Best Picture Project is back with the most recent winner:
The Artist, 2011
Hobo Dan: I watched The Artist after it won best picture. I had a lot of perceived notions about why it won and what made it appeal to the Oscar selection committee. They were mostly right, a silent film set in Hollywood. The film industry loves to romance about itself in film by making movies about movies. But as the film went on, I began to see something else.
I began to realize that without saying a single word, I felt true emotion for the characters. I laughed at the delivery of comedic lines I could not hear. I felt genuine sympathy for the plight of the central character. And that dog! Where was his supporting actor nod? Because they did not use title cards for most of the speech in the film, I found myself actively trying to read lips to get as must as possible. I was forced to watch the actors closely. Which lead me to realize that Jean Dujardin, the lead actor, deserves every bit of that Best Actor Oscar. He earned it.
I have honestly never watched a silent film before The Artist. I was not sure I’d be able to handle the quiet. It was refreshing. You had to pay real attention to the actor’s faces and movements. It was wonderfully done. I initially thought this was the artsy choice that Academy made because they like to snooty, but I must agree, out of all the nominees for 2011, The Artist is the best one. It may not be my favorite film from 2011, but it is the best.
The Wife: Thanks to the beauty that is Netflix, I was FINALLY able to watch last year’s Best Picture winner, The Artist. As soon as I caught wind of this movie (before it won so many Oscars), I was intrigued and wanted to see it. When I saw last year’s Best Picture nominees, without having seen The Artist, I called it as the winner. My reasoning was that well, let’s face it, the film premise appeals to the Academy. A silent picture made in 2011? Check! Not to mention it is a movie about making movies and Hollywood loves to pat itself on the back. These factors combined with the fact that it was so different from the other nominees, like The Help, Moneyball and The Descendants, to name a few, really made The Artist stand out as the clear winner.
While I did want to see The Artist, I admit I was a tad skeptical of it. I wasn’t sure if I’d really like it and consider it my Best Picture winner. Fortunately for me, I ended up absolutely loving The Artist. I enjoyed it so much that it has definitely made my list of all-time favorite movies. Prior to watching The Artist, I was concerned if I would really be able to focus and grasp the story of a silent picture. When actually the silent aspect of the film ended up enabling me to understand and be captured by the story even more so than a standard modern movie with dialogue. I really felt the emotions the actors projected. I found myself laughing hysterically at times as well as nearly tearing up during certain scenes. I both sympathized and rooted for the protagonist, played by Jean Dujardin. Dujardin’s best actor win for The Artist was certainly well deserved! Seriously though why did no one think to give the dog a supporting actor nod? The dog was pretty much my favorite character!
Not only did I enjoy the story of The Artist, but I loved the way it was executed on screen. It was a beautiful movie with fantastic acting that really made you feel with each scene. The Artist has inspired me to check out some older silent pictures. So now to answer the question: is The Artist worth its Best Picture win and the hype? Absolutely! I encourage everyone to watch this movie. Don’t be afraid of the quiet, embrace it!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
A Valentine’s Day Dump
The Wife: Happy National Greeting Card Day y’all! Seriously, Happy Valentine’s Day to all of our faithful Dump readers as well as those of you checking out the blog for the first time. Even though Valentine’s Day is a silly holiday that you don’t even get a paid day off for, I admit, it can be pretty fun. Sure it’s an excuse for florists, the greeting card industry and chocolate companies to bring in loads of money. It’s also probably the only time of year people clamor to buy those disgusting heart message candies that taste like chalk. Yet, Valentine’s Day is enjoyable if you just embrace it. And I have to say that I look forward to receiving my traditional Valentine’s Day heart shaped box of chocolates from the husband this year!
So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, with the help of Hobo Dan, I’ve created a top ten list of must-see Valentine’s Day movies. Don’t be fooled into thinking these are all romantic sap. Personally I prefer more comedy based movies to watch on Valentine’s Day. We’ve designed this semi-conventional but largely UNCONVENTIONAL list with a variety of tastes in mind. Feel free to share your Valentine’s Day movie choices in the comments below!
1. When Harry Met Sally – This movie is a personal favorite of mine. It’s also one that Hobo Dan loves as well. While romantic comedies aren’t necessarily “his thing,” he enjoys When Harry Met Sally. Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan (Sally) are perfect in this movie and the story of their characters’ journey from dislike, to friends and eventually lovers is compelling, funny and quite realistic. I know When Harry Met Sally isn’t the first romantic comedy ever made, but it really did set a standard. Many movies have tried to use the premise of this movie and failed miserably. When Harry Met Sally just works!
