See, I told you someone else out there wanted to get a piece of this hot blog action. Here is the first of hopefully many guest blogs. If you still want to write one feel free to submit them to: dumptheblog@gmail.com. Enjoy!
The Sky Really Isn't Falling......I Don't Think
I love end of the world prophecies. Talk about blog fodder. How many of these have we endured in my 54 years? A bunch. Remember Y2K? We made it past that one. My mom still has a stack of cut wood for her fireplace for when the electricity went off. Oh yeah, it didn't. Then Jim Jones convinced a bunch of fellow fruitcakes that all was lost. It was....for them. With the rash of recent earthquakes and tsunamis (had anyone other than oceanographers heard of that word until a few years ago?), I am sure that there will also be a rash of end of days predictions. Unfortunately, these people didn't pay very close attention during science class when geology was being discussed or they might have a better idea of how insignificant these events are from a geologic time perspective.
It kills me when preachers, pastors, padres, and other erstwhile holy men propagate this kind of crap. Yes, I am a believer and I know the bible talks about the end days, but it makes no real reference as to when that will be. And people like the aforementioned should know better. They don't do much to lend credibility to Christian beliefs either.
Now it appears that December 21 or so of 2012 is the big day. I am so glad that they have pinpointed the exact time. I can take the day off work - heck, I can quit work - and sit outside in my lawn chair to watch the events unfold before my very eyes. Unfortunately, it will be cold outside, or I would throw some tube steaks on the grill and whip up some frozen concoctions to aid me in my observations. Then again maybe it will be warm, what with global warming and all.
Personally, it doesn't matter to me if this is the end or not. I have made peace with the man upstairs, and I believe I'm safe from any sort of end time shenanigans. But I really don't think that some calendar created by an ancient civilizations has a handle on when the lights go out for our fair planet. I could be wrong. I have been many times before, so don't take my word as gospel. But when people like Mel Gibson, Shirley McClain, Canibus, Jeneane Garafolo, and Montel Williams believe the 2012 prophecies, the smart money says that you probably ought not max out your credits cards.
"Those who know don't tell, those who tell don't know."
-Bill Huber, retired minister, silicon valley chemist, and one of the smartest people I ever met.
Submitted by: ratherbebikin
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Best Picture Project 5, Platoon
Happy Monday everyone. Looks like we are still going strong with this Best Picture Project. Don't forget to look here for past posts. Next week we will be tackling both The Sound of Music and Chariots of Fire.
Platoon, 1986
Well we chose to go ahead and watch Platoon as part of our Best Picture Project series since it only had one day left on Netflix Instant Play! We have to take advantage of all the movies available on that.
This is probably not a movie I would see again, but I actually enjoyed it. Charlie Sheen (WINNING!) did a great job as did the other cast members, especially Willem Defoe. Defoe’s death scene, which has been spoofed in many films including the ever-so WINNING Tropic Thunder, was a bit over the top…however, cheesiness aside, you really felt his pain. He had just been betrayed and was doing EVERY thing he could to try and live. Quite sad really.
In fact, the majority of Platoon had a tragic, depressing feel… which is understandable because the Vietnam War is a very tragic/depressing subject. The movie really demonstrated how that war changed people. I have never been in the military so I do not know, but talking to many people who have, they say that war in general changes you. During the movie, you see Sheen’s character go from naïve in the beginning to completely broken of spirit at the end. Some scenes, like one where they go to a village and one of the U.S. soldiers basically assaults a retarded Vietnamese boy, was sickening to watch.
As with many Oliver Stone movies, however, this film was quite liberal in thought. After watching the movie, I read reviews from people who actually served in Vietnam. The VAST majority of reviews complained and said the only thing true about Platoon was the feel and look of the jungle scenes. Many complained that they did not like the characterizations of the soldiers as either hippies or ignorant bumpkins. I do think there could have been more characterizations, however, it is just a movie and isn’t meant to be a completely fictional tale of the Vietnam War. My complaints would be how the white soldiers were the only ones portrayed as “bad” or “stupid” in the movie, which seems a bit racist, but oh well.
I still enjoyed the movie whether it is historically accurate or not. It gives me an even DEEPER appreciation for all those who gave their lives and served in Vietnam as well as all those currently serving to protect our freedoms in the military now. I have the utmost respect for our military — without them we couldn’t live the way we do today. Whether you are for or against war, I believe respect must ALWAYS be given to our troops. God Bless you all.
