Thursday, February 24, 2011

Death to Laptops

I've known for awhile now that I need a new battery in my laptop. When you own a laptop that is just a fact you have to face. But you see, recently, and just after the battery fully died, the power cord to said laptop also crapped it pants. I was able to fix it with duct tape, but this was only temporary. I guess duct tape can't fix everything; my world has been destroyed. This left me with no main computer and a two hundred dollar bill to get the replacement parts. Thus, I hate laptops. I have for a long time and this only reaffirms it. I don't care how convenient it is to sit with one on the couch while you watch TV. That's what the iPad is for, that and moister prevention.

You see, no matter how much money you throw down to get a laptop, eventually it will get cracked or bent or thrown off a dock in a fit of rage because the battery died just before you got in the final ebay bid on that giant William Shatner poster you always wanted. My wife wants our next computer to be another laptop and I told her she'll have to kill me in my sleep before I bring a new one of those over prices paper weights into my home. At least not before I get the shiny new iMac I want; but that's beside the point. Did I mention this is not the first time I've replaced the battery? Did I mention I've also had to replace one of the cooling fans? I know desktops have problems too, but they don't have batteries. You don't carry them around and expose them for hazards like weather, backpacks and stupid people looking over your shoulder at the library or coffee shop like they've never seen a laptop before.

And honestly, with mobile smart phones and tablet computers, I sometimes think the traditional laptop could be on the way out. But then again so could our civilization in general; did anyone watch Jeopardy a couple weeks ago, that Watson computer is just one more step toward Skynet. I was shocked when the show ended and Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't show up and start shooting at us with bazookas and mispronouncing simple english words. Technology is so helpful in helping us do things we never really needed to do in the first place. Really, all we NEED to do is eat to live, reproduce to replace and shit to, well you know, empty out. I guess in some way the computers are helping us do that; except for the people who sit in their basement and play video-games and watch porn, but do we really want them in the gene pool anyways?

1 comment:

  1. I love your blog, but the color scheme makes me see a set of black and white lines on everything for about 5 minutes, but for some reason I just keep reading...