In honor of Shark Week 2012, The Wife asked that I put together a comprehensive list of the ten greatest shark movies of all time. I went into my troll cave and made this list instead. The following shark movies may (and in many cases may not) be any good at all...
Number 10: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
I have not seen this movie. I searched for Shark movies to research this post. As soon as I saw the title of this film, I knew it had to be included. I never plan to see this movie nor watch the trailer, or even read a plot synopsis. No, I think all I need to know is in the title: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. That about sums it up. Sure, never judge a book by its cover, but I seriously doubt this is really a commentary on current race relations in the United States or a savy political drama about money, power, corruption and George Clooney. I'm pretty sure its about a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus who get into a fight over some poorly written plot points.
Number 9: Shark Night 3D
Here is the IMDB description of this movie: "A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to shark attacks." Umm... So... don't get in the water? The IMDB entry goes on to read "They soon come to the realization that 15 species of sharks are lurking in the water, and with no form of boat or transportation, and no signals for phone's, the group of seven now face a fate they would never imagine." No, stop it. Really? Did anyone see this movie. Why?
Number 8: Blood Surf
I have a feeling that this is a bad movie. Want proof?
Number 7: Any Given Sunday
The gripping tale of the Miami Sharks professional football team as it struggles with injuries and egos must rank among the great shark films ever made because it's my list and I say so. Plus it has Al Pacino, who looks like a man shaped shark...
Number 6: Raging Shark
The plot of Raging Shark: Doctor Mike Olsen returns from his oceanic observation station, where his wife Linda feels in charge, when it's reported in desperate trouble after a sudden shark attack wrecked the oxygen supply. The accompanying ship and even the coast guard are also attacked, and soon other sites in and around the Bermuda triangle, where a few years earlier an alien space-ship crashed, which now seeps a mysterious organic crystal. The US Navy sends a submarine, which also carries bureaucrat Ben Stiles, who berates safety and other violations aboard. More dangers lurk inside as getting out proves physically daunting. It made the six spot just for that.
Number 5: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Stay with me here. During the second task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the competitor for Durmstrang, Victor Krum, morphs himself into a shark to recover something the merpeople have taken into the Black Lake. Shark movie.
Number 4: Jaws 2
Not really a bad movie. It couldn't possibly live up to the original, but still not a bad movie.
Number 3: Shark Tale
Okay so this is actually a pretty good movie, even if it is reactionary a Finding Nemo rip off. Ever notice the rule of two in movies? When Volcano came out, so did Dante's Peak. Armageddon, Deep Impact. It goes on and on. Generally one is considered good and the other repetitive rubbish. Well Shark Tale is actually pretty entertaining as kid movies go.
Number 2: Deep Blue Sea
"They ate me! A mother f***ing shark ATE ME!"
Number 1: Jaws
Seriously, there is no better shark movie. Despite giving sharks a very negative stereotype that persists even today, Jaws is one great movie. It is without question the greatest shark movie ever made and must be at least in the top 100 films of all time. Now excuse me, I have to go follow The Wife around as she shops for clothes; should I hum the Jaws soundtrack as I mindlessly stalk the isles?
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Shark Week 2012
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| Raw Power |
To quote one of my favorite comedies, “Step Brothers,” Shark Week is simply “raw power.” What’s not to love about this amazing television event? Sharks have mystified humans for years. They are fascinating creatures, specifically the great whites. Anytime I hear about a shark attack, it’s like a train wreck and I can’t stop reading or watching coverage. As inaccurate as it may be of shark behavior, “Jaws” continues to be one of my favorite movies. I even enjoy awesomely bad shark movies, like “ Deep Blue Sea ”…“A shark ate me!” – Samuel L. Jackson Voice. Sharks do get a bad rep, sadly. I am sure they would prefer a seal to human flesh, which probably tastes gross. With Shark Week, we get a glimpse into how sharks really live.
Biting into this year’s Shark Week lineup and kicking off the glorious event will be “Air Jaws Apocalypse” at 9 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 12. Air Jaws Apocalypse will pick up right where 2011’s “Ultimate Air Jaws” left off. As Ultimate Air Jaws was one of last year’s best Shark Week features, I have high expectations for Air Jaws Apocalypse, and look forward to seeing more great white shark jawsomeness! Following Air Jaws Apocalypse will be “Shark Week’s Impossible Shots,” where a team of wildlife cameramen will head to South Africa to try to secure a rare shot of a great white. If they succeed, I am sure all Shark Week enthusiasts will want the image for their computer screen savers!