So, was this film worthy of its Oscar? YES! Now I have never seen any of the other films nominated, but I still stand by my decision!
The Wife-
So I have very mixed feelings about the Oscar worthiness of this film. I'll start by saying I haven't seen a single other movie nominated in 1986 (I haven't even heard of any of the other nominees). So I really don't have any ammo to say this movie does not deserve best picture. However, something about Platoon just bothers me. Maybe it's a twenty year old Charlie Sheen not even trying. Perhaps it's how every character in the film is either a warmongering killer or a pot smoking hippie who just wants to go home. I'm aware Oliver Stone was in Vietnam, but I have trouble believing that everyone who fought in that war fits into one of these stereotypes.
Most of my fellow war movie lovers will probably hate me for this, but I really don't care for this movie. Sure, war is hell and it does a great job portraying that aspect. Maybe I'm getting old, but do they have to say fuck every other word? At what point did Hollywood decide everyone talks like that? But I guess Hollywood does know best, or so they tell us. It seems to me that Stone (who is know for being political) made a very political war movie during a time when vietnam movies were as popular as vampire movies are now. I guess the Academy had a pretty slim choice of movies in 1986 and gave the best picture to the one that fit their view of the world. I mean this isn't any better than Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket and neither of them won. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting bored of the same old same old. Probably I'm having trouble putting myself into the shoes of a movie goer from the eighties. I'm rambling, but I guess this movie deserves it's Oscar if not for any other reason than I'm bored of thinking about it.
Hobo Dan-
Platoon, 1986
Well we chose to go ahead and watch Platoon as part of our Best Picture Project series since it only had one day left on Netflix Instant Play! We have to take advantage of all the movies available on that.
This is probably not a movie I would see again, but I actually enjoyed it. Charlie Sheen (WINNING!) did a great job as did the other cast members, especially Willem Defoe. Defoe’s death scene, which has been spoofed in many films including the ever-so WINNING Tropic Thunder, was a bit over the top…however, cheesiness aside, you really felt his pain. He had just been betrayed and was doing EVERY thing he could to try and live. Quite sad really.
In fact, the majority of Platoon had a tragic, depressing feel… which is understandable because the Vietnam War is a very tragic/depressing subject. The movie really demonstrated how that war changed people. I have never been in the military so I do not know, but talking to many people who have, they say that war in general changes you. During the movie, you see Sheen’s character go from naïve in the beginning to completely broken of spirit at the end. Some scenes, like one where they go to a village and one of the U.S. soldiers basically assaults a retarded Vietnamese boy, was sickening to watch.
As with many Oliver Stone movies, however, this film was quite liberal in thought. After watching the movie, I read reviews from people who actually served in Vietnam. The VAST majority of reviews complained and said the only thing true about Platoon was the feel and look of the jungle scenes. Many complained that they did not like the characterizations of the soldiers as either hippies or ignorant bumpkins. I do think there could have been more characterizations, however, it is just a movie and isn’t meant to be a completely fictional tale of the Vietnam War. My complaints would be how the white soldiers were the only ones portrayed as “bad” or “stupid” in the movie, which seems a bit racist, but oh well.
I still enjoyed the movie whether it is historically accurate or not. It gives me an even DEEPER appreciation for all those who gave their lives and served in Vietnam as well as all those currently serving to protect our freedoms in the military now. I have the utmost respect for our military — without them we couldn’t live the way we do today. Whether you are for or against war, I believe respect must ALWAYS be given to our troops. God Bless you all.
So, was this film worthy of its Oscar? YES! Now I have never seen any of the other films nominated, but I still stand by my decision!
The Wife-
So I have very mixed feelings about the Oscar worthiness of this film. I'll start by saying I haven't seen a single other movie nominated in 1986 (I haven't even heard of any of the other nominees). So I really don't have any ammo to say this movie does not deserve best picture. However, something about Platoon just bothers me. Maybe it's a twenty year old Charlie Sheen not even trying. Perhaps it's how every character in the film is either a warmongering killer or a pot smoking hippie who just wants to go home. I'm aware Oliver Stone was in Vietnam, but I have trouble believing that everyone who fought in that war fits into one of these stereotypes.