2. Love Actually – Ok, we can group this as a Christmas movie since that’s the holiday it revolves around, but hello, look at the title. Love Actually is one of my favorite movies ever. Hobo Dan also insisted that it be included in this list. This movie can work for everyone on Valentine’s Day. It explores the different types of love in a humorous manner. It shows romantic love, unrequited love, blossoming new love, and my personal favorite, the platonic love of friendship! Walking Dead fans should check this out just to see Rick speak in his native British tongue!
3. Star Wars – Why not have yourself a Star Wars marathon this Valentine’s Day? In a relationship, single or just because. Ladies, by suggesting a Star Wars marathon, you are sure to become wife or girlfriend of the year. Star Wars has action but a touch of romance. Not to mention perhaps the most epically awesome “love quote” in history! “I love you!” “I know.” Like a boss.
4. Rocky – The first time Hobo Dan ever watched Rocky with me was on Valentine’s Day our senior year of college. While I consider this a Thanksgiving movie (it is!), Rocky is a perfectly acceptable movie for your Valentine’s Day. The love of Rocky and ADRRIAAANNN is epic. Not to mention, the love of sport! For even more fun, watch Rocky III and enjoy the bromance of Rocky and the incredible Apollo Creed! This movie will also encourage you to work out after Valentine’s Day, which is good since you will likely need to burn those heart shaped candies off.
5. Captain America/Thor/Iron Man – Any of these super hero movies can make your Valentine’s Day enjoyable. I grouped them all together, but you can pick your favorite or just watch all three. They are action packed, fun and throw in enough romance to qualify as a Valentine’s Day movie!
6. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days – I just can’t not include this. I absolutely love this movie. It’s romantic, but hilarious too. I love the soundtrack as well! Sure it has a cheesy element to it, but it’s fun. I remember seeing this with friends on a Valentine’s Day when I was single back in the day. Like I said, it’s just FUN!
7. Brave – Disney Pixar’s most recent release, Brave, could easily be part of your family Valentine’s Day tradition! While no romantic story is present, this adorable movie shows the love between a mother and daughter. The love of family is very important! Brave also proves that you don’t need someone to make you happy. Merida is seriously the coolest Disney princess! If you have kids, this movie is especially perfect!
8. Harry Potter – Seriously you didn’t think I would include Star Wars and not the Harry Potter franchise did you? Any day is good for a Harry Potter marathon so why not make it part of your Valentine’s Day?! Harry Potter encompasses romantic love and more importantly, the love of friendship!
9. Annie Hall – Woody Allen must make this list somehow! Annie Hall, one of the few romantic comedies to win an Academy Award for Best Picture, is a fun movie that can be enjoyed on Valentine’s Day. It’s hilarious and while it is an older movie, the comedic situations really aren’t dated. Not to mention, this one has a REALISTIC ending and can show you that romantic stories aren’t necessarily Hollywood perfect!
10. Psycho – Ok so you just hate Valentine’s Day. This one is for you. If you want to forget the day all together, just watch one of Hitchcock’s finest horror films, Psycho. It is a really good movie, and hey maybe it can make you feel a bit better about some of your crazy ex’s? It’s a win.
There you go! I have to give a special BONUS nod to The Notebook, which just missed the list. I love The Notebook and even own a copy of it, but if I’m being honest, I would watch all of the above movies before it. If you love a pure romance movie like The Notebook for your Valentine’s Day though, then more power to you. We hope you enjoyed our conventional, yet primarily unconventional list of Valentine’s Day movies. Happy Valentine’s Day or just Happy Thursday, whatever you prefer!
So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, with the help of Hobo Dan, I’ve created a top ten list of must-see Valentine’s Day movies. Don’t be fooled into thinking these are all romantic sap. Personally I prefer more comedy based movies to watch on Valentine’s Day. We’ve designed this semi-conventional but largely UNCONVENTIONAL list with a variety of tastes in mind. Feel free to share your Valentine’s Day movie choices in the comments below!
1. When Harry Met Sally – This movie is a personal favorite of mine. It’s also one that Hobo Dan loves as well. While romantic comedies aren’t necessarily “his thing,” he enjoys When Harry Met Sally. Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan (Sally) are perfect in this movie and the story of their characters’ journey from dislike, to friends and eventually lovers is compelling, funny and quite realistic. I know When Harry Met Sally isn’t the first romantic comedy ever made, but it really did set a standard. Many movies have tried to use the premise of this movie and failed miserably. When Harry Met Sally just works!
2. Love Actually – Ok, we can group this as a Christmas movie since that’s the holiday it revolves around, but hello, look at the title. Love Actually is one of my favorite movies ever. Hobo Dan also insisted that it be included in this list. This movie can work for everyone on Valentine’s Day. It explores the different types of love in a humorous manner. It shows romantic love, unrequited love, blossoming new love, and my personal favorite, the platonic love of friendship! Walking Dead fans should check this out just to see Rick speak in his native British tongue!