Shark Week action will continue on Monday evening with “Sharkzilla” (9 p.m.). Just the name “Sharkzilla” leads me to believe that this will be epic. The special is geared to celebrate this year’s 25th anniversary of Shark Week. Throughout the special the Discovery Channel will attempt to resurrect the largest shark known to ever swim in our oceans, the Megalodon. Supposedly this shark could have ruffed up even the likes of a T-Rex, according to the Discovery Channel’s website! Starring in this special will be some of the Mythbusters team! So don’t miss the awesomely named special, Sharkzilla! If you are a Mythbusters fan, you won’t want to miss the “Mythbusters’ Jawsome Shark Special,” set to air at 10 p.m. following Sharkzilla. On Tuesday, all of you “Jaws” fans like me must tune in for “How Jaws Changed the World” (9 p.m.)
Other specials that I look forward to with this year’s Shark Week include “ Great White Highway ” (9 p.m., Thursday) and “Shark Week’s 25 Best Bites” (10 p.m., Thursday). This year’s jawsome lineup also includes: “Adrift: 47 Days With Shark” (10 p.m., Tuesday) and “Shark Fight” (9 p.m. Wednesday). A full schedule and description of shows is available at the Discovery Channel's Shark Week Page: Shark Week 2012.
So be sure to not miss this jawsome-winning event! If you are a fellow lover of Shark Week, tell us why you enjoy this television event so much! Also, make sure to check Dump on Saturday for a special post where Hobo Dan will countdown his favorite shark-themed movies!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Review: Total Recall
What can I say, the story was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The acting was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The graphics were sufficiently believable at putting you in a dystopian future, but I was left wanting more. Every time we saw big scene of sprawling city, I wanted it to pan out just a little more and really show me something, but it never did. I guess the cash to generate the extra pixels required came up short. I was left feeling like this world just wasn't real. Multiple levels have been built above London , but how were they just floating there? What holds all this up? Then they have a train line that runs through the center of the earth and takes you to the colony ( Australia ). I know it's science fiction, but I am to believe that after the world was poisoned, nuked and blasted to hell, the two remaining habitable places (England and Australia) had the resources to bore a tunnel through the earth (including the core which is just absurd in its own rights) and run a regular on time train? Ha, the train being on time is laughable.
I am being mean? There were some good parts. For instance... nope can't do it. Don't see this movie, it is bad. The action is boring. The acting is not good. The story is bad, but not bad enough to be funny (which has saved movies in the past). It's just bad. Go see The Dark Knight Rises again. Or rent the original, at least it had Arnold Schwarzenegger in it to laugh at...
The Wife: Well, I thought I enjoyed Total Recall far less than Hobo Dan, but judging from his scathing review above, maybe that isn’t so. First off, I’ve never seen the original Total Recall. So, if you are looking for a comparison from me you are out of luck. Despite not seeing the original, I thought this re-boot of Total Recall looked mildly entertaining. That coupled with my enjoyment of going to the movie theatre led me to see this film. Oh and I suppose Colin Farrell was a contributing factor. Eye candy!
Well, just as I expected, Total Recall was in fact, mildly entertaining at best. I was never really bored during the movie, but I certainly wasn’t blown away. I obviously didn’t expect it to even come close to the same realm of awesomeness that is The Dark Knight Rises, but I would have preferred to see it again as opposed to Total Recall. If you enjoy a sci-fi flick with a bit of cheese on the side mixed in with lots of mediocre but “cool looking” action sequences, then this may be the film for you. As someone who hates films that simply rely on action to carry a plot, Total Recall really wasn’t my cup of tea. Action aside, the plot was all over the place and there appeared to be a few plot holes left unanswered or at least, not logically explained, however that’s to be expected with the premise of a film like Total Recall. I didn’t find it confusing, but I was annoyed. Some elements did catch me by surprise but I still feel like certain plot point actions weren’t properly explained or the least bit believable. Then again, is Total Recall a film that is meant to be realistic? Absolutely not, so I can deal with the expected plot holes. Another irritation was the fact that despite all the non-stop running around/dodging fires/bullets etc., Kate Beckinsale’s character’s hair never once looked messed up and her curls continued to look perfectly done. Her makeup was perfect and she only appeared slightly sweaty once. This sets up poor expectations for the idiot male viewer who thinks all women must look like that in those situations. Kate Beckinsale is beautiful, but in real life her curls would at least appear a bit messy and her makeup smudged if she was running around that much. That’s a fail for you, hair/makeup department. At least they made Jessica Biel’s character look ragged and run-down to show how much “running around/bullet dodging/etc. she did.
Acting-wise, despite Farrell’s charming good looks, he didn’t really impress or disappoint. He was just kind of…there. While I am sure most men enjoyed watching Biel and Beckinsale run around, their acting was mediocre at best. Especially, Biel , who just came off as blah and appeared to seem like she was only doing the movie for a paycheck. I’ve seen all three of these actors do better in other roles so who knows why they came off as so “blah” in Total Recall? Perhaps a bad script? Boredom?