Most of my fellow war movie lovers will probably hate me for this, but I really don't care for this movie. Sure, war is hell and it does a great job portraying that aspect. Maybe I'm getting old, but do they have to say fuck every other word? At what point did Hollywood decide everyone talks like that? But I guess Hollywood does know best, or so they tell us. It seems to me that Stone (who is know for being political) made a very political war movie during a time when vietnam movies were as popular as vampire movies are now. I guess the Academy had a pretty slim choice of movies in 1986 and gave the best picture to the one that fit their view of the world. I mean this isn't any better than Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket and neither of them won. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting bored of the same old same old. Probably I'm having trouble putting myself into the shoes of a movie goer from the eighties. I'm rambling, but I guess this movie deserves it's Oscar if not for any other reason than I'm bored of thinking about it.
Hobo Dan-
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Wife's Birthday
Eight. Somewhere down the road we learned to get along without killing one another. It was a slow process hashed out over many a long AIM conversation. You’d go into great detail about some subject of great interest to you; I would answer with: “cool," "lol” or “I see.” I’m a man of few words. . . until you piss me off. Four long dormitory years led to four unbelievably short real world years. In that time we learned to live together without killing one another; a much harder task. It’s been a worthy exercise in patience, love and choosing one’s battles very carefully. No one is perfect, including us. We get mad and yell. We get sad and cry. But your faults are my strengths and your strengths are my faults. Ka (life) is a wheel, if I may borrow from my favorite author, and we help each other spin. Eight years I’ve helped celebrate your birthday.
Many of you are probably wondering, “Who’s the guy writing all this sappy shit?” My wife is most likely among you. To doubters I answer: there is no better way to find yourself in the “good graces” of your wife than a public show of affection. If you’re giggling at my sad attempt at innuendo, thank you. Sometimes I lose track of life and stop appreciating all I have because of all I don’t. I'm pretty lucky. I managed to convince a very attractive, young, intelligent, athletic, mostly sane woman to put up with me. And that’s really what it’s all about. We get so little time here and we tend to spend it bitching about what we haven’t done or don’t have. This is a good day to remember what I do have. If civilization broke down today and I lost all my possessions and home, at least I’d have my wife to help me lop off the zombie heads. And that’s alright by me.
It is your Birthday; I love you.
Many of you are probably wondering, “Who’s the guy writing all this sappy shit?” My wife is most likely among you. To doubters I answer: there is no better way to find yourself in the “good graces” of your wife than a public show of affection. If you’re giggling at my sad attempt at innuendo, thank you. Sometimes I lose track of life and stop appreciating all I have because of all I don’t. I'm pretty lucky. I managed to convince a very attractive, young, intelligent, athletic, mostly sane woman to put up with me. And that’s really what it’s all about. We get so little time here and we tend to spend it bitching about what we haven’t done or don’t have. This is a good day to remember what I do have. If civilization broke down today and I lost all my possessions and home, at least I’d have my wife to help me lop off the zombie heads. And that’s alright by me.
It is your Birthday; I love you.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Best Picture Project 4, No Country for Old Men
Welcome back for another Best Picture Project post. We hope you have been enjoying our thoughts. Please let us know in the comments if you do, or if you think we are stupid and full of crap! Here is that super secret link to the BBP label if your too lazy to scroll down and click it yourself. Next week's movie is Platoon.
No Country for Old Men, 2007
Is it a good or a bad when your favorite scene from a film is the opening monologue? I guess that depends on what comes after. In No Country for Old Men’s case it’s not a great thing. This movie is deep, thoughtful, brutal, thrilling and for me somewhat of a let down. It is based off the book of the same name by Cormack McCarthy; the author of one of my all time favorite books: The Road. A viewing note before I go any further, this movie was beautiful to behold in HD. If you’re going to see it, do so in High Definition. The vast Texas landscape of the film is simply breath taking and is another reason I loved the opening scene so much.
I’m not sure what exactly disappointed me about No Country for Old Men. The acting was absolutely wonderful. Tommy Lee Jones always proves he’s one of the best in Hollywood. Josh Brolin managed to pull off a very strong performance. He remained somewhat likable even though his characters actions were less than moral. Javier Bardem, who won best supporting actor for his role, stole the show as the gun for hire. As I mentioned earlier, the cinematography and set pieces were perfect. The sound and music don’t particularly stand out to me, but they don’t stand out as bad either. I guess it all comes down to story. I understand the story and what they were going for. The problems come in the presentation. I felt the long wandering monologues, while well spoken and written, slowed the film down and killed the sense of anticipation built in the action scenes. Don’t get me wrong I love a good monologue and this film is full of them. There in lies the problem.
