursday) and “Shark Week’s 25 Best Bites” (10 p.m., Thursday). This year’s jawsome lineup also includes: “Adrift: 47 Days With Shark” (10 p.m., Tuesday) and “Shark Fight” (9 p.m. Wednesday). A full schedule and description of shows is available at the Discovery Channel's Shark Week Page: Shark Week 2012.

So be sure to not miss this jawsome-winning event! If you are a fellow lover of Shark Week, tell us why you enjoy this television event so much! Also, make sure to check Dump on Saturday for a special post where Hobo Dan will countdown his favorite shark-themed movies!

Review: Total Recall

Hobo Dan: Well, shockingly, Total Recall, the remake (or reboot, what are we calling this?) of a terrible 90's science fiction movie was, terrible. Okay it wasn't Abduction or Twilight terrible, but thinking about it has given me an ulcer. I go on and on about the lack of originality in movies these days. Then the opening credits to this film roll and I see it is made by Original Films! Ha! The irony of a remake being produced by a company called Original Films isn't lost on me Hollywood . Further more, did anyone really like the original 1990 Total Recall that much? Did it really warrant a remake? Or is it just fun to spend millions of dollars to make steaming piles of crap and sell it to movie goers at extorted prices?

What can I say, the story was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The acting was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The graphics were sufficiently believable at putting you in a dystopian future, but I was left wanting more. Every time we saw big scene of sprawling city, I wanted it to pan out just a little more and really show me something, but it never did. I guess the cash to generate the extra pixels required came up short. I was left feeling like this world just wasn't real. Multiple levels have been built above London , but how were they just floating there? What holds all this up? Then they have a train line that runs through the center of the earth and takes you to the colony ( Australia ). I know it's science fiction, but I am to believe that after the world was poisoned, nuked and blasted to hell, the two remaining habitable places (England and Australia) had the resources to bore a tunnel through the earth (including the core which is just absurd in its own rights) and run a regular on time train? Ha, the train being on time is laughable.

I am being mean? There were some good parts. For instance... nope can't do it. Don't see this movie, it is bad. The action is boring. The acting is not good. The story is bad, but not bad enough to be funny (which has saved movies in the past). It's just bad. Go see The Dark Knight Rises again. Or rent the original, at least it had Arnold Schwarzenegger in it to laugh at...

The Wife: Well, I thought I enjoyed Total Recall far less than Hobo Dan, but judging from his scathing review above, maybe that isn’t so. First off, I’ve never seen the original Total Recall. So, if you are looking for a comparison from me you are out of luck. Despite not seeing the original, I thought this re-boot of Total Recall looked mildly entertaining. That coupled with my enjoyment of going to the movie theatre led me to see this film. Oh and I suppose Colin Farrell was a contributing factor. Eye candy!

Well, just as I expected, Total Recall was in fact, mildly entertaining at best. I was never really bored during the movie, but I certainly wasn’t blown away. I obviously didn’t expect it to even come close to the same realm of awesomeness that is The Dark Knight Rises, but I would have preferred to see it again as opposed to Total Recall. If you enjoy a sci-fi flick with a bit of cheese on the side mixed in with lots of mediocre but “cool looking” action sequences, then this may be the film for you. As someone who hates films that simply rely on action to carry a plot, Total Recall really wasn’t my cup of tea. Action aside, the plot was all over the place and there appeared to be a few plot holes left unanswered or at least, not logically explained, however that’s to be expected with the premise of a film like Total Recall. I didn’t find it confusing, but I was annoyed. Some elements did catch me by surprise but I still feel like certain plot point actions weren’t properly explained or the least bit believable. Then again, is Total Recall a film that is meant to be realistic? Absolutely not, so I can deal with the expected plot holes. Another irritation was the fact that despite all the non-stop running around/dodging fires/bullets etc., Kate Beckinsale’s character’s hair never once looked messed up and her curls continued to look perfectly done. Her makeup was perfect and she only appeared slightly sweaty once. This sets up poor expectations for the idiot male viewer who thinks all women must look like that in those situations. Kate Beckinsale is beautiful, but in real life her curls would at least appear a bit messy and her makeup smudged if she was running around that much. That’s a fail for you, hair/makeup department. At least they made Jessica Biel’s character look ragged and run-down to show how much “running around/bullet dodging/etc. she did.