In closing, Total Recall wasn’t awful and as I said above, it was mildly entertaining. Despite the mildly entertaining aspect, I am placing Total Recall as the worst movie I’ve seen in 2012. I find it funny that I saw the best movie of 2012 (Dark Knight Rises) only a couple weeks before (and no, that didn’t affect my judgment whatsoever). Unless you enjoy this type of action jumbled/cheesy film or were a fan of the original, I’d consider waiting to Netflix this one.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
London 2012 Summer Olympics
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the Olympics, specifically the summer games. In a world where things are far from perfect and countries are often at odds, it is a beautiful thing that we can still have an event that brings people together from all nations to celebrate our gifted athletes. Not to mention, the Olympics is a chance for non-mainstream sports to shine. The Olympics have provided me with so many great memories. I will never forget the man with the golden shoes, the incredible Michael Johnson, dominate the 200m and 400m in track at the Atlanta ’96 games. I also will never forget the Magnificent Seven of the ’96 games! Watching Keri Strug land on one leg after her vault to seal Team USA ’s victory is just one of those epic sports moments that will live on forever. More recently, how could I forget the dominance of swimmer, Michael Phelps? Seeing him specifically dominate in Beijing ‘08 solidified him as one of the best athletes of all time. Even though his time in London hasn’t been quite as magical, with these games Phelps has already achieved the status of the most decorated Olympian of all time and will certainly go down in history as one of the greats.
While I enjoy the winter games for figure skating and the occasional round of curling (hey, curling CAN be entertaining), the Summer Olympics are by far my favorite. Nearly all of the events are entertaining, and the summer games feature my two favorite events, Track and Field and Gymnastics! I also really enjoy the Marathon , Swimming, Diving, Archery, Beach Volleyball and Cycling. The list could go on and on as I try to catch as much Olympic coverage as possible! However, it is my first mentioned favorite, Track and Field, that means the most to me. As a former collegiate track and field athlete, I love seeing MY SPORT shine on television every four years. Track is typically one of the sports that no one cares about, with the exception of those of us in the running community. Therefore, I love seeing it take center stage at the Olympics! I ran track for 14 years, starting as a wee little third grader, and the sport will always be a part of me and dear to me. Although I run primarily for fitness now and have hung up my competitive shoes, I still keep up with the sport and love watching track and field events. Even if I watch track on television, I still get those familiar butterflies in my stomach when the runners toe the line to begin. The Olympics have provided us with so many phenomenal moments in the sport of Track and Field, including 2008’s emergence and dominance of Jamaica ’s Usain Bolt. Man, can that guy fly! While I am all for TEAM USA , I can’t wait to see what Bolt does in London ! I also hope to see our Men’s and Women’s 4x1 teams reclaim gold! I can’t forget Bernard Lagat either, and I really hope he has a good showing at these games. While sprinters are at the forefront of the games, as a former mid-distance and distance track girl, I can’t wait to see the longer events unfold, including the 10,000! It should definitely be an exciting Olympics for Track and Field, and I hope to see many records broken this year!
Already we have had a fabulous 2012 Summer Olympics. This year’s Opening Ceremonies alone were beautiful. The torch lighting was the best I’ve ever seen and really signified the true meaning of the games. So far Team USA has performed great as well. I’ve already been brought to tears seeing our Women’s Gymnastics Team get the gold, as I’ve waited for Team USA to win since the Magnificent Seven in ’96. It was also emotional seeing Phelps finally break the record and become the most decorated Olympian of all time. As Track and Field and many other events are still to come, I am sure we are in for a treat with these summer games!
If you love the Olympics, feel free to share some of your favorite Olympics moments. GO TEAM USA !!!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Best Picture Project 12, Annie Hall
Best Picture Project is back! I know we have been slacking big time on this project. We promise to get down to it. It sure is hard to type with my fingers crossed...
Annie Hall, 1977
The Wife: I initially was slightly concerned that Annie Hall would be too dated to have the comedic appeal it carried during its 1970s release. However, all of these concerns were erased within the first few minutes of the film. Woody Allen really is the movie genius that he is labeled to be. Even in 2012, Annie Hall was still a hilarious, fun and insightful film to watch.
The movie, which stars Allen, as well as one of my favorite actresses, Diane Keaton, is set in New York City. Annie Hall centers around the characters of Alvy Singer (Allen) and Annie (Keaton). It focuses on the journey of the pair’s relationship, and through great acting and comedic elements, outlines the up’s and down’s that the two encounter. There is emotion within the film, but it is nicely balanced with laughter and to an extent, sarcasm. Both characters have their flaws and “big personalities,” which all contribute to the scope of their relationship. While the movie’s end might leave a sour taste in some people’s mouths, it really worked for Annie Hall. My hopeless romantic side was left with an “aawww bummer” feeling but my realism side was left feeling satisfied with the film’s conclusion.