Another issue I had was predictability. It didn’t take long for me to realize Josh Brolin’s character was going to die one way or another. When you steal two million dollars from drug lords and leave enough evidence that they know your name, you’re a dead man. Not once after that initial thought did I have doubts about his impending doom; this ruined any sense of suspense for me. This identity crisis was also a problem. Is this a thriller or an action film or a thinker? It’s just not clear. I don’t mind genre blending to a certain point, but here it’s less smooth transitions and more harsh changes from intense action to deep thought provoking monologues. Not to mention I truly stopped caring if Brolin’s character died or not after he chose to try and save himself instead of guarantee his wife’s survival.
I know what they were doing with the open ending. It’s really all in the title people. There is no country for old men. Things are changing and the America of our fathers and grandfathers is gone, likely never to return. The directors, the Cohen brothers did an outstanding job. If you liked Fargo and True Grit or pretty much anything else they have made, you’ll enjoy this; as I did. However the individual aspects of the film are much greater than its whole. I understand why it won best picture, but I do not agree. In a year that suffered from the writers strike, there was a less than full field of contenders. Unfortunately, I have real trouble putting No Country for Old Men above Juno for best picture that year. So for the first time in our best picture project, with some hesitation, I must render a not worthy verdict. But don’t just lean on my opinion, see it for yourself! If you disagree I want to know why.
Hobo Dan-
I was excited to see this film as it was described as a “thriller.” The opening monologue was well done, and the movie looked gorgeous, which was probably due to the blu-ray quality. Tommy Lee Jones was awesome as was Javier Bardem.
That being said, now time for my complaints. The movie did not live up to my expectations. What could have been a good plot seemed to JUST END. It was as if the writers knew they had to wrap up the movie because time was running out and they just haphazardly threw the end together. I GET the theme of the movie and the ending…I just feel like it could have been done better. I understand that they are saying the old days of the past are gone, the world is crappy and that there is “no country for old men.”
I guess I was primarily disappointed overall with this movie. To stress once again, YES, I got the film…it just wasn’t my cup of tea. (I can’t stand when people get upset because you don’t like a movie and then they try to say “well, you just didn’t get it” haha). So, for the first time in my BPP reviews, I DO NOT think this film was worthy of its Oscar win. Juno, which blew me away and was simply awesome, should have taken home that award. However, if you have yet to see No Country for Old Men, please do, you might like it…to each is his own.
The Wife-
No Country for Old Men, 2007
Is it a good or a bad when your favorite scene from a film is the opening monologue? I guess that depends on what comes after. In No Country for Old Men’s case it’s not a great thing. This movie is deep, thoughtful, brutal, thrilling and for me somewhat of a let down. It is based off the book of the same name by Cormack McCarthy; the author of one of my all time favorite books: The Road. A viewing note before I go any further, this movie was beautiful to behold in HD. If you’re going to see it, do so in High Definition. The vast Texas landscape of the film is simply breath taking and is another reason I loved the opening scene so much.
I’m not sure what exactly disappointed me about No Country for Old Men. The acting was absolutely wonderful. Tommy Lee Jones always proves he’s one of the best in Hollywood. Josh Brolin managed to pull off a very strong performance. He remained somewhat likable even though his characters actions were less than moral. Javier Bardem, who won best supporting actor for his role, stole the show as the gun for hire. As I mentioned earlier, the cinematography and set pieces were perfect. The sound and music don’t particularly stand out to me, but they don’t stand out as bad either. I guess it all comes down to story. I understand the story and what they were going for. The problems come in the presentation. I felt the long wandering monologues, while well spoken and written, slowed the film down and killed the sense of anticipation built in the action scenes. Don’t get me wrong I love a good monologue and this film is full of them. There in lies the problem.