4. Rocky – The first time Hobo Dan ever watched Rocky with me was on Valentine’s Day our senior year of college. While I consider this a Thanksgiving movie (it is!), Rocky is a perfectly acceptable movie for your Valentine’s Day. The love of Rocky and ADRRIAAANNN is epic. Not to mention, the love of sport! For even more fun, watch Rocky III and enjoy the bromance of Rocky and the incredible Apollo Creed! This movie will also encourage you to work out after Valentine’s Day, which is good since you will likely need to burn those heart shaped candies off.5. Captain America/Thor/Iron Man – Any of these super hero movies can make your Valentine’s Day enjoyable. I grouped them all together, but you can pick your favorite or just watch all three. They are action packed, fun and throw in enough romance to qualify as a Valentine’s Day movie!
6. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days – I just can’t not include this. I absolutely love this movie. It’s romantic, but hilarious too. I love the soundtrack as well! Sure it has a cheesy element to it, but it’s fun. I remember seeing this with friends on a Valentine’s Day when I was single back in the day. Like I said, it’s just FUN!
7. Brave – Disney Pixar’s most recent release, Brave, could easily be part of your family Valentine’s Day tradition! While no romantic story is present, this adorable movie shows the love between a mother and daughter. The love of family is very important! Brave also proves that you don’t need someone to make you happy. Merida is seriously the coolest Disney princess! If you have kids, this movie is especially perfect!
8. Harry Potter – Seriously you didn’t think I would include Star Wars and not the Harry Potter franchise did you? Any day is good for a Harry Potter marathon so why not make it part of your Valentine’s Day?! Harry Potter encompasses romantic love and more importantly, the love of friendship!
9. Annie Hall – Woody Allen must make this list somehow! Annie Hall, one of the few romantic comedies to win an Academy Award for Best Picture, is a fun movie that can be enjoyed on Valentine’s Day. It’s hilarious and while it is an older movie, the comedic situations really aren’t dated. Not to mention, this one has a REALISTIC ending and can show you that romantic stories aren’t necessarily Hollywood perfect!
10. Psycho – Ok so you just hate Valentine’s Day. This one is for you. If you want to forget the day all together, just watch one of Hitchcock’s finest horror films, Psycho. It is a really good movie, and hey maybe it can make you feel a bit better about some of your crazy ex’s? It’s a win.There you go! I have to give a special BONUS nod to The Notebook, which just missed the list. I love The Notebook and even own a copy of it, but if I’m being honest, I would watch all of the above movies before it. If you love a pure romance movie like The Notebook for your Valentine’s Day though, then more power to you. We hope you enjoyed our conventional, yet primarily unconventional list of Valentine’s Day movies. Happy Valentine’s Day or just Happy Thursday, whatever you prefer!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Review: Identity Thief
The Wife: After seeing several “serious” movies recently, sometimes a little stupidity and humor is necessary. Also, since there isn’t much to do on a Friday night in our town, the movie, Identity Thief, seemed like an appropriate choice. Not to mention, I typically enjoy Jason Bateman’s movies. I will first off say that this was everything I thought it would be: decently funny with a semi-entertaining, yet completely unrealistic plot. However, my movie experience as a whole was quite unpleasant due to a few select movie patrons.
BEGIN RANT/When I pay to see a movie at the theatre, I expect to enjoy the “big screen” experience as I watch said film, whether it be a musical, thriller, comedy or whatever. I find it incredibly RUDE when people talk loudly during a movie. During Identity Thief, we had the unfortunate pleasure of being stuck directly behind a person who not only talked, but literally shouted throughout the entire movie. It was very distracting to say the least. Lately, the main “talkers” we’ve encountered at the theatre have typically been adults too. If rowdy teens know how to keep quiet during a movie, adults should certainly be capable of this as well. I just don’t get how people can be SO RUDE. It seems that several movies we’ve seen as of late have had several “talking offenders.” I am a talker. I will talk to anyone, but I know how to zip it and respect others when I go to the movie theatre!/END RANT
Regardless of the LOUD person, I tried to pay attention as best I could, even though at times I literally had to STRAIN my ears to hear what the characters were saying. Fortunately, Identity Thief isn’t a deep film, so that helped. The movie stars Bateman as Sandy and Melissa McCarthy, who I will always remember as Sookie from Gilmore Girls although she is best known for Bridesmaids, as Diana. Sandy is seen as a mild mannered family man and financially conservative type. Flash to Diana, who is wild, upbeat, and makes her living by scheming and stealing identities. Of course, she ends up stealing Sandy’s identity, which leads us to the plot of the movie (obviously). While the entire premise of how McCarthy’s character stole identities and how law enforcement dealt with the issue is highly unrealistic and inaccurate, it did make for some humorous hijinks. With his identity stolen and his new job on the line, Sandy decides that the only way to rectify the situation is to travel across the country, catch the person who stole his identity and bring them to the authorities. He easily catches Diana, which leads to a crazy road trip with the characters. In predictable fashion, Sandy and Diana seemingly bond during the road trip, however this of course comes with clashing personalities, oh and the fact that SHE IS A CRIMINAL. Haha! Of course, in true Hollywood fashion, the movie makes you end up feeling sorry for Diana’s character. I won’t spoil the ending for you, and while it was predictable, I enjoyed how they wrapped up the story.