Annie Hall is probably one of the few if only “romantic comedies” to win Best Picture. This is probably due to the film’s unconventional ending as well as Allen’s creativity, which works to separate it and puts it miles above traditional romantic comedies in terms of quality. As a fashion lover, I can’t go without commenting on Keaton’s wardrobe for the film. The men’s ties and hats really did inspire a new style during the 70s. My mother even told me that she remembered many women trying to emulate Keaton’s Annie Hall style. You know a film leaves a dent in pop culture phenomenon when it spurs fashion trends! Overall, I would say that Annie Hall was certainly deserving of its Best Picture title. If you haven’t seen this wonderful, timeless film, then make time to do so!
Hobo Dan: I never know what to expect from these older films. Annie Hall was thankfully anything but an older film. It could have very well came out today and been just as entertaining. Actually, it is far more entertaining than a majority of romantic comedies these days. I generally dislike the genre all together because they are all the same. Guy and girl meet, have a good time and fall in love; conflict is then introduced followed by reconciliation. Rinse and repeat. Annie Hall is not the same. It isn't necessarily about the guy and the girl as it is about their impacts on each others lives. I'd put it right up there with When Harry met Sally as the best in the category (yes, I know that one kinda follows the aforementioned genre formula I profess to hate, sue me it's my blog).
This is actually my first Woody Allen film. I enjoyed it, probably because I live for sarcasm. The writing is smart and the acting is good. I get the feeling Woody Allen plays himself, but that's okay because himself is pretty entertaining.
Now, I do have to mention one of the other films nominated in 1977, the year Annie Hall won. A small indy film called Star Wars. Incidentally it is one of my favorite movies of all time; the original, I am not talking about the trilogy, or the prequels, or any subsequent special editions, cartoons, holidays specials or 3D re-releases. They are vastly different films, obviously. The original Star Wars changed film making forever. No one had ever seen anything like it in 1977. That said, I will not refute Annie Hall's claim to the Oscar. It is a wonderful film.
Annie Hall, 1977
The movie, which stars Allen, as well as one of my favorite actresses, Diane Keaton, is set in New York City. Annie Hall centers around the characters of Alvy Singer (Allen) and Annie (Keaton). It focuses on the journey of the pair’s relationship, and through great acting and comedic elements, outlines the up’s and down’s that the two encounter. There is emotion within the film, but it is nicely balanced with laughter and to an extent, sarcasm. Both characters have their flaws and “big personalities,” which all contribute to the scope of their relationship. While the movie’s end might leave a sour taste in some people’s mouths, it really worked for Annie Hall. My hopeless romantic side was left with an “aawww bummer” feeling but my realism side was left feeling satisfied with the film’s conclusion.
Annie Hall is probably one of the few if only “romantic comedies” to win Best Picture. This is probably due to the film’s unconventional ending as well as Allen’s creativity, which works to separate it and puts it miles above traditional romantic comedies in terms of quality. As a fashion lover, I can’t go without commenting on Keaton’s wardrobe for the film. The men’s ties and hats really did inspire a new style during the 70s. My mother even told me that she remembered many women trying to emulate Keaton’s Annie Hall style. You know a film leaves a dent in pop culture phenomenon when it spurs fashion trends! Overall, I would say that Annie Hall was certainly deserving of its Best Picture title. If you haven’t seen this wonderful, timeless film, then make time to do so!
Hobo Dan: I never know what to expect from these older films. Annie Hall was thankfully anything but an older film. It could have very well came out today and been just as entertaining. Actually, it is far more entertaining than a majority of romantic comedies these days. I generally dislike the genre all together because they are all the same. Guy and girl meet, have a good time and fall in love; conflict is then introduced followed by reconciliation. Rinse and repeat. Annie Hall is not the same. It isn't necessarily about the guy and the girl as it is about their impacts on each others lives. I'd put it right up there with When Harry met Sally as the best in the category (yes, I know that one kinda follows the aforementioned genre formula I profess to hate, sue me it's my blog).
This is actually my first Woody Allen film. I enjoyed it, probably because I live for sarcasm. The writing is smart and the acting is good. I get the feeling Woody Allen plays himself, but that's okay because himself is pretty entertaining.
Now, I do have to mention one of the other films nominated in 1977, the year Annie Hall won. A small indy film called Star Wars. Incidentally it is one of my favorite movies of all time; the original, I am not talking about the trilogy, or the prequels, or any subsequent special editions, cartoons, holidays specials or 3D re-releases. They are vastly different films, obviously. The original Star Wars changed film making forever. No one had ever seen anything like it in 1977. That said, I will not refute Annie Hall's claim to the Oscar. It is a wonderful film.
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