Another issue I had was predictability. It didn’t take long for me to realize Josh Brolin’s character was going to die one way or another. When you steal two million dollars from drug lords and leave enough evidence that they know your name, you’re a dead man. Not once after that initial thought did I have doubts about his impending doom; this ruined any sense of suspense for me. This identity crisis was also a problem. Is this a thriller or an action film or a thinker? It’s just not clear. I don’t mind genre blending to a certain point, but here it’s less smooth transitions and more harsh changes from intense action to deep thought provoking monologues. Not to mention I truly stopped caring if Brolin’s character died or not after he chose to try and save himself instead of guarantee his wife’s survival.
I know what they were doing with the open ending. It’s really all in the title people. There is no country for old men. Things are changing and the America of our fathers and grandfathers is gone, likely never to return. The directors, the Cohen brothers did an outstanding job. If you liked Fargo and True Grit or pretty much anything else they have made, you’ll enjoy this; as I did. However the individual aspects of the film are much greater than its whole. I understand why it won best picture, but I do not agree. In a year that suffered from the writers strike, there was a less than full field of contenders. Unfortunately, I have real trouble putting No Country for Old Men above Juno for best picture that year. So for the first time in our best picture project, with some hesitation, I must render a not worthy verdict. But don’t just lean on my opinion, see it for yourself! If you disagree I want to know why.
Hobo Dan-
I was excited to see this film as it was described as a “thriller.” The opening monologue was well done, and the movie looked gorgeous, which was probably due to the blu-ray quality. Tommy Lee Jones was awesome as was Javier Bardem.
That being said, now time for my complaints. The movie did not live up to my expectations. What could have been a good plot seemed to JUST END. It was as if the writers knew they had to wrap up the movie because time was running out and they just haphazardly threw the end together. I GET the theme of the movie and the ending…I just feel like it could have been done better. I understand that they are saying the old days of the past are gone, the world is crappy and that there is “no country for old men.”
I guess I was primarily disappointed overall with this movie. To stress once again, YES, I got the film…it just wasn’t my cup of tea. (I can’t stand when people get upset because you don’t like a movie and then they try to say “well, you just didn’t get it” haha). So, for the first time in my BPP reviews, I DO NOT think this film was worthy of its Oscar win. Juno, which blew me away and was simply awesome, should have taken home that award. However, if you have yet to see No Country for Old Men, please do, you might like it…to each is his own.
The Wife-
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Shorts
Existential Crisis
You’re going to die. Don’t worry, I will too. Everyone is going to die. Would it change how you live if you knew when, where and why? Sometimes I go through a philosophical crisis of being and ask questions like that; questions that have no real answer. Sure you could answer it, but how do you know that’s how you’d react? We don’t know ourselves nearly as much as we think or wish to. Sometimes I find myself wondering who the hell that guy in the mirror is, because I sure don’t recognize him from ten years ago. Ten years used to seem like a long ass time too, and now, it’s nothing. I guess time really is relative. He’s one nasty relative at that; the kind that you don’t see forever and then shows up at your Grandmother’s funeral and calls you fat. This philosophy is tiring, I know. You’re probably bored and wish I’d write some rant about babies first birthday or the latest thing that has pissed me off. But kids, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorn farts. Sometimes life sucks and no matter how much you poke fun at it, it still scares the hell out of you.
Have a Nice Day...
And the appropriate response to that would be? A blank stair as if confused by the sentence? A nasty frown? No response at all because you where too busy flapping your lips into the cell phone to hear me or give a rats ass that I just did all your work for you because your too stupid/lazy to fill out some simple forms all on your own? I understand only one of us is being paid to be nice. I’m pretty sure if I weren’t paid I probably wouldn’t be either, but come on people! What is going on in this world? Why can’t people be nice? What happened to thank you and you’re welcome? We have invented a million new insults that mostly make no sense but it’s too hard to force “Thanks” out of your fat, greasy, fast food smelling mouth!
Mail
I got a letter in the mail the other day from Dish Network. The letter stated it was from Dish’s CEO and was addressed to: Our Neighbor. My neighbor is the redneck hill jack who has ten barking dogs and three trucks that sound like Vesuvius when he fires them up; proving to all of us his wiener is indeed as big as the sound implies. He uses stray cats as target practice. His home décor can be described as a cross between outdoorsman and Apocalypse Now. On occasion Budweiser Corp comes by for some blood tests to see what an all beer diet will actually do to a person. You’re telling me that guy is the CEO of Dish Network and expect me to want to join up? A thousand channels all playing Bonanza and Dallas all day? No thanks, I’ll stick with my cable. Not like I need another item attached to my house to catch all the bird shit. I already have three cars for that.