Taking the unrealistic aspect out of it, Identity Thief did deliver in the laugh factor. It was funnier than the previews made it out to be, which was a nice surprise. While I did like the movie and find it humorous, it really isn’t a memorable type of comedy, like The Hangover. Unless you are super bored and don’t have incessant talkers at your movie theatre, I’d save this one for Netflix.
Hobo Dan: What can I say about Identity Thief? Stupid title. Identity Theft. There, fixed that for you over paid Hollywood writers. I was entertained by this film in the most rudimentary way possible. Meaning; when a man is kicked in the balls, I laugh. The enormous distraction sitting directly in front of me gyrating to the hip hop music; chortling at the simplistic slap stick humor; loudly protesting at the use of the ‘F’ word in a rated ‘R’ movie; taking up three seats when the rest of us were crammed in like the poorest upper-class passengers on the last life boat off the Titanic; didn’t, to put it mildly, help my enjoyment of this run of the mill comedy will a lower case ‘c’.
There is predictable, like The Hangover 2, then there is a mile of crap, followed by another mile of eighty’s comedies that are just funny enough that we remember laughing at them even though we haven’t actually watched them in years, then you’ll find Identity Thief. It was rude and crude, and I like rude and crude, but it was presented in a way that just made it pathetic, like the fat guy who orders two Big Macs and a Diet Coke or Lance Armstrong. It seems like the writers wanted it to be some edgy modern reflection of our world were black and white morals are slowly greying together, but then, just after first draft was finished, the producer fired those writers and replaced them with his twelve year old ginger son who is obsessed with fart jokes. And there wasn't even a single fart joke! Fail movie, fail.
BEGIN RANT/When I pay to see a movie at the theatre, I expect to enjoy the “big screen” experience as I watch said film, whether it be a musical, thriller, comedy or whatever. I find it incredibly RUDE when people talk loudly during a movie. During Identity Thief, we had the unfortunate pleasure of being stuck directly behind a person who not only talked, but literally shouted throughout the entire movie. It was very distracting to say the least. Lately, the main “talkers” we’ve encountered at the theatre have typically been adults too. If rowdy teens know how to keep quiet during a movie, adults should certainly be capable of this as well. I just don’t get how people can be SO RUDE. It seems that several movies we’ve seen as of late have had several “talking offenders.” I am a talker. I will talk to anyone, but I know how to zip it and respect others when I go to the movie theatre!/END RANT
Regardless of the LOUD person, I tried to pay attention as best I could, even though at times I literally had to STRAIN my ears to hear what the characters were saying. Fortunately, Identity Thief isn’t a deep film, so that helped. The movie stars Bateman as Sandy and Melissa McCarthy, who I will always remember as Sookie from Gilmore Girls although she is best known for Bridesmaids, as Diana. Sandy is seen as a mild mannered family man and financially conservative type. Flash to Diana, who is wild, upbeat, and makes her living by scheming and stealing identities. Of course, she ends up stealing Sandy’s identity, which leads us to the plot of the movie (obviously). While the entire premise of how McCarthy’s character stole identities and how law enforcement dealt with the issue is highly unrealistic and inaccurate, it did make for some humorous hijinks. With his identity stolen and his new job on the line, Sandy decides that the only way to rectify the situation is to travel across the country, catch the person who stole his identity and bring them to the authorities. He easily catches Diana, which leads to a crazy road trip with the characters. In predictable fashion, Sandy and Diana seemingly bond during the road trip, however this of course comes with clashing personalities, oh and the fact that SHE IS A CRIMINAL. Haha! Of course, in true Hollywood fashion, the movie makes you end up feeling sorry for Diana’s character. I won’t spoil the ending for you, and while it was predictable, I enjoyed how they wrapped up the story.
Taking the unrealistic aspect out of it, Identity Thief did deliver in the laugh factor. It was funnier than the previews made it out to be, which was a nice surprise. While I did like the movie and find it humorous, it really isn’t a memorable type of comedy, like The Hangover. Unless you are super bored and don’t have incessant talkers at your movie theatre, I’d save this one for Netflix.
