So I realize March is almost over, and this is very late. Oh, well. In Spring movie preview I generally cover films releasing in March, April and May. Well nothing good really came out this month so far anyways. As usual I have three anticipation levels for the new releases on the schedule: see it in theaters, wait for netflix and never see this movie, ever, even if threatened with physical, mental and/or emotional harm. And don't forget option four (the Wife is making me see it).
The Hunger Games, March 23
I've been keeping myself in the dark on this one. The Wife just read the books and has been busting at the seams to tell me about them, which makes my info embargo all the more worth while. I get the basic idea from the trailers and that's all I care to go on. It looks interesting enough for me to recommend putting down some cash for tickets at the theater. We will have the full review next Monday, full of the Wife's fangirl raving, in case you were wondering.
Wrath of the Titans, March 30
Sadly this movie will be terrible. It sure looks pretty. Every time I see the trailer I want to see it and I want it to be good. I know it won't be. It is further tarnished by it shameless flaunting of 3D effects. Seriously, is the 3D fade still ongoing? Thanks a lot Avatar, or should I call you Pocahontas/Smurf/Fern Gully on crack rip off? I'll wait until it's on Netflix. Check that, I'll wait till Netflix streaming (never).
Titanic 3D, April 4
American Reunion, April 6
Another one? Unfortunately for me, The Wife's birthday is in April. With a choice between this and Titanic 3D, I'll choose secret option three (death).
The Raven, April 27
Hey, I like John Cusack as much as the next guy, but this looks awful. They are turning Edgar Allen Poe into the hero of a murder mystery? Here is how that would really go down, Detective: "Hey Edgar, you want to help us solve this murder?" Edgar: "No, I'm just going to have a few more drinks and then go lay down in the ditch. Thanks though!" Ugh.
The Avengers, May 4
This could be so good it smashes out our ear drums, gives us cataracts and removes our ability to enjoy any form of entertainment less awesome that it, or so bad it smashes out our ear drums, gives us cataracts and removes our ability to enjoy any form of entertainment because we have lost our souls. Either way I'll be first in line at the theater wearing my Captain America shirt.
Battleship, May 18
Yep, it's a board game and now a movie. Only a movie with 100% more aliens and explosions and super manly men doing awesome manly stuff on ships. Seamen, if you will. What's next completely-out-of-ideas Hollywood? Risk, Chess, Checkers, Uno, Monopoly, Key to the Kingdom? Okay, that last one I'd go see. In short, I'll eat my new Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival knife before seeing this movie, and it's a big knife.
Men In Black 3, May 25
The first one was awesome,
the second one was not,
the third one is unnecessary,
so see it I will not.