Cell Phones
Cell phones, oh lord, cell phones! Cell phones at lunch, cell phones at dinner; cell phones at work, cell phones at play. Cell phones before, during and after sex. Cell phones at the movies! I’m so sick of cell phones. People just love their damned cell phones. Maybe someday they will be able to install them directly into our bodies. You know, the receiver will be up in the ear and they can place the key pad somewhere in your arm. I think if they let you pick where the key pad goes I’ll have them put it on my penis. That way whenever I have to call someone I’ll have to whip it out and people will be like:
“Hey, Daniel, um, you should probably put that thing away.” And I’ll be like.
“No, it’s cool. I’m just calling my wife.” I’ll probably keep the ringer on vibrate most of the time, although occasionally it’d be funny to turn it to loud so when people call my crotch starts singing Baby Got Back. Or maybe I’ll make my ring tone some Michael Jackson song so when I answer I can grab myself and yell. It sure would change the meaning of playing Angry Birds.
You’re going to die. Don’t worry, I will too. Everyone is going to die. Would it change how you live if you knew when, where and why? Sometimes I go through a philosophical crisis of being and ask questions like that; questions that have no real answer. Sure you could answer it, but how do you know that’s how you’d react? We don’t know ourselves nearly as much as we think or wish to. Sometimes I find myself wondering who the hell that guy in the mirror is, because I sure don’t recognize him from ten years ago. Ten years used to seem like a long ass time too, and now, it’s nothing. I guess time really is relative. He’s one nasty relative at that; the kind that you don’t see forever and then shows up at your Grandmother’s funeral and calls you fat. This philosophy is tiring, I know. You’re probably bored and wish I’d write some rant about babies first birthday or the latest thing that has pissed me off. But kids, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorn farts. Sometimes life sucks and no matter how much you poke fun at it, it still scares the hell out of you.
Have a Nice Day...
And the appropriate response to that would be? A blank stair as if confused by the sentence? A nasty frown? No response at all because you where too busy flapping your lips into the cell phone to hear me or give a rats ass that I just did all your work for you because your too stupid/lazy to fill out some simple forms all on your own? I understand only one of us is being paid to be nice. I’m pretty sure if I weren’t paid I probably wouldn’t be either, but come on people! What is going on in this world? Why can’t people be nice? What happened to thank you and you’re welcome? We have invented a million new insults that mostly make no sense but it’s too hard to force “Thanks” out of your fat, greasy, fast food smelling mouth!
I got a letter in the mail the other day from Dish Network. The letter stated it was from Dish’s CEO and was addressed to: Our Neighbor. My neighbor is the redneck hill jack who has ten barking dogs and three trucks that sound like Vesuvius when he fires them up; proving to all of us his wiener is indeed as big as the sound implies. He uses stray cats as target practice. His home décor can be described as a cross between outdoorsman and Apocalypse Now. On occasion Budweiser Corp comes by for some blood tests to see what an all beer diet will actually do to a person. You’re telling me that guy is the CEO of Dish Network and expect me to want to join up? A thousand channels all playing Bonanza and Dallas all day? No thanks, I’ll stick with my cable. Not like I need another item attached to my house to catch all the bird shit. I already have three cars for that.
Cell Phones
Cell phones, oh lord, cell phones! Cell phones at lunch, cell phones at dinner; cell phones at work, cell phones at play. Cell phones before, during and after sex. Cell phones at the movies! I’m so sick of cell phones. People just love their damned cell phones. Maybe someday they will be able to install them directly into our bodies. You know, the receiver will be up in the ear and they can place the key pad somewhere in your arm. I think if they let you pick where the key pad goes I’ll have them put it on my penis. That way whenever I have to call someone I’ll have to whip it out and people will be like:
“Hey, Daniel, um, you should probably put that thing away.” And I’ll be like.
“No, it’s cool. I’m just calling my wife.” I’ll probably keep the ringer on vibrate most of the time, although occasionally it’d be funny to turn it to loud so when people call my crotch starts singing Baby Got Back. Or maybe I’ll make my ring tone some Michael Jackson song so when I answer I can grab myself and yell. It sure would change the meaning of playing Angry Birds.
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