Hobo Dan: What can I say about Identity Thief? Stupid title. Identity Theft. There, fixed that for you over paid Hollywood writers. I was entertained by this film in the most rudimentary way possible. Meaning; when a man is kicked in the balls, I laugh. The enormous distraction sitting directly in front of me gyrating to the hip hop music; chortling at the simplistic slap stick humor; loudly protesting at the use of the ‘F’ word in a rated ‘R’ movie; taking up three seats when the rest of us were crammed in like the poorest upper-class passengers on the last life boat off the Titanic; didn’t, to put it mildly, help my enjoyment of this run of the mill comedy will a lower case ‘c’.
There is predictable, like The Hangover 2, then there is a mile of crap, followed by another mile of eighty’s comedies that are just funny enough that we remember laughing at them even though we haven’t actually watched them in years, then you’ll find Identity Thief. It was rude and crude, and I like rude and crude, but it was presented in a way that just made it pathetic, like the fat guy who orders two Big Macs and a Diet Coke or Lance Armstrong. It seems like the writers wanted it to be some edgy modern reflection of our world were black and white morals are slowly greying together, but then, just after first draft was finished, the producer fired those writers and replaced them with his twelve year old ginger son who is obsessed with fart jokes. And there wasn't even a single fart joke! Fail movie, fail.
Monday, January 28, 2013
The Movies of February 2013
So here I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging because it makes me happy on a strange, deadline ridden level. I was doing four movie preview posts a year (and was failing horribly); so why not up that to one a month? Seems like a fine plan. Actually it's because of a certain a red headed reader that complains because I sometimes leave out movies he wanted to hear me bitch about for some reason. So here we are. A movie preview post all about the month of February. The process I follow is to go to the IMDB, find the list of films for a given month and watch the trailers for said films. Then start writing. If I leave anything off this list then it is absolutely not worth my time.
Remember, I use my totally made up Hype Rating System (HRS) to discern how much I want to see or not see these movies. Level 1: I plan to see this movie in theaters and so should you! Level 2: I'll probably wait until post theatrical release to see this film (Netflix, Blu-Ray, osmosis). Level 3: I will never see this movie, not even if you asked me really nice like. Level 4: I don't want to see it, but the Wife is making me; nothing I can do about it, I signed a contract.
February 1:
Warm Bodies - Level 4
Okay, so we found the cure for being a zombie. Love. Apparently all it takes is one mildly attractive blond chick with a shot gun to kick start your zombie heart back into being a human and bang, cured. While the story is way stupid and the zombie fad is so 2011, I'd probably sit down and watch this when/if it hits Netflix because it looks funny and John Malkovich is awesome. Note: after writing this, the Wife watched the trailer and informed me we will be seeing this in theaters (Da Fuk?) making this a Level 4, somehow.
Bullet to the Head - Level 3
In light of recent events, I will be censoring my hype for this movie by creating a mad lib of the following paragraph for the Wife to fill out: I wish Sylvester Stallone would put a frog through his own shiny head and stop making these pretty pieces of cute movies that all kick giant donkey dogs. No one wants to see his old cat shooting at trees anymore. You're old! Go act as some sort of crappy person would. Complain about the pink weather! Just stop making these purple movies to prove how big your chair is! Sweet car of New York City!
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - Level 3
The description reads: "A young family moves into an historic home in Georgia..." and I stopped right there. The name of this movie is The Haunting in Connecticut 2. But it is in Georgia? I don't... understand. Did the Connecticut ghost take a road trip? And where the hell is that movie? The Haunting in Connecticut 3: Road Trip starring Tom Green and a snake!
Stand Up Guys - Level 2
You can't go too wrong with Al Pacino and Christopher Walken. Throw in Alan Arkin and you have a pretty decent looking old mob guy buddy comedy. At least it seems like a comedy/drama, but trailers are so misleading these days. Is this funny, is it serious? Is it both, but which one is it more? I'll find out via Netflix.
Sound City - Level 2
Documentaries are awesome! Sadly, living in the middle of nowhere means you can't even get Les Mis at your theater on opening day. So this will never get within miles of me. That said, I don't have too much time to watch documentaries in a theater anyways, but a cold winters night with and a documentary about music directed by Dave Grohl on my couch, yes please.
February 8:
Identity Thief - Level 4
I am already tired of this trailer, and that woman (Melissa McCarthy). I have not even seen her in a movie and yet I know she will annoy the utter living crap out of me. This seems like a buddy, road trip movie with a twist. The twist being one of the buddies has stolen the identity of the other and they are not buddies at all. I somehow feel they will end up being great friends in the end. That must be my predictable Hollywood shovel-ware movie sense tingling. Sadly, February is sparse with movies the wife and I want to see, bumping this to Level 4 for me.