Acting-wise, despite Farrell’s charming good looks, he didn’t really impress or disappoint. He was just kind of…there. While I am sure most men enjoyed watching Biel and Beckinsale run around, their acting was mediocre at best. Especially, Biel , who just came off as blah and appeared to seem like she was only doing the movie for a paycheck. I’ve seen all three of these actors do better in other roles so who knows why they came off as so “blah” in Total Recall? Perhaps a bad script? Boredom?

In closing, Total Recall wasn’t awful and as I said above, it was mildly entertaining. Despite the mildly entertaining aspect, I am placing Total Recall as the worst movie I’ve seen in 2012. I find it funny that I saw the best movie of 2012 (Dark Knight Rises) only a couple weeks before (and no, that didn’t affect my judgment whatsoever). Unless you enjoy this type of action jumbled/cheesy film or were a fan of the original, I’d consider waiting to Netflix this one.

London 2012 Summer Olympics

The Wife: Well as of today we are about one week into the London 2012 Summer Olympics! We originally intended this post to publish last week to serve as a kick-off to the games, but as they say, life happens, and we too, got caught up in the impending Olympics excitement!

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the Olympics, specifically the summer games. In a world where things are far from perfect and countries are often at odds, it is a beautiful thing that we can still have an event that brings people together from all nations to celebrate our gifted athletes. Not to mention, the Olympics is a chance for non-mainstream sports to shine. The Olympics have provided me with so many great memories. I will never forget the man with the golden shoes, the incredible Michael Johnson, dominate the 200m and 400m in track at the Atlanta ’96 games. I also will never forget the Magnificent Seven of the ’96 games! Watching Keri Strug land on one leg after her vault to seal Team USA ’s victory is just one of those epic sports moments that will live on forever. More recently, how could I forget the dominance of swimmer, Michael Phelps? Seeing him specifically dominate in Beijing ‘08 solidified him as one of the best athletes of all time. Even though his time in London hasn’t been quite as magical, with these games Phelps has already achieved the status of the most decorated Olympian of all time and will certainly go down in history as one of the greats.

While I enjoy the winter games for figure skating and the occasional round of curling (hey, curling CAN be entertaining), the Summer Olympics are by far my favorite. Nearly all of the events are entertaining, and the summer games feature my two favorite events, Track and Field and Gymnastics! I also really enjoy the Marathon , Swimming, Diving, Archery, Beach Volleyball and Cycling. The list could go on and on as I try to catch as much Olympic coverage as possible! However, it is my first mentioned favorite, Track and Field, that means the most to me. As a former collegiate track and field athlete, I love seeing MY SPORT shine on television every four years. Track is typically one of the sports that no one cares about, with the exception of those of us in the running community. Therefore, I love seeing it take center stage at the Olympics! I ran track for 14 years, starting as a wee little third grader, and the sport will always be a part of me and dear to me. Although I run primarily for fitness now and have hung up my competitive shoes, I still keep up with the sport and love watching track and field events. Even if I watch track on television, I still get those familiar butterflies in my stomach when the runners toe the line to begin. The Olympics have provided us with so many phenomenal moments in the sport of Track and Field, including 2008’s emergence and dominance of Jamaica ’s Usain Bolt. Man, can that guy fly! While I am all for TEAM USA , I can’t wait to see what Bolt does in London ! I also hope to see our Men’s and Women’s 4x1 teams reclaim gold! I can’t forget Bernard Lagat either, and I really hope he has a good showing at these games. While sprinters are at the forefront of the games, as a former mid-distance and distance track girl, I can’t wait to see the longer events unfold, including the 10,000! It should definitely be an exciting Olympics for Track and Field, and I hope to see many records broken this year!

Already we have had a fabulous 2012 Summer Olympics. This year’s Opening Ceremonies alone were beautiful. The torch lighting was the best I’ve ever seen and really signified the true meaning of the games. So far Team USA has performed great as well. I’ve already been brought to tears seeing our Women’s Gymnastics Team get the gold, as I’ve waited for Team USA to win since the Magnificent Seven in ’96. It was also emotional seeing Phelps finally break the record and become the most decorated Olympian of all time. As Track and Field and many other events are still to come, I am sure we are in for a treat with these summer games!

If you love the Olympics, feel free to share some of your favorite Olympics moments. GO TEAM USA !!!