Side Effects - Level 3
Wife sees Channing Tatum and Jude Law flash across the movie screen and she sits up; attention obtained trailer. Then it starts talking about the side effects of medicine and the hypochondriac in her comes out. For once it pays off, scratch one less time I have to suffer through a Channing Tatum movie in my lifetime. But holy crap is that Rooney Mara? She looks different not all, dragon tattooed...
February 15:
A Good Day to Die Hard - Level 4?
Stupid, dumb, mindless action. Old dude still trying to prove he is a bad ass. A good day to die hard indeed. This comes out so close to Valentines day that I am preparing to deem it an official Valentines day movie just like the original Die Hard is without a doubt a Christmas movie. I wouldn't normally see this in theaters because I like actual substance and story in movies, but when Valentines day rolls around and your wife says "Lets see Die Hard!" instead of "Lets see random smoochy, kissy movie!" you hand her the Wife of the Year award and go see f***ing Die Hard!
Beautiful Creatures - Level 3
According to the trailer this comes out on the 13th, because that makes it cooler or something. What would probably make this Witch's coming of age story better is if they threw out the script, fired the writer and burned the original book source material and started over with a tale about two very beautiful squires trapped in a dangerous tree full of poison nuts and crazy owls. I bolded the Level 3 grade for this movie up top to help get my point across. Do not see: angst filled teen drama ahead!
Safe Haven - Level 3
Robin? Wait for it... Gosh girl first the Avengers and now this? Is scotch and Barney not enough anymore? Must you go wondering around doing movie roll after movie roll? And Mr. Nicholas Sparks. Good Sir! I say, how many damned books have you written? Surly you now have enough money to unburden us mortal men who must suffer through your horribly predictable film adaptations. I mean, these trailers... Girl and boy meet, hate one another at first, then fall in love, then conflict, ???? and profit. So easy a cloned, genetically altered Neanderthal could do it... Ha, topical scientific jokes.
Escape from Planet Earth - Level 2
This looks like a fun animated movie. Really it does. If I had kids I'd definitely take them to see this. A good subliminal lesson in governmental paranoia never hurt a kid either.
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III - Level ?
Had no idea what this was. Watched trailer. Still have no idea what this is. Judge for yourself:
(Also, IMDB has about three release dates for this so, I don't know when it's coming out)
February 22:
Snitch- Level 3
Apparently this movie is NOT about a has been, alcoholic Seeker who has to fight adversity and sober up to get one last shot at winning the Quidditch World Cup and his girl back. I am disappoint. I have to be honest, until Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wins an Oscar award for Best Actor/Supporting Actor, I will laugh and think to myself "Do you smell it?" every single time I see him pop up in a movie trailer. Always and forever.
Dark Skies - Level 3
So there are aliens, and the guy from the State Farm Insurance commercials knows all about them, and says you're screwed. They are going to get you, and probe you and make you listen to Beiber. Seems like a pretty straight forward alien abduction movie. I bet they are saved at the last moment by some inexplicable plot twist.
So there, the movies of February. You have been warned.
Remember, I use my totally made up Hype Rating System (HRS) to discern how much I want to see or not see these movies. Level 1: I plan to see this movie in theaters and so should you! Level 2: I'll probably wait until post theatrical release to see this film (Netflix, Blu-Ray, osmosis). Level 3: I will never see this movie, not even if you asked me really nice like. Level 4: I don't want to see it, but the Wife is making me; nothing I can do about it, I signed a contract.
February 1:
Warm Bodies - Level 4
Okay, so we found the cure for being a zombie. Love. Apparently all it takes is one mildly attractive blond chick with a shot gun to kick start your zombie heart back into being a human and bang, cured. While the story is way stupid and the zombie fad is so 2011, I'd probably sit down and watch this when/if it hits Netflix because it looks funny and John Malkovich is awesome. Note: after writing this, the Wife watched the trailer and informed me we will be seeing this in theaters (Da Fuk?) making this a Level 4, somehow.
Bullet to the Head - Level 3
In light of recent events, I will be censoring my hype for this movie by creating a mad lib of the following paragraph for the Wife to fill out: I wish Sylvester Stallone would put a frog through his own shiny head and stop making these pretty pieces of cute movies that all kick giant donkey dogs. No one wants to see his old cat shooting at trees anymore. You're old! Go act as some sort of crappy person would. Complain about the pink weather! Just stop making these purple movies to prove how big your chair is! Sweet car of New York City!
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - Level 3
The description reads: "A young family moves into an historic home in Georgia..." and I stopped right there. The name of this movie is The Haunting in Connecticut 2. But it is in Georgia? I don't... understand. Did the Connecticut ghost take a road trip? And where the hell is that movie? The Haunting in Connecticut 3: Road Trip starring Tom Green and a snake!
Stand Up Guys - Level 2
You can't go too wrong with Al Pacino and Christopher Walken. Throw in Alan Arkin and you have a pretty decent looking old mob guy buddy comedy. At least it seems like a comedy/drama, but trailers are so misleading these days. Is this funny, is it serious? Is it both, but which one is it more? I'll find out via Netflix.
Sound City - Level 2
Documentaries are awesome! Sadly, living in the middle of nowhere means you can't even get Les Mis at your theater on opening day. So this will never get within miles of me. That said, I don't have too much time to watch documentaries in a theater anyways, but a cold winters night with and a documentary about music directed by Dave Grohl on my couch, yes please.
February 8:
Identity Thief - Level 4
I am already tired of this trailer, and that woman (Melissa McCarthy). I have not even seen her in a movie and yet I know she will annoy the utter living crap out of me. This seems like a buddy, road trip movie with a twist. The twist being one of the buddies has stolen the identity of the other and they are not buddies at all. I somehow feel they will end up being great friends in the end. That must be my predictable Hollywood shovel-ware movie sense tingling. Sadly, February is sparse with movies the wife and I want to see, bumping this to Level 4 for me.
Side Effects - Level 3
Wife sees Channing Tatum and Jude Law flash across the movie screen and she sits up; attention obtained trailer. Then it starts talking about the side effects of medicine and the hypochondriac in her comes out. For once it pays off, scratch one less time I have to suffer through a Channing Tatum movie in my lifetime. But holy crap is that Rooney Mara? She looks different not all, dragon tattooed...
February 15:
A Good Day to Die Hard - Level 4?
Stupid, dumb, mindless action. Old dude still trying to prove he is a bad ass. A good day to die hard indeed. This comes out so close to Valentines day that I am preparing to deem it an official Valentines day movie just like the original Die Hard is without a doubt a Christmas movie. I wouldn't normally see this in theaters because I like actual substance and story in movies, but when Valentines day rolls around and your wife says "Lets see Die Hard!" instead of "Lets see random smoochy, kissy movie!" you hand her the Wife of the Year award and go see f***ing Die Hard!
Beautiful Creatures - Level 3
According to the trailer this comes out on the 13th, because that makes it cooler or something. What would probably make this Witch's coming of age story better is if they threw out the script, fired the writer and burned the original book source material and started over with a tale about two very beautiful squires trapped in a dangerous tree full of poison nuts and crazy owls. I bolded the Level 3 grade for this movie up top to help get my point across. Do not see: angst filled teen drama ahead!
Safe Haven - Level 3
Robin? Wait for it... Gosh girl first the Avengers and now this? Is scotch and Barney not enough anymore? Must you go wondering around doing movie roll after movie roll? And Mr. Nicholas Sparks. Good Sir! I say, how many damned books have you written? Surly you now have enough money to unburden us mortal men who must suffer through your horribly predictable film adaptations. I mean, these trailers... Girl and boy meet, hate one another at first, then fall in love, then conflict, ???? and profit. So easy a cloned, genetically altered Neanderthal could do it... Ha, topical scientific jokes.
Escape from Planet Earth - Level 2
This looks like a fun animated movie. Really it does. If I had kids I'd definitely take them to see this. A good subliminal lesson in governmental paranoia never hurt a kid either.
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III - Level ?
Had no idea what this was. Watched trailer. Still have no idea what this is. Judge for yourself:
(Also, IMDB has about three release dates for this so, I don't know when it's coming out)
February 22:
Snitch- Level 3
Apparently this movie is NOT about a has been, alcoholic Seeker who has to fight adversity and sober up to get one last shot at winning the Quidditch World Cup and his girl back. I am disappoint. I have to be honest, until Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wins an Oscar award for Best Actor/Supporting Actor, I will laugh and think to myself "Do you smell it?" every single time I see him pop up in a movie trailer. Always and forever.
Dark Skies - Level 3
So there are aliens, and the guy from the State Farm Insurance commercials knows all about them, and says you're screwed. They are going to get you, and probe you and make you listen to Beiber. Seems like a pretty straight forward alien abduction movie. I bet they are saved at the last moment by some inexplicable plot twist.
So there, the movies of February. You have been warned.
Friday, January 25, 2013
JJ Abrams to Direct Star Wars VII
This has not been confirmed, but with how many news outlets are reporting it, and no denial by JJ or Disney (that was weird to type) I think it's safe to say we can now prepare ourselves for frantic, shaky cam runs through the halls of the Millennium Falcon and lens flaring light saber battles.
I kid (mostly). As some of you long time readers know, I started this blog with a review of the 2009 Star Trek reboot directed by JJ Abrams. I gave it some harsh criticisms for the ramifications it made to the Trek universe. I have softened my views slightly in the years following, preferring to view it as a chance for Star Trek to continue on in some way (even if it's not exactly what Gene Roddenberry had in mind). Now as the sequel (Into Darkness) prepares for a May release, JJ Abrams seems to be taking the leap from the final frontier to a galaxy far, far away...
I actually believe he is a good choice. First, JJ is a self-proclaimed Star Wars fan. If nothing else, we need someone who truly respects the franchise to be in charge of its future (George Lucas sure didn't). I also feel JJ has a good chance to recapture the visual feel of the original trilogy that the prequels failed miserably at doing. JJ Abrams likes to use sets and only insert effects where needed. The prequels were so filled with Green Screen, I'm starting to wonder if Hayden Christensen is a real person at all.
The script for Star Wars VII is being written by Michael Arndt, who won an Academy Award for his screen play of Little Miss Sunshine (a fantastic movie). This seems like a pretty big genera shift, but the Academy doesn't just hand out awards to bad writers. So the real question now, a question which in my own humble opinion is much greater than who is writing and directing the film: what characters are in this film? It is very reasonable to think that all the primary actors could be brought in to play older versions of themselves. Disney, if anything, has plenty of money to throw at reluctant, bitter actors, unwilling to reprise a roll. I mean damn Harrison Ford; you played in Cowboys and Aliens! Or do they cast the film further into the future, possibly using Han and Leia's children as the primary actors with smaller parts for the original actors? They could recast the original actors, but I see this as a last resort.
I viewed Disney buying Star Wars as a fresh start for the franchise. It makes money, and like anything that makes money, people will continue to milk its teat for more money. So if we must have new Star Wars films forced upon us, they may as well be as good as possible. I think JJ Abrams will ensure a quality product that is a fun, action packed ride that will leave us wanting more.
Or, Star Wars VII starts off right at the end of Return of the Jedi. Just after Luke burns the body of his father and smiles at some ghosts. Suddenly a black hold rips through the sky, pulling the entirety of Endor through it! Endor, along with all principal cast, arrives in the past just in time royally screw up some important plot point, altering the timeline of this past in unknown ways...
I kid (mostly). As some of you long time readers know, I started this blog with a review of the 2009 Star Trek reboot directed by JJ Abrams. I gave it some harsh criticisms for the ramifications it made to the Trek universe. I have softened my views slightly in the years following, preferring to view it as a chance for Star Trek to continue on in some way (even if it's not exactly what Gene Roddenberry had in mind). Now as the sequel (Into Darkness) prepares for a May release, JJ Abrams seems to be taking the leap from the final frontier to a galaxy far, far away...
I actually believe he is a good choice. First, JJ is a self-proclaimed Star Wars fan. If nothing else, we need someone who truly respects the franchise to be in charge of its future (George Lucas sure didn't). I also feel JJ has a good chance to recapture the visual feel of the original trilogy that the prequels failed miserably at doing. JJ Abrams likes to use sets and only insert effects where needed. The prequels were so filled with Green Screen, I'm starting to wonder if Hayden Christensen is a real person at all.
The script for Star Wars VII is being written by Michael Arndt, who won an Academy Award for his screen play of Little Miss Sunshine (a fantastic movie). This seems like a pretty big genera shift, but the Academy doesn't just hand out awards to bad writers. So the real question now, a question which in my own humble opinion is much greater than who is writing and directing the film: what characters are in this film? It is very reasonable to think that all the primary actors could be brought in to play older versions of themselves. Disney, if anything, has plenty of money to throw at reluctant, bitter actors, unwilling to reprise a roll. I mean damn Harrison Ford; you played in Cowboys and Aliens! Or do they cast the film further into the future, possibly using Han and Leia's children as the primary actors with smaller parts for the original actors? They could recast the original actors, but I see this as a last resort.
I viewed Disney buying Star Wars as a fresh start for the franchise. It makes money, and like anything that makes money, people will continue to milk its teat for more money. So if we must have new Star Wars films forced upon us, they may as well be as good as possible. I think JJ Abrams will ensure a quality product that is a fun, action packed ride that will leave us wanting more.
Or, Star Wars VII starts off right at the end of Return of the Jedi. Just after Luke burns the body of his father and smiles at some ghosts. Suddenly a black hold rips through the sky, pulling the entirety of Endor through it! Endor, along with all principal cast, arrives in the past just in time royally screw up some important plot point, altering the timeline of this past in unknown ways...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)







